麻烦大家给扔砖评判下吧twe001

burningsky

1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, more and more people are thinking of and do attend universities for all kinds of reasons. As a student myself studying in the university at the moment, I think people should attend univesities to get a better, system education, to get prepared for entering society, and to develop the skill of comunication by making close friends.

    As far as I am concerned, one of the most important reasons to attend a universities is to get a higher education and abtain more system knowledge. As the development of almost all areas of social life, a much larger amount of knowledge and much higher of capabilities are badly need to get involved in the firece competeion. The more knowledge and skills you abtain to arm yourself, the more competive you get yourself to surppot your family as well as yourself.

    Besides acquiring higher education, developing the skill of comunication is also crucial for people who want to be capable in the social life. Universities are places where one can directly get in touch with others with less barriers than that in the real outside society. Being in such a relative close surrounding, it is more easier to comunicate with others and get more imformation interpersonal relationships. Especially, if you join university activities, you could get a much deeper view of the interpersonal relationships amoung people of different charactors.

    One more necessity of attending universities I want to point out is that people can make enough preparation in universities for their entering the society as well as their career in the future. Universities are the special area between high schools and the society, and the time during universities are also the time between the youngs and the adults. During the period spent in universities, people can always get more matured and experience more, which makes huge sense for their future in society.

    As all reasons pointed out above, I think it is quite necessary to attend universities.

劳烦大家了～～ps：是严格按照30分钟计时的，所以.....弱点统统暴露，大家尽管指导吧～～～

connee

写的不错，结构很清晰，如果在第二段中加一两个例子是否会会更好一些。

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-5-19 15:31:41编辑过]

burningsky

这个这个...偶最头痛的就是举例了，本身没多少料是一方面，另一方面就是一举就变得极罗嗦....还烦指点下举例有什么技巧么？

pengstone

以下是引用burningsky在2005-5-19 7:29:00的发言：

1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, more and more people are thinking of and do attend universities for all kinds of reasons. As a student myself studying in the university at the moment, I think people should attend univesities to get a better, system education, to get prepared for entering society, and to develop the skill of comunication by making close friends.

    As far as I am concerned, one of the most important reasons to attend a universities is to get a higher education and abtain more system knowledge. As the development of almost all areas of social life, a much larger amount of knowledge and much higher of capabilities are badly need to get involved in the firece competeion. The more knowledge and skills you abtain to arm yourself, the more competive you get yourself to surppot your family as well as yourself.

    Besides acquiring higher education, developing the skill of comunication is also crucial for people who want to be capable in the social life. Universities are places where one can directly get in touch with others with less barriers than that in the real outside society. Being in such a relative close surrounding, it is more easier to comunicate with others and get more imformation interpersonal relationships. Especially, if you join university activities, you could get a much deeper view of the interpersonal relationships amoung people of different charactors.

    One more necessity of attending universities I want to point out is that people can make enough preparation in universities for their entering the society as well as their career in the future. Universities are the special area between high schools and the society, and the time during universities are also the time between the youngs and the adults. During the period spent in universities, people can always get more matured and experience more, which makes huge sense for their future in society.

    As all reasons pointed out above, I think it is quite necessary to attend universities.

劳烦大家了～～ps：是严格按照30分钟计时的，所以.....弱点统统暴露，大家尽管指导吧～～～

MM句式还可以，但语法错误和拼写错误较多，具体见划线处。另外，俺个人认为每个观点都最好有具体的例子，字数不用多，两三句就够了。

burningsky

z惭愧惭愧～～平时记单词都是眼过即过，一到具体拼写就全记不清了

一急就好多语法错误～

不知楼上gg能否给个举例的例子啊～一到这个我就晕～

pengstone

以下是引用burningsky在2005-5-19 23:28:00的发言：

z惭愧惭愧～～平时记单词都是眼过即过，一到具体拼写就全记不清了

一急就好多语法错误～

不知楼上gg能否给个举例的例子啊～一到这个我就晕～

举例其实不难，把自己生活中的经历和想法结合起来就很容易想到。当然也要考虑举的例子是否能被ETS理解。就这篇文章而言，例如在第三段中，MM只需将最后一句话中的activities说得更具体些，就是一个很好的例子。

burningsky

嗯嗯真是受益匪浅！

我还得融会贯通～

感谢大家指导哦～我还会继续写，在新的主题里发得，希望大家继续指导啊·

connee

鼓励 buiningsky

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-5-22 1:31:53编辑过]

burningsky

]

一起努力啊！

敬请关注更多twe帖子～

connee

burningsky,谢谢你能跟大家分享