jennyer的写作贴

jennyer

写作实在苦手，硬着头皮加油！求指点共勉

北极的企鹅123

jennyer 发表于 2014-6-25 12:04
谢谢~亲指出的句式问题的确是我的弱点啊~
PS 第一次被夸作文不错诶，看来最近有点进步了，真开心 ...

是真的写的很好，过两天把写作捡起来，要向你学习！

jennyer

sweetyecho 发表于 2014-6-26 21:47
错误修改好

As modern life becomes more complex, it is essential for young people to hav ...

谢谢亲认真的修改！意见很中肯实用，感谢~

sweetyecho

错误修改好

As modern life becomes more complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

Have you ever handled several difficult tasks during a short period? Have you ever dealt with some tough works in a hurry to meet the deadline? If you have never had such experience, you will never know the significance of planning and organizing. Hence, when it comes to the issue that whether it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize, although（although貌似只能用在句首，句中要用though） people’s opinion differs（differ） from person to person, culture to culture, I totally agree with the statement, reasons to this view involve many aspects.

Admittedly, it is undeniable that in order to face the complex modern（modern用法问题：我查了一下，名词只有两个意思现代人和有思想的人）, abilities other than planning and organizing are necessary for young people to equip with. For instance, young people’s ability to absorb the latest knowledge helps them keep up with the changing world. What is more, ability to learn from other’s experience helps broaden young people’s horizon which make sense to （这个用法赞，但是要注意单复数）their success. Aren’t those abilities important for young people? But are those abilities can be considered essential? When taking more factors into consideration, as far as I am concerned, the significance of planning and organizing outweigh that of those abilities.

Moreover, it is the ability to plan and organize that enables young people to make full use of limited time to finish their tasks or to achieve their dreams. It is easily quote an example to illustrate this.（语法问题：it is easy to quote blablabla或者I can easily quote blablabla） Last term, I got a little overwhelmed that I had to done three research papers which each could take much time to finished （finish）in the last three weeks, at the same time, I had a part time job in the university’s library. Without careful plan and organize (名词形式：organization)of my schedule, I could never finished those tasks within such short period successfully. So it is reasonable to believe that other young people can certainly benefit from the skill of planning and organizing.

Last but not the least, the ability of plan and organize make young people more efficient in their works. As the proverb says” lost time is never found again.” In order to finish the work or to grasp other abilities they need during the certain period, young people should cherish time and learn to organize efficient progress to complete their works. A survey conducted by a large company in china shows that people worked with organized schedule appear to be more efficient and more success in terms of their positions than those who didn’t. From this case, it is believable that the ability to plan and organize plays an important role in the success.

From above discussion, I believe that it is hardly to overstate the significance of the ability to plan and organize. in all, I reinforce my standpoint.

亲，请原谅我有强迫症，哎：注意大小写哈，句号完了第一个字母大写，china表示中国也要大写。（明明我不是处女座啊，哎～～～）然后，你的第三个论点和第二个论点的逻辑区别不够清晰：第三个论点有点包含在第二个论点里面，但是在T考试里应该没什么关系啦，嘿嘿～其他，没啥问题啦，赞！

jennyer

25独立写作 As modern life becomes more complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

jennyer

北极的企鹅123 发表于 2014-6-24 22:14
soory哈，拖了一天，改好啦，亲的作文写的真心好

谢谢~亲指出的句式问题的确是我的弱点啊~
PS 第一次被夸作文不错诶，看来最近有点进步了，真开心

jennyer

Five_007 发表于 2014-6-24 20:15
已改，请查阅。

谢谢~亲的修改让我受益很多啊！一起加油~

北极的企鹅123

soory哈，拖了一天，改好啦，亲的作文写的真心好

Five_007

已改，请查阅。

jennyer

24 独立 Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country