漾yang9月toefl备考写作，麻烦大家帮忙看看多谢啦~相互帮忙哈哈~

漾yang

Topic：People care more about publicrecognition than about money. Even if no more money is given, publicrecognition can still make people work harder.

大家狠狠的改吧~逻辑结构和词汇。。。

When it comes to the instinctive thatencourages people to work harder, there are several answers such as money andpublic recognition. Some people may contend that public recognition canconstantly inspire people even without money. However, I disagree with thatopinion, because we should give our conclusion case-by-case.

Firstly, for the group who still sufferfrom the problem of survival, it is money that takes the first place tostimulate people working hard. Without the basic living substance, people haveno time to dream about sufficient food to eat, let alone receiving publicrecognition, which is useless for their current situation. However, higherincome enables impoverished families to buy more food and clothes, which savestheir life. Under such nice and practical motivation, people will definitelywork harder to pursue a better material life. Thus, for those who live belowbasic life standard, money is more appropriate than public recognition to be a drivingforce.

Still, there is a group of people who havealready above well-off level. For them, money is not as attractive as publicrecognition. Because they have possessed enough amount of money, more or lessis not that important, then they want to contribute to our society. TakeMichael Yang for example, a famous entrepreneur in my hometown, who operates alarge cooperation and possesses hundreds of millions of wealth. He has devotedsums of money into local primary school and provides scholarship to impoverishedstudents, top-notch students, high-potential students and so forth. Hisdevotion brings him high public reputation and respect, and in turn encourageshim to reach higher level in his career path to support his philanthropy andachieve personal fulfillment. Therefore, public recognition contributes topeople’s development.

A third group of people is between twogroups above. Their attitude towards money and public recognition lies on theirvalues. Those who are not satisfied with their material condition will bemotivated by higher salary. Not only can money provide us with everything weneed to survive, but it can also make our lives better, such as sending childrento a well-known international school, buying high quality goods, paying for aluxury vacation with family members and so forth. Although they are not millionaire,their life is enjoyable. For another kind of people who care more about publicrecognition than money, they will be well motivated by public recognition, likepoliticians.

In conclusion, the statement that withoutmoney, public recognition can still motivate people to work harder is one-sided.For people whose life standard is under basic level, it is inevitable that theywill not strive without the promise of money. For people whose life quality isabove well-off level, public recognition can promote their career. For peoplebetween those two levels, it depends on their values. Therefore, money is thefundamental requirement when people work hard, while public recognition wouldbe taken into account only when they have enough money.  

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