twe182恳请修改和给分

lara54321

第一篇作文,自己有修改过,恳请大家帮忙再看看,给个分,心里好有点数

182

Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

There is a controversy recently about whether people have a close relationship with their pets and treat them as members of their family is good. Some people think having a close relationship with pets is good, but other people think this relationship has many disadvantages. In my option, I prefer the latter one. In the following discussion, I would like to reason and provide evidence to support my viewpoint.

The first reason for my view is that taking care of pets will take people long time and more energy. Nowadays, most people are busy in their work and life. Before they want to have a rest for a while after work, they need to pay attention to the pets. They have to prepare the food for them and take more time to clean the place where the pets live. They will feel tired when they take more time on pets after a whole day work.

The second reason is that animals have not emotion like people. They cannot understand what people think about. For example, when people feel happy, sad or surprised animals cannot share with them. They also cannot converse with people and give any suggestion if people need some help.

The third reason is that people will isolate their families when they spend a lot of time on pets. If they have a pet they will not have more time with their relations. It is very important that people between families converse each other and do something together. Otherwise, the relationship between families will be distant after long time.

On the other hand, I would say that some animals may cheer up people. Specially, an old person who does not have relations living with him will not feel lonely if he has a close pet. Actually, these senior people take care of them, feed them, and talk to them just like taking care of their own children.

Based on the reasons discussed above, I think that the disadvantages of having a close relationship with pets overweight the advantages. People should spend more time with their families and then they will get more benefits from family.

brace

以下是引用lara54321在2005-5-3 0:27:00的发言：

第一篇作文,自己有修改过,恳请大家帮忙再看看,给个分,心里好有点数

182

Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

There is a controversy recently about whether people have a close relationship with their pets and treat them as members of their family is good. Some people think having a close relationship with pets is good, but other people think this relationship has many disadvantages. In my option, I prefer the latter one. In the following discussion, I would like to reason and provide evidence to support my viewpoint.

The first reason for my view is that taking care of pets will take people long time and more energy. Nowadays, most people are busy in their work and life. Before they want to have a rest for a while after work, they need to pay attention to the pets. They have to prepare the food for them and take more time to clean the place where the pets live. They will feel tired when they take more time on pets after a whole day work.

The second reason is that animals have not emotion like people. They cannot understand what people think about. For example, when people feel happy, sad or surprised animals cannot share with them. They also cannot converse with people and give any suggestion if people need some help.

The third reason is that people will isolate their families when they spend a lot of time on pets. If they have a pet they will not have more time with their relations. It is very important that people between families converse each other and do something together. Otherwise, the relationship between families will be distant after long time.

On the other hand, I would say that some animals may cheer up people. Specially, an old person who does not have relations living with him will not feel lonely if he has a close pet. Actually, these senior people take care of them, feed them, and talk to them just like taking care of their own children.

Based on the reasons discussed above, I think that the disadvantages of having a close relationship with pets overweight the advantages. People should spend more time with their families and then they will get more benefits from family.

我觉得， 4。5－5。5吧。

不要用the first reason, the second ...死板了点。

lara54321

多谢,有点数了,不过4.5-5.5跨度还嘛大呀?

能不能再帮忙看看语法问题?据说机考时电脑自动反应语法错误,还会在给分数范围时直接扣掉,那就有点恐怖了,好像很难保证一点语法错误都没有吧.

pengstone

俺觉得第二、三段再充实点更好，５分应该有的。