作文修改,flyakite同学请进

德克的猪

呵呵，很凑巧，我的第一篇文章也是这个,然后我也发上来请帮我改一下，谢谢.

It has always been my belief(很好很好,用一个名词代替了动词,我也认为:能用含名词的词组表示动作就绝对不用一个单独的动词) that being a teacher is one of the noblest(noble的意思是unselfish and morally good,在这里用得很好) professions a person(这里就用一个one也可以) could choose. Even though many people may tend to categorize teachers as ordinary people who only deserve plain wages, I strongly advocate that teachers should be paid as much as physicians(physician有点old-fashioned,还是就用doctor吧), lawyers, and business leaders. (第一段用词准确,表意清晰,句式比较丰富,没有什么好改的)

First of all(For one thing或者as no doubt), educators have always(鉴于你前面有一个always,这里我建议用invariably) played a significant(如果强调极端重要的话,用crucial也不错) role in society. They act as a vital medium－the transfer of knowledge from one generation to the next. Teachers convey knowledge so selflessly from themselves to countless numbers of students(就用countless students就可以了), which often has a positive impact on their lives, and leads them to better themselves and society as a whole. From this standpoint, teachers have contributed just as much as lawyers, doctors, and the financial leaders of the world, if not more so. For this alone they should receive a wage worthy of their sacrifice(我还是建议不要把<牺牲>和<贡献>这两个意思等同). (这段还是写得很好呀,没有什么好改的)

In addition to this(To such a paramount reason, another must be added,这个的意思和in addition是一样的,但是长很多,而且高级一些,被使用的平率也很低), becoming a teacher, especially a competent educator, requires a lot of effort and patience. If you(我一直都建议用one代替you,这是因为中英文的差异) wants to be an excellent teacher, not only should you(s/he) gain sufficient knowledge in the specific area you(s/he) are(is going to teach) teaching, you(s/he) should (also) learn and practice a good teaching methodology which can be successfully applied to your(his/her) class. Good teaching methodology requires a combination of knowledge and the way of presenting and disseminating it. What's(What is) more, it is crucial for teachers to be aware(be aware一般都是要加of在后面的) that students with
        different interests or levels of comprehension may react differently to the materials a teacher presents so sometimes teachers need to reevaluate their methods over and over again for the(a) better understanding of their students. (依旧写得很好,只是最好不要用you来表示人,而是用one)

Last but not least, being a good teacher means that you have to sacrifice a lot of personal time. For example a teacher might spend extra time tutoring students even after class has ended. Therefore, I think(这里也可以用Hence my perspective- 来替代,这样就可以避免写I think了) they need to be compensated via higher wages.

It's(It is) the teachers who have brought us through the gates of the hall of knowledge; It's(It is) the teachers who have encouraged us to realize and pursue our personal goals. Their spirit should be commended, and their act should be awarded. Combining all those reasons, I unequivocally advocate(advocate重复了,用uphold吧) that teachers should be paid as much as doctors, lawyers, and business leaders

(很有希望得5分的作文,实在没有什么可以大改动的.词汇丰富,准确;句子结构也很好.只有一些minor mistakes,不影响作文整体给阅卷人的好印象)