zyr220 _Johnny 的作文帖，坚持20天，一次过托福！

zyr220

2014年10月10日

独立作文 + 综合作文

10月10日

独立作文——比起hirefamous teachers，学校更应该提高facilities.

In China, a recent survey of teaching capabilities of 50 middle schools, conducted by China Education Bureau, indicates that more than 60% percent of these schools do not have microcomputer room, physics laboratory, or art rooms. The lack of these foundational facilities will makefar-reaching bad influence on the students.

Undeniably, we are in an ear of information, and the modern teaching facilities just as computer, projector, or even IPAD, become more andmore important in daily teaching. Students can use computers to search the relevant information about their lessons on Internet, can use projector to do presentations and to share their ideas with classmates, and can use IPAD to make notes, do home works and contact with teachers. Therefore, the investment inmodern teaching facilities is one of the foremost considerations for the administrators of schools.

In addition, the practical ability is a more important factor, which will help the students to find aexcellent job after the graduation, than other factors. And the laboratories will provide a space in which students can improve their practical abilities significantly. The medicine company will absolutely not employ a researcher who has never went in to a chemistry laboratory. If the school can build some laboratories, the students will be able to practice what they have learned from books and make their own ideas, and, when they want to find a better job, they will not meet the embarrassing problem.

Moreover, art classes can also bring practical benefits aswell, even though they are not directly related to numeracy, scientificknow-how, or literacy. However, playing musical instruments can train students’ eye-hand coordination, which can be really useful for career as engineers, technicians, or medical professionals. Also, pottery or porcelain making can enhance the cooperation between the left brain and the right brain, thereby enabling students to come up with more creative solutions to problems. Furthermore, art classes actually open up opportunities for certain internships, jobs or careers, just as performing artists, graphic artists,composers and architects. Accordingly, the art facility is an indispensable part of a school.

Of cause, famous teachers are also valuable for schools. Famous teachers, who have specialties in some areas just as in math, physics or chemistry etc, will teach more professional knowledge to students. But the salaries of famous teachers always dramatically higher then those of common teachers.

But as majority of schools in China, they do not have enough money to hire famous teachers; and providea better study condition for students is the most important thing for them. I convince that to use limited resources in purchasing computers, laboratory facilities and art instruments is a better choice for these schools. In this way, the students can get more useful knowledge to serve the people and the society.



10月10日   综合作文

The lecture apparently disproves what is argued in the reading material. According to the passage, the new tactic, called “buzzing”, used in the marketing is misleading for consumers and it should be banded, and there are three possible explanations: puzzers do not tell the truth about the product, puzzers’ ideas will influence the customers to buy something not suitable for them, and buzzing will result in the spread of mistrust and dishonesty. However, the speaker in the lecture asserts that a closer scrutiny of this argument would reveal how flimsy it is. He then represents several evidences to demonstrate his statement.


To begin with, supposition given by the author states that buzzers give customer incorrect information about the buzzed product, which means the buzzers misleading the customers. But the speaker claims that what the buzzer say is not lie but rather truth. The buzzers are really like the product what they sell and really want the customers to know the merits of the product. Obviously, the speaker’s argument disapproves it counterpart in the reading.


Furthermore, the passage assumes that the consumers will accept the buzzers’ advice because the consumer do not know the identity of the buzzer. The speaker, however, suggests that the consumer will hardly be influenced by the buzzer, because the consumer will pay more attention on the disadvantages of the product. The speaker assets that, for instance, if a consumer want to buy a cell phone, he may will ask how much the price of the cell phone is or how long the buzzer has used it, and if the buzzer cannot answer the question, the consumer will leave the shop rather than buy the phone.


Moreover, the speaker indicates that buzzing make the people trust each other more, whereas the author of the reading claims that the buzzing result in the mistrust. The speaker proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that the buzzing is useful for the consumers, for instance, the buzzers will use the product or the service before buzzing, and they will tell the consumers the true feelings, which make the consumers  more trust the buzzers. That is to say, if you want to buy something and you take some suggestions from the buzzers, you will find that the choice you make is great and the person you ask is really credible.


In conclusion, taking account of the arguments offered above, the lecture clearly identifies the defects of the reading material and forcefully showed that the explanations given by the author are utter nonsense.

angla

The lecture apparently disproves what is argued in the reading material. According to the passage, the number of the Torreya taxifoha, a type of tree that once lived in Florida, began to decline （tree decline，不是number decline，应该逻辑语法上不太对）since 1950s. Scientists offered three ways to solve this problem, including reestablish Torreya in the same location, move it to a new location and preserve it in research centers. However, the professor in the lecture asserts that a closer scrutiny of this argument would reveal how flimsy it is. She then represents （想用present用成了represent？）several evidences to demonstrate her statement.

To begin with, supposition give by the author states （state的用法虽然说supposition也说得通，但最好还是用人做主语吧，而且author 要表达清楚是passage还是reading的。）that Torreya has lived in Florida（for） thousands of years, the reestablish （reestablish是动词，不是名词）in the same place will work. But the professor claims that the global warm and some other factor（s） have changed the climate of Florida, the Torreya can not survive in the same place. Obviously, the speaker’s argument disapproves it counterpart in the reading.（细节内容不太充分）

Furthermore, the passage assumes that move Torreya to a new place may can help in keeping the trees. The professor, however, suggests that move the Torreya to a new place may be （move 是动词，move is。。。词性使用错误）very dangerous for the native plants. She assets that, for instance, a kind of tree has been replanted in a new environment, and killed other native plants, because it has a more strong ability to get sunlight and other resource.（听力原文理解不准确）

Moreover, the professor indicates that reserve Torreya in the research center is also not a （reserve。。。is词性错误）good choice whereas the author of the reading claims that reserve Torreya in the research center will ensure the continued survival of the species. The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that Torreya need a large space and diversity condition to keep alive, but the research center can not provide these conditions.

