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TWE159请哪位大虾帮忙给个分

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楼主
发表于 2005-7-20 10:31:00 | 只看该作者

TWE159请哪位大虾帮忙给个分

When people talk about twentieth century, the deepest impression in people’s mind is that there are great many changes during this century. In my point of view, I consider that the most vital change is the appearance of t computers, because it makes our life comfortable, keeps us informed and help us touch with others easily.



In the first place on essential reason in support of my view is that thanks to inventing computers, a significant number of things can be readily done, by using computer, so efficient is using   computer that we can stay at home to finish all thing, such as shopping, paying the bill and so and so on.. Furthermore, it helps us save the precious time, which we spend on traveling before.



In the second place another chief reason is that with the science and technology developing, any latest news or researches are able to be found by computers. In this case, computers became the most common instrument to collect the information. For purpose of this, not only do so many students use them to finish the report, but also they play an important role in assisting them to find their satisfied jobs after they graduate.



Last but not least, the reason why I consider the appearance of the computers should be remembered is that through computers, we are able to easily commucate with the friends and our family  members, thought they are far away. Moreover, not only can we hear their voice, but also we are able to see them, which the traditional communications cannot do.



To sum up, benefits of the emergence of computers, which include making our life more comfortable, keeping ourselves informed and touching with others more easily , let me believe that the computers should be remembered as the twentieth century the greatest change.





[此贴子已经被作者于2005-7-20 21:53:18编辑过]
沙发
发表于 2005-7-20 11:49:00 | 只看该作者

because it makes our life comfortable, keeps us informed and (help)helps us touch with others easily.


such as shopping, paying the bill (and so and so on.. )and so on.....


any latest news or (newest去掉)researches are able to


we are able to easily (touch这个词在此文中用的太多了建议换一下) communicate with the friends and our family  members,


keeping ourselves informed and touching with others more easily( who is far away, 去掉)


还有你的文章中有时是computer有时是computers显得有点乱.最好把它们统一了.


以上是我个人的建议,可以参考一下.

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-20 21:55:00 | 只看该作者

请给个分

地板
发表于 2005-7-21 09:00:00 | 只看该作者

你的文章最大的毛病就是累赘.....加字不是这么加的啊.....


你自己读了没的呀...

5#
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-22 06:40:00 | 只看该作者
那怎么加啊
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