刚刚开始准备AWA. 请大家看看这么写有没有要改进的地方。 谢谢~

wichitahaha

原题：Thefollowing appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine.
“On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retailexpenditure to department store products and services, while for youngerconsumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-agedpeople will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores canexpect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore,to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some ofthose products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intendedto attract the middle-aged consumer.”

论据1. “On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retailexpenditure to department store products and services, while for youngerconsumers the average is only 25 percent.

这里说中年人花39%的总消费在department store 里面， 而年轻人只花其中的25%。这里没有说明到了平均花了多少钱。 中年人的百分之39 可能少于年轻人的25%。 因此这个对比是不成立的。

     
观点1 Since the number of middle-aged people will increasedramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail salesto increase significantly during that period.

作者说之后的十年中年人的数字会有所增长而为departmentstore 带来更多的收益。 作者assume the trend will continue butfail to see other variables such as change of consumer taste or shift in demand.

观点2 Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores shouldbegin to replace some of those products intended to attract the youngerconsumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.”

Fail to see if the purchaser is actually theconsumer. Therefore, changing the product mix may not lead to higher revenue.