twe175,请各位高手帮帮忙了

katherine8110

Some students like classes where teachers lecture ( do all of the talking) in class. Other students prefer classes where the students do some of the talking. Which type of class do you prefer? Give specific reasons and details to support you choice.

When it comes to the issue as to which kind of classes do you prefer, classes where only teachers lecture all the time or classes where the students can do some of the talking, according to personal personality and fondness, different people give various responses. As far as I am concerned, I would choose the latter. In this article, I will elaborate my reasons as follows.

Of all the reasons, the most pertinent reason that I would like to present relies in the fact that people are more readily to learn knowledge when they are at the cooperative atmosphere. When given the chance to present their own opinions, students feel that they are important people whose argument worth considering. Therefore, they are more likely to communicate than in the classes where only teachers lecture.

The second reason is that a little talking in the class will help students foster some valuable personality traits such as sense of responsibility, teamwork spirit, and independence. When a student was allowed to say his or her own ideal, he or she should rethink what she or he will say. After his or her opinion was shown, she may receive countless conflicting ideas. During the combat, he or she should fight for his or her argument. All of these actions will cultivate good characters. By comparison, students in the classes where only teachers lecture feel so boring and dozy, for they just listen and make no reply.  

Giving opportunity to students not only greatly inspires students but also makes teacher’s job easier. After 30 minutes talking, teachers may feel very tired and thirsty, students may have some questions in their head. So leaving 10 to 15 minutes to students can solve the puzzle in students minds. During this time, teachers can have a good rest too.

All in all, taking into the above mentioned reasons, I definitely hold the idea that classes with students talking is better than classes with only teachers lecturing. Not only it benefits the students but also help teachers’ work easier.

请问大概有几分了,谢谢

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-1-9 13:31:12编辑过]

hncsxj

以下是引用katherine8110在2005-1-9 13:28:00的发言：

Some students like classes where teachers lecture ( do all of the talking) in class. Other students prefer classes where the students do some of the talking. Which type of class do you prefer? Give specific reasons and details to support you choice.

When it comes to the issue as to which kind of classes do you prefer, classes where only teachers lecture all the time or classes where the students can do some of the talking, according to personal personality and fondness, different people give various responses.（句子拖沓，改一下。复杂句不能为复杂而复杂，否则读起来别扭，不流畅） As far as I am concerned, I would choose the latter. In this article, I will elaborate my reasons as follows.

Of all the reasons, the most pertinent reason that I would like to present relies in the fact that people are more readily to learn knowledge when they are at the cooperative atmosphere. When given the chance to present their own opinions, students feel that they are important people whose argument worth considering. Therefore, they are more likely to communicate than in the classes where only teachers lecture.（后面加个例子就更好了）

The second reason is that a little talking in the class will help students foster some valuable personality traits such as sense of responsibility, teamwork spirit, and independence. When a student was is allowed to say（express) his or her own ideal, he or she should rethink what she or he will say.(就he吧，he or she用多了也不好。你可以自己读几遍体会一下） After his or her opinion was shown, she may receive countless conflicting ideas. During the combat, he or she should fight for his or her argument. All of these actions will cultivate good characters. By comparison, (On the contrary 强烈点）students in the classes where only teachers lecture feel so boring and dozy, for they just listen and make no reply.  

Giving opportunityopportunities to students not only greatly inspires students but also makes teacher’s job easier. After 30 minutes talking, teachers may feel very tired and thirsty, and students may have some questions as well in their head. SoTherefore(书面点） leaving 10 to 15 minutes to students can solve the puzzle in students minds. During this time, teachers can have a good rest too.

All in all, taking into the above mentioned reasons, I definitely hold the idea that classes with students talking is better than classes with only teachers lecturing. Not only it benefits the students but also help teachers’ work easier.

请问大概有几分了,谢谢

4.75

1)第一段写好点。可以多挑几个题目，就练第一段。

2)有些词汇再变化点，比如这篇文章可以用到的词：communication, one-way communication, interact; instructors, professors; boys and girls;active;你可以将这些词在你的文章里面替换一下。如果你做了我会很开心的

3）连词尽量多用。

4）有些地方要用代词替代名词或句子可以是你的语言精炼。those,that, it, them, one/ones。指代名词容易，指代一种情况，一个句子要难点

5)有些表达似乎有点中国化：in their head->in their minds

一天一篇，30min写，30-60min改，一周后稳5分

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-1-10 6:06:30编辑过]

brace

hncsxj改得真是认真。

katherine8110

谢谢hncszj斑竹, 我会加油的,你的建议非常中肯,benefit me a lot,还请以后多多关照啊