In conclusion, taking account of the arguments offered above, the lecture clearly identifies the defects of the three ways to reserve Torreya of the reading material and forcefully showed that the methods given by the author are utter nonsense.（此段大都可以不写，写了不加分，不如用更多时间来把前三段弄好）

另外，逻辑链上感觉套用模板的痕迹略重

GJason

综合作文不在于字数多少啊，关键是要把听力材料里的点都写清楚。用用模版显得语言好一些也不错，不用刻意追求

zyr220

echosun2002 发表于 2014-10-12 21:37
我觉得把which直接放到你要修饰的后面也行啊！第一句话绕死我了原来出自GWD难怪咯 ...

当时被这道题绕死，就记下来了，没想到还能用来去绕ETS，让他们出这么难的题，让他们自己读着试试看

echosun2002

我觉得把which直接放到你要修饰的后面也行啊！第一句话绕死我了原来出自GWD难怪咯

zyr220

GJason 发表于 2014-10-12 11:22
10.10
In China, a recent survey of teaching capabilities of 50 middle schools, conducted by China Ed ...

兄弟，我整理了一个综合的模板，只要听到四句话，就能350字，感觉还不错。
你给鉴定一下看看能这么写不？

The lecture apparently disproves what is argued in the reading material. According to the passage_读_. However, the professor asserts that a closer scrutiny of this argument would reveal how flimsy it is. He then presents several evidences to demonstrate his statement.

To start with, the professor claims that the reading passage fails to take into account that_听1_. Therefore, the assertion of the author that _读_ seems too absolute since other possibilities could not be eliminated by any current evidence.

Furthermore, the passage assumes that_读_. The professor, however, suggests that this assumption may not be merited by the evidence. Say, _听2_. The contradiction is obvious here when_听3_. On the basis of this point the lecture explicitly refutes the passage.

Last but not the least, the passage may be right about _读_, but one critical fact is being left out of consideration. Pointed out by the professor, the author totally neglects the truth that_听4_. On account of above-mentioned grave mistakes, the author’s assertion turned out to be a preposterous idea.

In conclusion, taking account of the arguments offered above, the lecture clearly identifies the defects of the reading material and forcefully showed that the explanations given by the author are utter nonsense.

zyr220

10月12日：

今天没写独立。。。整理了个新模板，试了一下综合作文，感觉效果杠杠的。。。听力只用听到四句话就能写出来350字，哈哈

综合作文——TPO 17

The lecture apparently disproves what is argued in the reading material. According to the passage, the author argue that the birds is keeping decline since the human population increase, the expands of the agriculture land and the use of pesticide. However, the professor asserts that a closer scrutiny of this argument would reveal how flimsy it is.He then presents several evidences to demonstrate his statement.

To start with, the professor claims that the reading passage fails to take into account that the increased human population led to the decrease of the rural land, which is the habitats of other wild animals, is not the major habitats of birds. The number of some kinds of bird may decline, but the number of the majority of bird increased, because these bird can live in the city. Therefore, the assertion of the author that the increase of the human population lead to the decline of the birds number seems too absolute since other possibilities could not be eliminated by any current evidence.

Furthermore, the passage assumes that the increasing agriculture outcome will need more land, then will destruct the habitats of birds. The professor, however, suggests that this assumption may not be merited by the evidence. The professor consider that the increase of the outcome of the crop since the new crop are more productive. The land use in US is decreasing indeed. On the basis of this point the lecture explicitly refutes the passage.

Last but not the least, the passage may be right about the pesticide is harmful for the birds, but on critical fact is being left out of consideration. Pointed out by the professor, the author totally neglects the truth that the pesticide is becoming less poisons these years, and more genetic transformed crop need less pesticide and is not dangerous for birds.

In conclusion, taking account of the arguments offered above, the lecture clearly identifies the defects of the reading material and forcefully showed that the explanation given by the author are utter nonsense.

zyr220

echosun2002 发表于 2014-10-12 18:36
10.11的独立改好了，有问题联系我

改的太好了，太谢谢你了。

What you eat in lunch should be selectedspecially, some beef, chicken, or fish can be the main course, which(是指course还是beef chicken fish?如果是前者应该是单数用includes,如果是后者，感觉有点远) all include less fat and more protein than pork, and some vegetablesjust as carrot, broccoli or tomato can be the side dishes. Lower fat youintake, less probability you will have cardio disease and diabetes.

请教个问题，这句话which确实有问题，是想指代前面这些肉类的，你觉得怎么改比较好，不用which，用什么能跳过course指代前面这些呢？



A study published in the China Medical Journalshowed that people who ate fruits more than five times a week were about one third less likely to suffer from coronaryheart disease than werethose who ate no fruits at all（两个比较级在一起感觉有些混乱，第一个没有比较对象）, and that a healthy meal will make a far-reaching good influence onpeople’s health.

第一句话其实是偷鸡把GWD正确句子里面一句话拿来，把nuts直接改成fruits了，嘿嘿。

A study published in the British Medical Journal showed that women who ate nuts more than five times a week were about one third less likely to suffer from coronary heart disease than were those who ate no nuts at all.

echosun2002

10.11的独立改好了，有问题联系我

angla

光看着字数就不明觉厉。。。。。。