haduni的作文贴

haduni

贵在坚持

haduni

09-04 独立写作
Agree/disagree：an efficient leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a decision making.


Nowadays, we are living in a world where everyone holds the desperate desire for being a Hero. No matter the Nation basketball team captain Kobe or the Father of Apple company Jobs, they are admired even worshiped by many youth, and thus the leadership have been considered more significant than ever before. An increasing number of people believe that an efficient leader will show his existence at any time. However, In my opinion, I believe that it is not necessary for a leader to tell everyone that he is the big brother, I bolster my statement for the following reasons.

First, let's talk about the define of the "efficient leader ", I believe that the one who can help the team function well is the efficient leader no matter whether or not everyone know who is in charge. Furthermore, it is impossible for everyone to know who is the leader under certain circumstance. For example, in many international companies, the labor workers in China have no chance to know the CEO who delivers his order in US. What's more, I believe that an efficient leader should focus on the leadership, that is, dedicate his energy into solving tough problem instead of his sense of fulfillment.

Moreover, in some economic and political activities, one side can gain a competitive edge if they know the leader of their opposers but their opposers does not. What is the worst thing you can imagine in a battle? It is that you do not know who is your enemy instead of having a superpower enemy. As the old saying goes" You can win any war if you know your enemy exactly before the war", for the leader is the most important one in a team, if your enemies do not know who is making decision, they can neither predict your next step. Then you may gain a better chance to win.

Admittedly, we should not be blind to that the unity of the team can be enforced if the team member all respect and keep in mind their powerful leader. They will try their best to guard the proud of their team. However, the team unity cannot overweight the benefit listed above.

In conclusion, though the team spirit brought by the leadership in every member’s mind cannot be denied, a silent but hardworking leader is desired more because the limited time should be spent in the decision making instead of publishing and the silence can help the team to win.

haduni

09-04 综合写作


The reading passage mainly discusses about the advantages of using hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine as the substitute for the internal-combustion engine. However, the lecturer casts doubts on the writer’s view by using several points.
First, it is said in the reading that the hydrogen is the easily available and renewable resources while we will use up the petroleum; On the contrary, the listening argues that although hydrogen can be generated form water but the process can be really difficult, the temperature needs to be lowered to a very cold point and the pure liquid hydrogen is quite difficult to store; this is where the speaker disagrees with the writer.
Moreover, the writer points out that the fuel-cell engine can solve the pollution problem; The speaker on the other hand, states that although the fuel-cell cars do not generate pollutions, the process of generating hydrogen needs more power and produce more pollutions; This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.
Finally, the passage raises the issue that fuel-cell engines are much cheaper than the internal-combustion engines; However, the professor asserts that there is rare metal which is quite dear in the fuel-cell engines, and the cheap substitute for the metal haven't found yet; this is entirely opposed to the writer’s expectation.
In conclusion, the professor precisely identifies the weakness in the reading passage and forcefully proves that the main argument in the reading, that is, the fuel-cell will soon replace the internal-combustion engine is incorrect.

fuzhengrui

The reading passage mainly discusses about the advantages of using hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine as the substitute for the internal-combustion engine. However, the lecturer casts doubts on the writer’s view by using several points(for the following reasons可能更好）.
First, it is said in the reading that the hydrogen is the easily available and renewable resources while we will use up the petroleum; On the contrary, the listening argues that although hydrogen can be generated form water but the process can be really difficult, （这个地方要么加连词，要么把之前的逗号改成句号）the temperature needs to be lowered to a very cold point and the pure liquid hydrogen is quite difficult to store; （this is where the speaker disagrees with the writer.这句话可以删去，前面的on the contrary已经有这个意思了）
Moreover, the writer points out that the fuel-cell engine can solve the pollution problem; The speaker on the other hand, states that although the fuel-cell cars do not generate pollutions, the process of generating hydrogen needs more power and produce more pollutions; This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.
Finally, the passage raises the issue that fuel-cell engines are much cheaper than the internal-combustion engines; However, the professor asserts that there is rare metal which is quite dear in the fuel-cell engines, and the cheap substitute for the metal haven't found yet; this is entirely opposed to the writer’s expectation.
In conclusion, the professor precisely identifies the weakness in the reading passage and forcefully proves that the main argument in the reading, that is, the fuel-cell will soon replace the internal-combustion engine is incorrect.

