新g issue 3 求拍~

ykhjy

3) Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.


The statement claims that educational institutions are responsible for students' success, and they should dissuade students from pursuing fields of study where they are unlikely to succeed. As students' career development is more and more relating to education, societal economic development to some extent depends on the qualified labors that educational institutions foster. According to the fact that the enterprises expect graduated students to master excellent employment skills; education institutions expect them to be more competitive; and parents expect their children to find a good job, it seems necessarily for educational institutions to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study where they are unlikely to succeed.

The statement seems to assume that dissuading students from pursuing fields of study where they are unlikely to succeed will be beneficial for both students and schools. On one hand, education is expensive, and students should make sure that they can find a job after graduating. In this more and more competitive society, students must make it clear that what talented persons that the enterprises need, and to put fields of study into practice, thus they can develop their career well. On the other hand, if graduated students are highly qualified and have a high employment rate, the institutions will be famous which will attract more terrific students; meanwhile, it is very possible that schools will be sponsored by numerous outstanding alumnus in the future.

However, educational institutions should define their own assignment which is to explore how to aid and manage teaching, rather than interfere students' choice via dissuading students' pursuit of study's fields in which they may fail in. Although practice study will bring a considerable benefit in a short term, and fields of study in which are unlikely to succeed such as scientific study require a long-term investment, and it is hard to see some benefits in a short time, yet, the theories study is critical to promote the technology which is important in nowadays society. And if educational institutions put students in the fields in which is so-called easily successful--easy to find a job, the basic study will be ignored naturally.  

In addition, dissuading students' pursuit of study's fields in which are unlikely to succeed goes against the humanism education. The humanism education imply that every person has curiosity, and they are desirous to explore what they are interested in but not yet known. And the motivation of students to pursuit fields of study where are unlikely to succeed is various: some aim for higher academic degree so that they can get better employment chances; some are for being respected, and being admitted by the society; some are desire to satisfy their curiosities; some want to challenge various unknown fields... Since students have the right to choose education, educational institutions should respect students' own interest and mind, offering equal educational resource.

In conclusion, rather than dissuading students not to pursuit fields of study where are unlikely to succeed, educational institutions are responsible to instruct students to clarify their own goal, and try their best to offer sufficient educational resource which can lead students to realize their value of life.

lukebrehm

Liked it a lot

couple mistakes
1. it seems necessarily for --INSTEAD IT SHOULD BE-- it seems necessary for
2. In this more and more competitive society,  --INSTEAD IT SHOULD BE-- In this increasingly competitive society,
3. students must make it clear that what talented persons that the enterprises need,
(something a little more clear) students must be able to discern what talented persons that enterprises need,

Overall you are a very good writer! Your works do get a little bit choppy sometimes, so I think you need to strive to get to the point where they can be read straight through smoothly. 加油！

hope to see more soon

普渡哥

我觉得这篇文章表达不是很清楚，第一段没有明确表达意图，后面也是没有明确的观点。
it seems necessarily for educational institutions to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study where they are unlikely to succeed.

这句话并不能看懂你的意图是什么。

我们需要很明确地表达我们的意图。

ykhjy

THX~