eleven 作文贴 么么哒 成长吧！~

elleven806

好久木写作文了 多多指教~

elleven806

commit to...投身于...
being heavily committed to ...is likely to make...过于专注某个做法

elleven806

7.22
broadly speaking 一般来说
our society generously provides such environment for people to achieve such goals.
...helps a person achieve his goal with more ease
!!Does sth only provide us nothing beneficial besides ...
   eg.Does a university only provide nothing beneficial besides a paper-made diploma?
as far as I concerned, we enjoyed university education in the following aspects:
A systematic study in a college or a university, of cource, enables us to realize how the society works and how to cope with certian problems arising from it in a more efficiently, and more skillful way.
sth makes it possible that...
we get hold of （得到） a decent job
As a result of the accomplishment of a four-year study, it is not difficult for us to find a good job in most cases.
A university education fortifies our values, enhences our skills, and broadens our horizons.

elleven806

7.9 独立写作Spend money on long-lasting thing or spend on short-term pleasure

Along with fast development of economy, people could earn more money than past years.  How to use the money? Some think people should spend money on short-term pleasure, such as buying jewelry. However, from my part, I believe that people should spend money on long-lasting thing such as taking a trip.
To begin with, long-lasting things could make people feel happier and more enjoyable. It is common knowledge that people earning money not only want to improve their life quality, but also want to make life more colorful. But, the pleasure from spending money on short-term things can not insist for long time. It is just a immediate enjoyment.For example, some women tend to purchase clothes and jewelry when they have some saving. However, buying those things can not give them a long-lasting enjoyment. As long as they obtain those things, they would not feel happy any more. On contrast, some clever people are likely to spend money on long-term things. They go to travel which not only bring happieness but also make people relax. And the most important thing is they still have those memorable records no matter how many years past.
Furthermore, saving money could train people's patient. As we know, saving money is a very difficult thing. There are lots of things attracting people during they are saving money. If one can not resist temptation, they can not saving enough moeny to do long-lasting things. By the way, the long-term thing may cost more than short-term thing. Therefore, saving money could contribute directly to train people's patient.
Finally, compared to short-term pleasure, long-term things are more meaningful. As the saying goes: successful people do the things that are hard and necessary and important. And unsuccessful people do the things that are fun and easy and which give immediate enjoyment. Such as short-term thing which are fulled with immediate pleasure. Therefore, the long-term things are more meaningful even though it would spend much more time and patient.
To sum up, although short-term things could bring immediate enjoyment to people, I still confirm that the long-lasting things could contribute a lot to our life.

小蘑菇开始打怪

亲，我的0704的独立作文貌似是和你互改，我看你到现在都没有写，我的文章已经写好了~~帮我改一下吧~~谢谢！

超级无敌小鹤鹤

我是企鹅，顶着鹤鹤的名义又来啦

sweetyecho

elleven806 发表于 2014-7-4 20:06
7.3 TPO20综合
Clearly, the professor totally disproves that what is argued in the reading passage. A ...

这一篇的综合没什么问题，我听的点你基本都有。可能稍微不太完美的就是最后一个point的细节不充分：你只说了大意这个现象不会年年发生，如果能再加上rainfall，wind等等因素的阐述就更好了。

小蘑菇开始打怪

7.3  独立写作
Movies and television programs should present stories in which good people are rewarded and bad people are punished

Along with fast development of society, espeically technology such as TV , internet , and other social media, movies and TV shows are well welcomed by the increasing number of people. However, the topic that movies and television programs should present stories in which bad people get punished and good people get happy ending causes wide public discuss. Personally, I believe that the movies and TV shows should put good and positive stories for public people.

To begin with,  a positive story will make people feel happy. With more and more competitive society(改成with the society becoming more and more competitive?), people take heavy life burden. Watching TV and movies is a good way for people to relax themselves. A good and positive movie will bring courage and hope for people. As reported, lots of new worker will have some difficult time in their firm. Such as some collegue bribe to their boss and get much salary or some peers do not work hard but still get same money. But(用however这样语法比较对）, in the reality, those new workers can not（用cannot） do any thing to change this unfair life. So when they watch movie and TV shows, they want to see bad guys get punished. From this kind of movie, they find hope of life and relax their bad mood. Obviously, those movies will make people get happier.

