小白球批改！！作文20/19

Phoebe0910

啥也不多说了，说多了全是眼泪。本人考了4次T，作文分别是20,19,19,19 完全没有长进。现在很是不懂作文写作的要点所在。非常恳求小分队的高手们帮帮我这个忙！（哭）（哭）（哭） 恳请高手教教我我的问题都出在哪几个方面还有我需要如何改进？在此跪谢高手们！！！

题目是出自TPO22  A/D   Teacher should not make their social or political views known to student in the classroom

偶滴正文如下~~：
It is not uncertain that teacher are one kind of load of the best massage resources for our knowlege.We trust them as much as our parents.So it is apparently to see how important do our teachers are.
Admittedly,sometimes we have to notice that teachers shouldn't tell over much their social or political views to their young students,like primary school students,for example.Thay are too young to establish their own attitude towards the whole world,so maybe thay can't digest any views in an accomplish way.And refer to the social and political parts,too much personal views of point may let them mislead.But as for the teenager or adult students,like senior high students or collage students,for example.They have their own attitude to deal with the information they get.So to makingor not the teachers views known to students in the classroom depends on the students year-old are whether young or not.
One part related to my point of view is teachers have a much more broarder view than us.This is because of the major assignment our year-old stage should do--study.And we get information from books more than our own experiences.Besides,our knowlege has a limited edge,it is to say,even though talking about knowlege we still be lost to our teachers.
Another related part to my point is teachers will send us the message they have digested greatly with their own point of view.For this process,there is a more useful kind of value to illustrate the original information.This is very need for the students who can't get and comprehend the imformation related to social or political.




好了。各位大神感激不尽！！！！

Phoebe0910

亲亲们帮帮我吧！不要让这个求助的小帖子沉掉好嘛~~