这篇综合写作写的很好，基本上没有错误，要点也比较完整，是我看过的综合写作里面最好的一篇^_^

safeandsound

批改见附件
【意见仅供参考哦~~

haduni

09-09 haduni Integrated writing

In the reading passage, the writer mainly talks about the advantage of salvage logging. However, the lecturer casts doubts on the view of the writer for the following reasons.
First, it is said in the reading that removing the dead trees can give new trees the room to grow. On the contrary, the listening argues that the natural process of wood decomposition is necessary to enrich the soil, salvage logging will result in soil lack of nutrients for new generation to grow. This is where the speaker disagrees with the writer.
Second, the writer points out that dead tree provide the harmful insects with habitats, as a result the population of the insects will increase. The speaker on the other hand, states that dead tree will also offer habitats for birds and other insects which is important for the whole forest. Salvage logging might cause more harmful damage than insects in a long term.
Third, the reading raise the issue that salvage logging can provide wood for the industries and it can create new job opportunities for the local residents. However, the professor asserts that the economic benefits are small, sometimes helicopters or other expensive vehicles should be used to get those woods. AS for the jobs, they are only temporary, and there are many outsiders with more experience and training competing with the local residents. This is entirely opposed to the writer's expectation.
In conclusion, the lecturer precisely identifies the weakness of the reading and forcefully prove that the argument of the reading is incorrect.

haduni

9-9 Independent Writing

With the highly development of the modern society, the living standard have improved significantly. People are paying more attention on pursuing the true happiness in their lives. Some people choose to live in the rural areas because of the enjoyable circumstance and the slow life pace, they assert that they can take better care of their families compared with people living in urban areas. However, I cast doubts on this point of view for the flowing reason.

Let's talk about children in one's family first: the education issue is no doubt the first thing we should consider about. To take good care of the children is to provide them with education as good as possible. What’s more, children are the future of the society, and only the education can ensure those little boys and girls a brilliant future. The aim of education is to help the children fully develop their talent. No one will deny the fact that the educational resource in city is somehow superior to that in rural areas: In cities, youth can go to the quiet and bright libraries and lose their mind in the ocean of countless books, or they can walk through all kinds of museums to feel the sense of history and to witness the rise of great nations. So I believe that please stay in cities for your kids.

Then, let's come to adults, the middle-age are bearing the burden of the society. They have to make money to feed their families. Thus, they desire more opportunities to promote and more chance to improve their work environment and get more salary. Compared with the unchangeable rural lives, the cities can surly offer more exciting possibilities. Similarly, the adults in city can get more achievement thus have relatively high sense of fulfillment. Besides the working advantage, the cities have all kinds of recreation for adults to relax. It is quite common for white-collar to relieve their work pressure in a bar. Adults should seize the time to experience the world, that is, to taste all kinds of life style. That is an old saying "Life is like a boat, the passages should see more part of the world", then the city can open your outlook.

Moreover, there are more public utilities available in big cities like hospitals or drug stores, for many elderly, they choose to live in cities for sake of health. The elderly are more like to be exposed to illness, they might get into emergency at any time. Thus, only the well-developed medical system in cities can cope with this tough problem. If the aged people get severe illness in rural areas, they must be transited to the advanced cities where hospital locals, this will consume the precious time which should have been used to rescue their lives.

Form the discussion above, for your family members of all ages, if you want to take better care of them, please move to cities.

