Ask Jason@沃顿珞德关于你的文章- come read: first essay feedback posted

cannedpineapple

Many people have approached me privately to ask me about helping them with their application essays. In the past I said that the essays will need to go on here, but nobody has been interested. I suspect that most people think that you can very easily tell who is applying from their essays. I'd tell you that's not true, that essays look more similar than different, but who am I to try to convince you?

So instead I've changed my mind, since nobody was benefiting from the previous method. I will now simply require those to want my help, to later on post in this thread, stating what you've learned about writing essays for business school applications.

Email me at jason.teo.wg10(在) gmail.com if you're interested. In your email, do not attach your essays. Instead first state the question of the essay. Then, in one sentence, tell me your answer to the essay. I'll choose accordingly.

PS. Nine out of ten times, the essays I look at require massive revision. Sometimes (often) the idea is not right. Sometimes (also often) the idea is fine, but you're writing in such a way that I'm not at all convinced that you understand what you're writing about. While having to deal with these differences, throw in the fact that I don't do the revisions for you, and instead am taking on the tougher/ more time-consuming job of trying to help you understand what and why the revisions are necessary, and this is obviously a long process. Hence, I will not be accepting last-minute requests that have a time limit on them.

Hope you will find this useful in your application process,
Jason

sophiamm

拿到interview是不是代表adcom已经认可了你的essay？ Or final decision的时候还是有可能因为essay写的不好而被ding？

mopton

good question. hope somebody could answer it.

cannedpineapple

I have another thread here for questions. Please use that in future. http://forum.chasedream.com/North_American_MBA/thread-429418-1-2.html

Let me give an example to answer your question: another application process, applying for a job.

If you interviewed for a firm, and there are multiple rounds, getting through one round means that on some level at least, they approve of what you- whether it be your interview, your profile, whatever the case. However, it is an iterative process. They always have the opportunity (and frequently do) to revisit and reconsider information from prior interviews. In the end, you might make it to the final round, but the CEO making the decision reads a report of your first interview, and says, "he may be perfect in all other areas, but ultimately I cannot accept "insert one weakness here" in an employee." Alternatively, he may also say, "his essays showed this, but the interview subsequently showed that this is not a big problem. Let's take him."

RARELY do they say, "Let's just look at the final interview- everything before is no longer relevant."

This tends to be the case in most decisions that we make- we make use of as much information as we have/can to make the final decision. The business school application is probably not very different. Particularly when there are so few data points (interview, essays, recommendations), and it is both 1) important and 2) easy to revisit all the information again. Indeed, after spending so much time and effort on their essays, I believe most applicants would be reassured to know that their essays are seen in a VERY important light: often far more important than a single half an hour interview, since we understand that applicants spend far longer on their essays. A lot of things can affect an interview: for instance, if one is sick; if one does not have good rapport with that specific interviewer; if the interviewer himself is sick. Many of these do not affect, or are easily controlled (eg. by having multiple people read the essays) in, the essay application process.

This is why schools say that the business school application process is a holistic one, where everything is considered. This is true at all stages- pre-interview and post-interview alike. The essays are considered at every stage. Indeed, sometimes an interview sheds new light on what adcom should pay attention to in a set of essays; sometimes a set of essays can be seen in a new light after an interview. It is not unusual for an adcom discussion to go, "after that interview, I seemed to have detected some lack of self-confidence. I wonder if this is really him, or was he having a bad day? We can resolve this by looking at his package again...". Alternatively, they might go: "oh, now that we have met him and understand that he is truly sincere about this goal, we believe he's not just trying to 'differentiate' himself. These essays read in a whole new light now." To not revisit the essays would mean that these discussions would never have occurred, and be a disservice to both the applicant himself, and also to the other applicants that the school does accept, since it would deprive them of a potentially outstanding classmate.

