[原创]ZS(武汉4.21)109分，太高兴了

zs198413

刚才做了一下DELT1.8就是插入句子，狂错，真是很郁闷

zs198413

第一篇作文，粗粗地改了一下，汗哪，真是拿不出手，不过还是希望jojo稍微指导一下，给个评价也可以，看来这一个月真是任重道远啊！

Do you  agree or disagree with the following statement ? A person's childhood years are the most important years of a person's life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

Which is the most significant stage in one’s whole life? The answer differs from person to person. Adolescent is one of the most convincible answers, nevertheless, in my opinion it is one’s childhood that plays an important role in one's future development. Following are the reasons offered to support my point of view.

 

All knows it that "It is never too old to learn", however, I also like to say that “It is ever too young to learn”. Childhood is best time for us to learn language, science subjects, and musical instrument, that is why parents attach so much emphasis children's education. They try every means to ensure good education of their children. In order to get the entrance to Key elementary school, one of my relatives even donated forty thousand RMB. They said that children’s education is the foundation of a promising future.

 

What's more, one forms his/her outlook on life that affects our whole life. I learned that the world is so beautiful when they took me to Zhongshan parrk to a flower exhibit. I understood that it is a shame to lie when talked with my father after lied for not breaking the vase. I knew that communication is much more effective than a fight when punished by my teacher for fighting with a classmate for some misunderstandings. My childhood makes me a kind, honest and diligent person.

 

The attitude toward and the ability to overcome difficulties are also gained in one’s childhood which contribute a lot to one’s optimistic attitude toward life. Myself is a good case in point. Once I was chosen to take a math’s competition, however, I was the mediocre one among those competitors. Frustrated by not getting high score in exams, I am tired of learning. Fortunately, I finally realized that it is no use complaining all day, put more time on study is a better way to solve the problem

 

Although adolescent also plays an important role for one’s future development, taking account of all these factors, we may safely draw the conclusion it is advisable for us to attach much more importance to children’s education for it is the best stage to learn and the crucial time to cultivate a good habit.

lxzjojo

以下是引用zs198413在2007-3-8 22:03:00的发言：

第一篇作文，粗粗地改了一下，汗哪，真是拿不出手，不过还是希望jojo稍微指导一下，给个评价也可以，看来这一个月真是任重道远啊！

Do you  agree or disagree with the following statement ? A person's childhood years are the most important years of a person's life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

Which is the most significant stage in one’s whole life? The answer differs from person to person. Adolescent is one of the most convincible answers, nevertheless, in my opinion it is one’s childhood that plays an important role in one's future development. Following are the reasons offered to support my point of view.

开头的设问提得很好，但后面可以再生动些，比如略略说一些童年的趣事和对你的一些不可磨灭的印象和影响来引起读者的兴趣。 

All knows it that "It is never too old to learn", however, I also like to say that “It is ever too young to learn”. Childhood is best time for us to learn language, science subjects, and musical instrument, that is why parents attach so much emphasis children's education. They try every means to ensure good education of their children. In order to get the entrance to Key elementary school, one of my relatives even donated forty thousand RMB. They said that children’s education is the foundation of a promising future.

 

这段可以将最后那个例子说得具体些，如果怕头重脚轻，该段前面general的介绍部分可以省掉一些或者尝试融入你所陈述的事例中。

What's more, one forms his/her outlook on life that affects our whole life. I learned that the world is so beautiful when they took me to Zhongshan parrk to a flower exhibit. I understood that it is a shame to lie when talked with my father after lied for not breaking the vase. I knew that communication is much more effective than a fight when punished by my teacher for fighting with a classmate for some misunderstandings. My childhood makes me a kind, honest and diligent person.

这段的构思相当不错，通过童年一些事情对你的影响来证明童年时光的重要性。

但请注意你的一些措辞例如“I learned that the world is so beautiful when they
                        took me...”和一些细节的语法问题如"I understood that it
                            is a shame to lie"等等，我是评分老师的话，看到这些属于比较明显的错误时，会立马感觉对文章兴趣锐减的，考试时一定要注意。 

The attitude toward and the ability to overcome difficulties are also gained in one’s childhood which contribute a lot to one’s optimistic attitude toward life. Myself is a good case in point. Once I was chosen to take a math’s competition, however, I was the mediocre one among those competitors. Frustrated by not getting high score in exams, I am tired of learning. Fortunately, I finally realized that it is no use complaining all day, put more time on study is a better way to solve the problem

