本月10次机经...求一起点评以及修改

terry9115

原题“Employers should have no right to obtain information about their employees’ health or other aspects of their personal lives without the employees’ permission.”



1.Extreme

2.私生活的确应该得到能隐私的保证。不然员工忠诚度会下降，也可能会影响工作效率。

3.但是健康状况应该得到了解，以便公司做出准备一旦员工因病离职。我姨夫的例子。

4.过往犯罪史和不良记录公司必须要了解，以避免对公司的损害。比如该员工有暴力倾向或者强奸记录，或者出卖公司机密卖钱等等。



Time witnesses human being’s extraordinary progress. The issue whether employer should have no right to obtain information about their employee’s health or other aspects of their personal lives without the employee’s permission is linked up with a wide range of groups’ interest, therefore it arouses concerns not only from the employers and the employees but also from the whole society. To agree or to disagree with it is a mater of balancing its pros and cons. From my personal perspective, after pondering on this knotty concern and viewing this controversial issue, as well as taking into account some compelling examples, I have to conclude that even though the author somewhat extends the broad assertion into extreme, I’m a proponent of the author. The following will substantially authenticate my points.



To begin with, I admit the protection of employee’s privacy has partially indisputable essentiality in some cases in which the implicit rationale underlies it accords with common sense and our experience in daily life. It can be given by the undeniable fact that nobody wants his marital information or some of his private habit be well known to all his colleagues. Indeed, this cases illustrate the point that the protection of employee’s privacy is related with the their loyalty to the employer to some extent.



However, as the famous saying goes “Every coin has its two sides”. Recognizing that a more applicable choice must incorporate more cogent aspects of the issue as sufficient as possible, I have to point out that the comparative significance of the follow-up of employee’s health condition and also some other aspects should not be overlooked. A corporation could never be ready for their employees’ accident serious illness without frequently following to their health condition. For example, the factory has to cease a long-prepared project because my uncle David Lin, the chief engineer of that project, was hospitalized due to a liver cancer. Obviously, the health condition of employee is one of the most important information for the employer, but it’s more often than not unfortunately underestimated.



In addition, another far-reaching reason I advocate A is that the employee’s bad record such as crime must be known to the employer. Empirical evidence motivating me is overwhelming. One needs to look no further than crime such as rape or violent attack to appreciate that this is indeed the case. Admittedly, as can be evidently seen, if employee have seriously attack somebody else and was convicted to a prison sentence previously and not known by the employer, this employee would be a potential dangerous factor to his colleagues. This fundamental point, nonetheless, is often not noticed by many people and accordingly, is unconsciously overlooked.



In sum, after ruminate over all the factors above, we can easily reach the conclusion that we should pay attention to not merely the protection of employee’s privacy but also their health condition and bad record. The haste generalization that we should only focus on employee’s personal wishful thinking in order to keep their loyalty is inappropriate and thoughtless. Anyway, the entrepreneurs have raised awareness, once they get universal assistance from the whole, a much promising economy is well in sight.

terry9115

谢谢！