2月11号独立写作，麻烦高手批改一下吧！谢谢

woshimind

we believe students should do part-time jobs while we are attending university.
First and foremost, we would learn time management skills by taking part-time jobs and can spend my time more wisely. Time is money. The stress of study force me work harder and more efficient while we are doing part-time jobs. A director of internation students office in the Oxford University spoke that you should make a balence between your courses and jobs and students have sufficient time both to keep up with the academic demands of their course and to give themselves time out to take advantage of the social opportunities available inside and outside of the University.
In addition, value of money can be shaped by taking part-time jobs. We might learn the importance of earning money by having part-time jobs. For example. We wouldn’t spend money on some unnecessities such as brand clothe and brand watch and we may naturally have a financial impact when we make day-to-day choices especially when we get our first compensation. We could more understand we donnot automatically have disposable income and that comes from hard work.
Moreover, students can pay part of their living cost and relieve parent’s burden by doing part-time jobs. It will be contribute to living cost and tution  greatly, which can help ourselves out under the economic crisis. We might learn to keep a budget of our own and save a lot of money by the time we graduate from the university, which should end up being a great contribution for our future.
However, we cannot deny the fact that it will lead some students to failure in final examinations and poor health due to excess of works. Take a friend of mine for example. She, spending nearly four hours on the way, once skipped three classes to meet her boss. When she came back,she was worn out with insignificant information taken from her boss. It was in vain. It must influence their study to some extent. We students, anything we do is nothing more important to study.
 Obviously, nothing is perfect. We should do part-time jobs while we are attending university.

Saku411

这个题目什么来头啊 怎么大家都在写都在批