ChaseDream
搜索
返回列表 发新帖
楼主: watershed
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[备考日记] [原创]30天冲刺托福!141楼,分数。

[精华] [复制链接]
41#
发表于 2007-7-3 21:53:00 | 只看该作者

原来watershed的MM在国外啊,呵呵,那肯定是要陪的啦

不过为了早日和MM团聚,还是不要中断了学习哦!

可以和MM一起讨论下如何对付IBT,嘻嘻

我今天也终于完成了生平第一篇托福作文,还从德克的猪那里学到了不少,很高兴,也很有成就感,呵呵,是不是太容易满足了!

我们一起努力哦

42#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-3 21:58:00 | 只看该作者

yaya看来一直是我的日记忠实支持者

我看了你的作文,确实写的不错,学习中……

还有,我几个同学上个月的成绩都下来了

大家讨论了一下,觉得iBT的关键还是听力

43#
发表于 2007-7-3 22:02:00 | 只看该作者

呵呵,偶是你的FANS!

大家一起复习感觉很好呢!

其实我也觉得听力很重要,除了阅读,其它三个部分都覆盖到了,

刚开始复习的时候还计划天天都要坚持听的,结果很惭愧,该听的都没听完,

现在也只能尽力而为了!

44#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-3 22:05:00 | 只看该作者

我也是!!!

45#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-5 00:08:00 | 只看该作者

今天堕落了

明天还要去机场接机

准备了mp3,希望能听。

46#
发表于 2007-7-5 10:03:00 | 只看该作者

不要紧的,现在不要总怪自己这也没做那也没做,

要看到自己做了什么,要不然会自乱阵脚的哦,呵呵

47#
发表于 2007-7-5 22:35:00 | 只看该作者

看来watershed今天应该不会来了哦,

可以理解啦,呵呵

我今天不舒服也几乎没复习,

离考试越来越近,

心里也越来越没底了。

 

48#
发表于 2007-7-7 23:57:00 | 只看该作者

呵呵,看来是陪MM去了。

我今天也去玩了,跟着GG公司的同事一起去漂流了。

明天一定要好好学习啦!

49#
发表于 2007-7-8 09:55:00 | 只看该作者
Facing the aim of both increasing(对于profit一般用boost会更形象生动一些) the profit and improving the competitiveness of our company, a dilemma that whether an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary should be hired are(既然前面用的是a dilemma,所以这里要用单数) often presented to the employer. I believed(为什么要用过去时?难道现在不believe了?^_^), comparing both the pros and cons of them, an inexperienced worker at lower salary should be preferred.

To begin with, to control cost is the first financial principle to every enterprise. Most work in the company can be finished by the people after simple training in fact, and only rarely few positions need the workers with strong backgrounds and relative experiences.(不错啊,但是有些词前面不用the) To choose the worker at the lower salary is an immediate means to reduce human resource cost and increase the profit. One apt illustration of this point involves the part-time job plan championed by McDonald’s. This company employs many inexperienced part-time workers and controls their cost effectively, and thus they can support the cheap food all the world.

Further more, experienced workers do not mean that they would have a better performance than inexperienced ones. Accordingly, I concede that experienced workers usually are(are usually) more family(familiar?) with their job, and thus they can assume their duty professionally more swiftly. Yet, inexperienced workers may finish their work much better after training, either for their passion to new job, or due to their plasticity in new situation. Facts witness and present many examples. GE, Google, Microsoft and other famous companies emphasize their recruitment on campus hiring, just for the purpose of find(finding) totally fresh "blood".

In addition, on the notion of "experienced" lies my third argument. A successful company should put right person in right position, but the experienced workers are not necessarily the suitable people. Their experience often formed from their job before(former job), which inevitably has a considerable distance with their new duties. Besides, this argument leads inexorably to the company's management system that this brief essay cannot begin to address.

Admittedly, experienced workers are somewhat challenging as well because of both their strong backgrounds and sufficient understandings. However, given the realistic profit consideration of the company, that inexperienced worker, I still prefer.


Advices:

1。你的写作水平很不错,用词也很好。但是我觉得在真正考试的时候不要用那么多的副词来修饰,2~3个足以起到画龙点睛的作用。当然这是练习,你可以多用一些来熟悉用法:)
2。有些用词还欠准确,但是能看懂。因为楼主水平很高了,作文结构也不错,所以可以考虑一下多注意用词。Attention!不是用大词,而是用准确的词。(比如可以用expense, revenue等等)
3。定冠词the不是随便就可以加的。当你不确定的时候千万别加,因为不加肯定不会错。现在美国有一种趋势就是省略the,因为the有时出现在一句话里太多了会很awkward,你也知道,美国人很懒的,所以能省就省。但我绝对不是提倡所有的都不加the。
4。是否可以考虑结尾段再充实一点?个人感觉有点草草收尾了。

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-8 10:00:13编辑过]
50#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-9 18:54:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用yaya322在2007-7-7 23:57:00的发言:

呵呵,看来是陪MM去了。

我今天也去玩了,跟着GG公司的同事一起去漂流了。

明天一定要好好学习啦!

yaya 堕落了好久

我要回归了!

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

Mark一下! 看一下! 顶楼主! 感谢分享! 快速回复:

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

近期活动

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

手机版|ChaseDream|GMT+8, 2024-5-16 05:53
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号

ChaseDream 论坛

© 2003-2023 ChaseDream.com. All Rights Reserved.

返回顶部