Linda 的写作20148月作文季 求互改

mygirlzini

With the increasing number of cars in inner city area for the last decades, the probem of parking have been pointed out sharply. It has become common that people drive half an hour just to look for a place parking their cars. If it is easy to park or not around the workplace has been taken into consideration when i comes to buy a new car. Constructing large car parks around the city centre and a public transport net work could greatly help to reduce the intensity of parking shortage.

City centre alway tend to be the crowdest plae among the whole city,people go there to work,shopping,watching films, builting a large car parks are not only giving people who drive there a big convinence but also could stimulate the bsiness around the parks, for the worries of no place to park has been eliminated, people are more likely to go there, therefor, they have bigger possibility to comsume.

Another way to solve the problem is to develope a public transport network. Bus, metro, auto-bycycle system could immensely improve traffic condition by removing a lot of traffic from street, and providing more alternatives would effectively reduce the useage of the automobiles. As a reslt, air-polution is very likely been decresed. In addition, metro speed could reach 80KM per hours, it may allow people get to their destination quicker and easier. Furthermore, auto-bycycle system provide an healther transport alternative,people excersices while they transport. Howevr,there still are some disadvantages to this idea. Firstly,the paking fees of the car park could be too expensive for ordinary people, especially those who need to park car for more than 5 hours per day. For example, if it charges 5 yuan per hour, then for people who works nearby and need to park in the work day, the fee could add up to 3200 yuan per mounth! In addition,the speed of constructing car parks is less likely to catch up with the speed of car incrasing,there for, although the limited car parks could help to the moment, it  tend not to satisfy the long-term needs.
To develpe underground or elevated metro live is difficult in existing city, consequently, it takes a long time and creates a lot of congestions while the new metro line are being bulit. Finally,the management the auto-bycycle system could be hard, goverment may need to afford high expanse of the maintainess.

echosun2002

sorry，昨晚家里断网，我用手机占座的，今天一早改给你，有问题联系我哈

mygirlzini

20141008独立
不好意思，没看懂1008的题目写的1009的哈

sigrid_shan

注意语法，注意空格问题。

mygirlzini

sigrid_shan 发表于 2014-9-10 22:50
0908占座明天改，太累了。

嗯,好的

mygirlzini

angla 发表于 2014-9-8 14:59
mm，你9.6日的独呢？

我的也没改哦。。。

亲,看到了吗?

sigrid_shan

0908占座明天改，太累了。

mygirlzini

Q:Teachers have less impact on students than they used to be.

     The rapid development of society lead to a soaring demanding of reeducation and teachers.Compare to the past,the number of teacher are bombarded,however,the impact of whom were weaken than it used to be for reasons of different aspects.

     First and foremost,the moral quality of teachers nowadays has generally descended compare to the past,to put in another words,what they said and did are not  in student’s behalf at some extent(Or should I put in some extent?what’s the difference?). For instance,the promising future and considerable profits makes most  education and training institutes putting recruiting more students and expanding scale instead of improving teaching quality priority.As salary were calculated by time of teaching,some teachers are not willing to spend time on those who came to ask for help unless they pay. However,most teachers in history have devoted their entire life to education and nurturing students.Undoubtedly they would earn more respect and tend to have profound and lasting impact on pupils .

     In addition,the academic level of teachers today has falling tremendously by and large compare to the scholar-level before.Dating back to 1930s,only top scholars were entitled to teach.Some of them even graduated from western top universities.Works of those teachers,such as the <<Sculpture history of China>>from architect Liangsicheng,<<Besieged City>>from litterateur Qianzhongshu, are still classic today.On the contrary ,most teachers in private education institutes are just college student who doesn’t qualified to teach(Or should I say who doesn’t own teacher certification?).Therefore,naturally teacher in the past are more authorized.

      What’s more,with the development of Internet and advanced technology,courses of top Ivy universities are readily accessible to everyone,experienced pioneers could be reached by just a click of a mouse.Consequently, teacher’s role as imparting knowledge are weaken to some extent.

     To sum up,influenced by commercial society, teacher today is more like a lucrative profession rather than a initiator devoting themselves to inculcating knowledge to a large extent.And the rapid developed Internet has taken place of some roles what teachers used to be.

Q:1\ I find it is hard for me to diversify the expression “teacher in the past”,could you recommend some?

  2\I was told that supporting details is one of the key factors if I am aiming high scores in task 2.But I met some troubles of doesn’t know when to address my view with details.It seems every abstract sentence could be followed by a example,and every noun could be expressed more specifically using such as ,like,for example or non-predicated verb and subordinate clause. Therefore I usually spend 3-4 hours to write 450-580 length,which now I have known is a big mistake.Are there any tips can help me with that?

mygirlzini

Q:It’s much easier to attain success without help from one’s family in the past.
   Chinese society has developed rapidly since reform and opening-up has been applied in 1978.There is a heat debate over whether it is  much easier to achieve success without help from one’s family in the past or not.Some people support the point because they believe the powerful social network of one’s family will bring their inherent valuable resources such as reputation,fortune,more importantly,a expanding social network.However,I think the problem should be viewed separately of what the situation the people stays.

   To those who works for State-owned enterprise,family influence indeed would have a tremendous impact on one’s success in career.Unlike ability and skill are priorities of promoting in the past,nepotism grows popularity today in these company.Which has been strictly forbidden in the past.Take one of our manager as an example.He was just a labor works in assembly line when he was admitted in our company.After married one of our senior executive’s niece,he was promoted director a year later.Compared with him,other front line works couldn’t even be transformed to position like secretary because they don’t have bachelor degree.


   On the other hand,to employees of private company and those who have creative schema worth investing.Personal success is not so much rely on the help of family.Because to private company,competent people are their main competitiveness.Good income and promotion are guaranteed as long as you remain contributing.And private investment are encouraged to help people without capital to start their own business.There are plenty example of ordinary people attained huge success without help from family.For instance,the biggest B2B business platform in china, Taobao, was established in a 16 square meter simply house.The famous founder Mayun is just a teacher then.With the persistence and precise predict of market demand,Taobao has grown to a enterprise worth billions.There are more examples in other emerging industry like New Original in education and training industry,Tencent in IT industry,the founders of these company share a common feature---don’t have a powerful background,still they gain a great success.

  In generally,in certain kinds of field such as politic and any enterprise with state background,helps with family are necessary in the road of successful,however,in the private sector and emerging industry where employers and investors are mainly focus on competent and the potential repayment,family influence is of much less importance to success.

sigrid_shan

坐楼等，么么大