这段的例子举得不错，但again,你的一些表达不够清楚，让人看了一遍有点不知所云。比如这句“Once I was chosen to take a math’s competition, however, I was the mediocre one among those competitors.” 我就是再看了一次才明白你是想说小时候发生的一件事情对你人生态度的影响。这些已经不仅仅是细节了，会影响评分者对你语言驾驭能力的评价。

Although adolescent also plays an important role for one’s future development, taking account of all these factors, we may safely draw the conclusion it is advisable for us to attach much more importance to children’s education for it is the best stage to learn and the crucial time to cultivate a good habit.

这样的结尾OK。

整体感觉，你的文章构思不错，基本没有套用那种生硬的模板，这点相当好。但是请务必注意我上面一再强调的一细“细节”问题，事实上，你细心检查一次，会发现这些所谓minor的语法错误、时态错误等等出现的次数还真的不少，会影响评分者的总体印象，自然也会影响分数，注意注意~~

zs198413

再一次感谢jojo姐的辛勤劳动，我回按照你说的把我的作文好好改改，

我不是故意不用模版，而是还没有整理好自己的模版，我看了Budlite 6分心得真的好羡慕，他说开头，结尾，正一，反一都可以套用模版，真正写的只有正二，我想我是不是也应该好好总结自己的模板，因为多年不写作文，词汇极其贫乏，考场临时发挥肯定不行，不知道这样行不行，还有老是听人家说有什么万能例子，什么人性啊，可是我还是不是很理解，万能例子真的那么有用吗，我是不是也要准备许多万能例子呢？

还有现在报告一下早上的学习进展，今天早上做了barrons 的第七套模考题的阅读和听力，阅读，阅读39题错了六个，早上去的时候实验室很吵，心有点静不下来，第一篇在20分钟内完成，第二，三篇时间有点小不够（中间还被老板打扰了一下），听力51题错了七个，倒数第二篇时差点睡了过去，还好把最后一篇坚持下来了，但是最后一篇错了不少。

准备下午的时候搞搞小作文的模版，也写一篇小作文

zs198413

这是OG里面的practice里的题，差异还是很好找的，只是语言不会用，不会用词去替换原文的词，只有43天了，着急啊，作文真的不知道怎么弄

In the lecture the professor tells us that all creatures are selfish which greatly contradicted the passage takes meerkats and human beings as good examples of self-sacrifice.

 

First, the professors said that the sentinel meerkats have the priority to enjoy food before standing guard, which not comply with what the text tells us that they give up the chance of eating for the security of the whole group. Then the professor extended on saying that standing guard around burrows can largely increase the probability of survival when a predator comes considering that they can run into the burrows to protect themselves and then give off the signal. What's more, by hearing the signal, other meerkats are likely to flee away or get together which can attract the predators attention, thus the sentinel meerkats may be safer hidden in burrows.

 

Then the professor related to the donation of organs. In his opinion, those donators may get high approval from society and a feeling of self- worth which, in donator’s heart may exceed the pain of donating an organ.

 

To sum up, as far as the professor concerned, all creatures offer some seemly sacrifices, bur conceal their true motives. In fact, they may get more benefit compared with what they did.

zs198413

In the lecture the professor tells us that all creatures are selfish which greatly contradicted the passage in which meerkats and human beings are good examples of self-sacrifice.

不好意思第一句有误在此改过

zs198413

今天把昨天的阅读错的重新做了一遍。除了一个题答案都是对的。特别是两篇的最后一题，可能是 在局的时候比较迷吧

zs198413

这两天实在没有什么大的进展，一直在准备口语的模板，今天晚上准备把词汇书上的31到50单元复习一遍，还有希望jojo姐姐能够回答一下34楼的关于作文模版的问题，先谢过了，这么多天只有你一直关注偶的帖子，现在武大的樱花开了，明年欢迎你来武大看樱花，我一定全力接待。接下来的十一天非常关键，一定好好利用好这十一天。

parapluie

hoho...加油加油...

lz一定能成功的：）

zs198413

谢谢parapluie的祝福，今天没有干什么实质性的东西，帮同学翻译了一篇文章，上了一堂专业英语的课，接待了一位考研的同学，打了40分钟的羽毛球，接下来9点20到十点准备写一篇作文，谢谢大家的关心，我一定回努力的