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上线的有点晚不好意思 7月23日 独立 2010.3.12NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children do well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
The influence of watching TV on children’s success in study(主语The influence of watching TV on children’s success in study显得很累赘,不符合英语写作习惯,我建议改为,The influence of watching TV on children,当然这个不算很好的改法,我想说的是,有些东西可以不用添上去的)has never failed to attract parents’ attention and provoke controversy. However, everything consists of goodness and badness, people cannot evaluate something merely by its benefits or harmfulness. This is why I disagree with the practice that parents limit the hours that children enjoy TV programs.
First of all, having(having 去掉 加上一个a) wide range of knowledge plays an essential role in students’ acadamic success. Watching(ets不喜欢老是用doing开头的)TV exactly offers children a convenient and efficient way to gain(acquire) the knowledge they interest in and broaden their mind(open their eyes?). For instance, discoverychannel provides service of introduction to science and technology(这个单词的拼写楼主反复错哦 我都更正了) in a comprehensive manner, and the youth who are curious about science and technology are very likely to be attracted by this program. With the audio and visual aid on learing process, it is more easier for youth to pick up knowledge than in the classes. Therefore, watching is a magical method of education at some extent.
Moreover, children are likely to have a uneffective performance in study if they are under big pressure. For those overwhelmed students, watching TV provide them with a terrific opportunity to release themsevles. For example, my brother often spend time on animated cartoons after finishing his homework, and he perceives that make a good use of time after studying do refresh him and let him feel satisfied both with study and after-class activities.
Admittedly, a part of parents tend to believe that watching TV is detrtmental to kid’s acadamic studying, by stating that children who spend time on watching tv will not concentrate on the study. However, those parents oversimplifed the real situation as some other factor which cause children unfocused, such as lack of interest in the subject, or feel confused about their homework. Therefore, watching TV will not cause serious problem to children’s school learning.
Besed on the above reasons, I firmly belive that parent should reserve the time that children spend on watching TV. 看得出来楼主作为新手还在规定时间内完成 是不错的文章了 但楼主的拼写有待加强,文章的论证不够充分,句式有一些单一,其实与各位大神说的背35-200个好句的说法,我补注一下,先根据自己写作的喜好和习惯记下5个好的句式(倒装,强调,或其他特牛掰的地道的),反复用,一来,相信楼主会在短时间内,有所提高!
另外,很多都说我有生硬这个毛病,我仔细又改了下文章,希望楼主抽百忙之中再帮我看下,可有改善,如果不好的,千万别客气,直接说!要不怎么能进步呢~~~谢啦
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