Jason

iceccn

As promised, after submitting my last school application,here I post my take-aways from talking to Jason regarding b-school essays. I have benefitted so much from the conversation (thank you Jason!) and I would like to share them with more ppl.

First of all, I have to say, the biggest lesson or benefit Igot is that I get to know myself and my goal much better! I regard this waymore important than just b-school application or essays. Think about this, if you are not clear enough about who you are, what you want to do, and why you shouldattend b-school now, how can anyone else be convinced by you and would furtherassist you or extend offers to you? As many applicants do, I talked to so manyapplication consultants and friends in HSW, and I have to admit that the morepeople I talk to, the more confused I got. This is by no means telling you notto talk to people, but you need to keep a clear mind and selectively takeothers’ suggestions: some tricks may apply to others but not to you, some stylemay fit others but not fit you. Maybe it’s too early for me to say it (as Ijust applied for 4 schools in R2 and haven’t heard from any of them yet), but Ido feel the thumb rule of b-school essays is: answering the question clearlyand present the TRUE YOU. So the most forehead thing is—YOU GOTTA KNOW YOURSELF! This means no bullshit to yourself or others.

Here are some lessons directly applicable to writing essays:

1.Be clear and to the point.

This used to be my biggest shortcomings in my essays, as I always dance around the issues and not 一针见血. I have spent too muchtime on making my essays read interesting and unique, but this is actuallywrong.  Never try to impress the adcom asthey have seen so many people way more interesting or unique than you. I am animpatient person due to my job characteristics, and I can imagine what an adcomofficer would think if he gets only 30 minutes on your package but keepsreading your redundant words or not-so-clear sentences. This is very importantfor those schools that require very tight word limit, as the adcom is extendingonly one msg by setting 300/400 word count: be precise and be clear. If you areanswering a mistake essay, tell the adcom what your mistake was and what youdid wrongly straight away, not let them imply from the failure result.

2. Answer the question

As Jason said, if an essay is notanswering the question, no matter how well-written it is, the candidate will bedinged without a second thought. The same story may be used for several essayquestions, but do spend time to rewrite it to answer the right question. Acomplex situation doesn’t mean a hard decision; engagement doesn’t only meanunderstanding others. One of my essays got killed by Jason 1 week before thedeadline, and I had to re-choose a topic and rewrote the essay. After gettingclearer with the questions “who I am” and “what I want to show to adcom”, Ispent a whole night just writing this 400 words essay, and this turned out tobe my strongest essay in my package and got highest credit from allreviewers.

3. Showing weakness is another way of     showing strength

No one is perfect but few peoplehave the guts to show their weakness. Creating a perfect image only meansbullshit and you don't have enough self-awareness. All these mean you are notqualified as a mature person to attend an elite MBA program. Showing weaknesscan uncover the “true you” to the adcom, and thus make the whole package realand convincing. You don’t need to show weakness everywhere, but at least oneplace in the package, may it be the failure story, the career goal, or thereason of what matters most to you.

4. Be clear with the focus of an essay question

For example, “why do you view thisaccomplishment important to you” should overweight “what the accomplishment isand what you did to achieve it”, “why this matter most to you” shouldoverweight “what matters most to you”.

I wish I had talked to Jason before submitting my firstapplication but not the last one. I have to admit that I got much more fromtalking to him than most consultants or workshops. Unlike most consultantsdirectly tell you what to write and what specific word to choose (and in mostcases they suggest so only because they saw some successful cases doing thisbefore, not because they know you well and believe this suits you best), Jasontells you a clear mind and ways to do the right thing. This helps me make myown judgment of when to follow other’s suggestion and when to stay with myopinion. If I could not hit any of my target schools this year and still wantto give a try next year, I would have much more confidence of what to do andhow to prepare my package. Actually after clearing my thoughts, I actually findb-school is just a small thing in my life and may not be guaranteed the bestpath. After all, never let one door close one’s eyes, and who knows what thebest arrangement is. J

chloebaby

Thank you for these practical points!