Furthermore, a good story could create a good example to people and establish a positive social environment.  Movies and TV have a far-reaching influence on this generations especially young adult. Those young people are full with passion and energetic（energy）. They like fashion and like those popular movies. At the same time, they may imitate their favorate actors' behavior unconciously. Therefore, if the movie give those young children bad example. Such as bad people get reward. This phenomenon will make young people to  question the world, even meke them do bad things. Therefore, it goes without saying that a positive movie not only will get a good feedback from young people but also estabilish a wonderful social environment.

Admitted, the movie which good people get reward and bad people get punished sometimes is very boring. Becuase when people watch movie at beginning, they will know then ending. And there almost are happy ending movie. Thus, those movie will be lack of some attraction. But it is too weak to persuade me to walk away from my point of view.

To sum up,  even though the positive movies sometime are indeed lack of attraction, it is ackownledged that contemporary people all like watch positive movies which not only could contribute great social environment but also could make people feel happier.

楼主每段的论点都很清楚，两个支持点一个让步。词句变化比较丰富。
个别句子语法上有些问题。比如：
1、用such as开头作为句子来举例我认为fragment
2、用连词（and but）开头但却只有一套主谓，所以这个连词可以换成副词。

考试加油！~

elleven806

Parents should allow children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

Nowadays, the question about that how to guide children and how to regulate their behaviors caused wild discuss. In fact, with fast development of society, the significant of education has been increasingly recognized by parents. For my part, parents should allow children to make mistakes and let them learn somthing from their own mistakes.
To begin with, it will help children to establish a good value towards to life. It goes without saying that children will change their behaviors when they have some bad experience. If parents guide children before they make mistake, the children can not recognize their bad behavior, because it did not make any bad result. Therefore, in the next time, they will repeate this bad behvior again. On contrary, when children get punished by their own mistakes. They will recognize what is right thing and what is wrong thing. Finally, they will not do it again. It could contributes directly to children's futures and help them build a good value.
What's more, That children make mistake and then correct their mistake by themselves make children have a positive attitude to confront adversity. It is inevitable that everyone will face some difficulties in their life time. People who have a postive attitude will get more happier and easier. When children make some mistake, parents not help them. They children will understand that they can not depend on other people. Therefore, they will become stronger than other contemporary children. When they grow up, they will not afraid of failure and mistake. At the end, they will get success more eaiery because they already have those experince.
Admitted, sometimes, parents could help children to solve lots of problems before children face them. And it will make children feel happier in their childhood.

elleven806

7.4 TPO21综合
Clearly, the professor totally disproves what is suggested in the reading passage. According to the author, the genetically modified trees bring lots of benefits. However, the professor believes that the disadvantages of genetic trees far overweigh than merits.
To begin with, the author points out that the genetically modified trees are more likely to suvivie than other trees because they are unique designed for certain situation. However, the professor asserts that the author may neglect the fact that this special modified trees tend more to die out than other trees. The reason is their organism's genes are only suitable for one particular situation. Therefore, when there are new pest or climate change which out of genetic designed consideration, those modified trees are complete die out than other trees in those new situation.
Furthermore, the writer claims that those modified trees contribute a lot to economy. Due to greater yields and less pesticides using, it could save a huge mount of money for people. Pointed by professor, one fact is being left consideration. Those seeds of modified trees will spend more cost than other tree seeds. Actually, by law, peasants not only should pay more money for those seeds but also should pay for each turn  in every year they want to plant. Therefore, the cost of modified trees are increased.
Finally, according to the reading material, the modified trees could contribute to other wild trees and saving endangered native trees. The modified trees could satisfy the demand for wood due to their high yield. But, the speaker aruges that the genetically modified trees are harmful to native trees. Those modified trees will become a dominant competetor for local trees and they could out compete of sources such as sunlight, water, soil. Thus, the locao and endangered native trees will decline.