以下是引用yumihooo在2007-7-8 9:55:00的发言：Facing the aim of both increasing(对于profit一般用boost会更形象生动一些) the profit and improving the competitiveness of our company, a dilemma that whether an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary should be hired are(既然前面用的是a dilemma，所以这里要用单数) often presented to the employer. I believed(为什么要用过去时？难道现在不believe了？^_^), comparing both the pros and cons of them, an inexperienced worker at lower salary should be preferred.
To begin with, to control cost is the first financial principle to every enterprise. Most work in the company can be finished by the people after simple training in fact, and only rarely few positions need the workers with strong backgrounds and relative experiences.(不错啊，但是有些词前面不用the) To choose the worker at the lower salary is an immediate means to reduce human resource cost and increase the profit. One apt illustration of this point involves the part-time job plan championed by McDonald’s. This company employs many inexperienced part-time workers and controls their cost effectively, and thus they can support the cheap food all the world.
Further more, experienced workers do not mean that they would have a better performance than inexperienced ones. Accordingly, I concede that experienced workers usually are(are usually) more family(familiar？) with their job, and thus they can assume their duty professionally more swiftly. Yet, inexperienced workers may finish their work much better after training, either for their passion to new job, or due to their plasticity in new situation. Facts witness and present many examples. GE, Google, Microsoft and other famous companies emphasize their recruitment on campus hiring, just for the purpose of find(finding) totally fresh "blood".
In addition, on the notion of "experienced" lies my third argument. A successful company should put right person in right position, but the experienced workers are not necessarily the suitable people. Their experience often formed from their job before(former job), which inevitably has a considerable distance with their new duties. Besides, this argument leads inexorably to the company's management system that this brief essay cannot begin to address.
Admittedly, experienced workers are somewhat challenging as well because of both their strong backgrounds and sufficient understandings. However, given the realistic profit consideration of the company, that inexperienced worker, I still prefer.
Advices:
1。你的写作水平很不错，用词也很好。但是我觉得在真正考试的时候不要用那么多的副词来修饰，2～3个足以起到画龙点睛的作用。当然这是练习，你可以多用一些来熟悉用法：） 2。有些用词还欠准确，但是能看懂。因为楼主水平很高了，作文结构也不错，所以可以考虑一下多注意用词。Attention!不是用大词，而是用准确的词。（比如可以用expense, revenue等等） 3。定冠词the不是随便就可以加的。当你不确定的时候千万别加，因为不加肯定不会错。现在美国有一种趋势就是省略the，因为the有时出现在一句话里太多了会很awkward，你也知道，美国人很懒的，所以能省就省。但我绝对不是提倡所有的都不加the。 4。是否可以考虑结尾段再充实一点？个人感觉有点草草收尾了。 谢谢！！！！！！！！！！ 太感谢了，呵呵~~~~~~~~~~ | 
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发表于 2007-7-9 20:30:00