E月羽

9月9号综合修改


In the reading passage, the writer mainly talks about the advantage of salvage logging. However, the lecturer casts doubts on the view of the writer for the following reasons.
First, it is said in the reading that removing the dead trees can give new trees the room to grow. On the contrary, the listening argues that the natural process of wood decomposition is necessary to enrich the soil,(; 可能比较好) salvage logging will result in（result in the lack of nutrition of soil 比较好，而且nutrient 表营品，而且不可数） soil lack of nutrients for new generation to grow. This is where the speaker disagrees with the writer.
Second, the writer points out that dead tree provide the harmful（trees would be harmful to） insects with habitats, as a result the population of the insects will increase. The speaker on the other hand, states that dead tree will also offer habitats for birds and other insects which is important for the whole forest. Salvage logging might cause more harmful damage than insects in a long term.
Third, the reading raise (raises) the issue that salvage logging can provide wood for the industries and it can (itcan可以不要) create new job opportunities for the local residents. However, the professor asserts that the economic benefits are small, sometimes helicopters or other expensive vehicles should be used to get those woods. AS(As) for the jobs, they are only temporary, and there are many outsiders with more experience and training competing with the local residents. This is entirely opposed to the writer's expectation.
In conclusion, the lecturer precisely identifies the weakness of the reading and forcefully prove that the argument of the reading is incorrect.

E月羽

独立写作批改

With the highly development of the modern society, the living standard have improved significantly. People are paying more attention on pursuing the true happiness in their lives. Some people choose to live in the rural areas because of the enjoyable circumstance and the slow life pace, (;)they assert that they can take better care of their families compared with people living in urban areas. However, I cast doubts on this point of view for the flowing reason.

Let's talk about children in one's family first: the education issue is no doubt the first thing we should consider about. To take good care of the children is to provide them with education as good as possible. What’s more, children are the future of the society, and only the education can ensure those little boys and girls a brilliant future(the abriiliant future of little boys and girls). The aim of education is to help the children fully develop their talent.(感觉有点多余) No one will deny the fact that the educational resource in city is somehow superior to that in rural areas: In cities, the youth can go to the quiet and bright libraries and lose their mind in the ocean of countless books, or they can walk through all kinds of museums to feel the sense of history and to witness the rise of great nations. So I believe that please stay in cities for your kids.

Then, let's come to adults, the middle-age are bearing the burden of the society. They have to make money to feed their families. Thus, they desire more opportunities to promote and more chance to improve their work environment and get more salary. Compared with the unchangeable rural lives, the cities can surly offer more exciting possibilities. Similarly, the adults in city can get more achievement thus have relatively high sense(senses) of fulfillment. Besides the working advantage, the cities have all kinds of recreation for adults to relax. It is quite common for white-collar to relieve their work pressure in a bar. Adults should seize the time to experience the world(直接说experience the world 即可), that is, to taste all kinds of life style. That is an old saying "Life is like a boat, the passages should see more part of the world", then the city can open your outlook.

Moreover, there are more public utilities available in big cities like hospitals or drug stores, for many elderly, they choose to live in cities for sake of （for the sake of）health. The elderly are more like to be exposed to illness, they might get into emergency at any time. Thus, only the well-developed medical system in cities can cope with this tough problem. If the aged people get(got) severe illness in rural areas, they must be transited to the advanced cities where hospital locals, this will(would) consume the precious time which should have been used to rescue their lives.


评价：

1，感觉论证有点罗嗦，逻辑不是特别清晰

2，句式还是太少

haduni

9.12 综合

综合
The reading passage is mainly talking about the decreasing bird number because of the increasing population of human beings. However, the lecturer casts doubts on the view of the writer for the following reasons.

First, it is said in the reading that the habitats of bird now have been used as human settlements where all kinds of buildings are constructed. On the contrary, the listening argues that the big cities can be regarded as the habitats for bird, which are better and larger. The population of some birds are even more than before, and some kinds are becoming small. This is where the professor disagree with the writer.

Second, the growth of agricultural activities also do harm to the birds population, more bird habitats are used as the agricultural use. The prefosser on the other hand, state that with the high development of the agriculture, the land is much more productive now,we can produce more food per unit land. This directly contradicts what the reading indicts.

Third,the reading raises the issue that the chemical pesticides is a major cause of decreasing bird population.Pesticide can kill the birds directly or drive a harmful impect on their reproducing. However,the professor asserts that unlike the traditional pesticide, new pesticide are less toxic. Moreover, farmers now usually use the pest-presist crops which do not need to use the pesticide, in this case, it does no harm to the birds.

In conclusion, the professor precisely point out the weakness of the reading and forcefully proves that the main point in the reading, bird population is reducing because of human expansion, is incorrect.