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youkymomo

4.5独立 It is better to relax by watching a movie orreading a book than doing physical exercise.

Do you lead a healthy life?Do you on your ownlifestyle satisfaction? In recent years, itis generally conceded that the lifestyle may have contributed to the decline inthe health enjoyed by modern people, especially who lives in city. A largequantity of people propose the statement that they prefer to stay at homewatching movies or reading a book as a major fashion of relaxation. However, inmy own perspective, I firmly support that exercise is of great significance forthe majority of citizens to improve their quality of life.

The first and the foremost, the fast-paced life in the heavily pollutedurban environment involves many health hazards, which constrains urbanresidents to have stronger bodies to resist diseases. Forinstance,pm2.5,referred to tiny particles in the air that are very hazardous tohealth, which as the heated discussed issue has been controversial since it wasraised up. Except wearing masks, toning up with more exercise seems to be themost efficient manner to avoid health hazards, before the government and theauthorities proposing the accurate and available plan to curb the environmentalpollution. Seeing increased rates of cancer and other chronic health disorders,there is no way around the fact that building up our resistance has become theessential duty to enhance our physical health.

Moreover, undergone a significant increase of human population for thepast centuries, the competition between no matter students or job seekers arebecoming fiercer and fiercer, accompanied by weighing heavily on the spirit. Aftersitting in front of the desk or the computer for a day, having an exerciseinarguably becomes a demand for urban dwellers. It is a healthy approach thatpeople can release their pressure of life through its diversity. For example, peoplewho prefer strenuous physical activities can swim or jog; people who are fondof the sports of a little aggressive can consider yoga as their best choice; andso on and so forth.

Furthermore, through the process of exercise in the gym, people obtainmore opportunities to make new friends those who may work in other fields withdifferent sorts of experience that they have never heard. Frankly, Communicatingwith other people, for me, is a better choice than reading books or watchingmovies at home.

Thanks to the reasons and the evidences mentioned above, I am a definitelyproponent of the statement that doing physical exercise to relax enjoys adistinct advantage. People should learn to improve their life quality, besidesexercise could be the most rational choice.

包子不包子

再战必胜（≧∇≦）

sweetyecho

不好意思，批改晚了，写的很好！

youkymomo

4.17独立写作
Teachers should assign homework for students every day.
Have you ever feel overwhelmed for your assignments in your school days? Lately, an animated discussion of whether teachers should give the assignments every day or not has been controversial by students. From my own perspective, I consent the statement that accomplishing homework every day may not be benefit to students study. The reasons why I claim this idea will be demonstrated as follows.  
First and the foremost, good performance is not equal to more homework. The confusion that the more homework teachers assigned the higher grade students will get is so much wrong. The elements which can actually improve the grades of students are the attitude of study and consciousness of future. A person’s awareness definitely influent one’s behavior. No matter how advanced condition students possess, none of it will make a difference, unless students can realize the vital practical significance of education. No place will arrived without motivation. If a person long to fulfill his dream eagerly, he will try his best to achieve the goal without any spur. So I support teachers to encourage students to chase their own dream instead of assigned too much homework every day.
Moreover, teachers should give students more space to cultivate the variety of abilities. For instance, students can spend the majority of time on taking a part-time job, participating in group activities and attending social campaign and so forth. All of these will improve their competence such as how to communicate with guests when you work in the fast-food restaurant, how to look after the children who lose language ability in the welfare home, how to manage their time well and get the most important things at the first place. Different people have different talents. Inarguably, we should have rights to schedule our own time after school.
Admittedly, although it is under the scrutiny of teachers, there is no denying the fact that completing the assignments does good to our study. Nonetheless, for both students and teachers, it is a heavy burden in their daily life. Teachers may have to give up their spare time and sacrifice their inclination in order to provide timely feedbacks to students. There is no way around the fact that it is not the most proper and efficient way to improve the grades of students.
Due to the reasons mentioned above, I firmly hold the idea that everyday assignments may not be the best choice for students and teachers. Decided by multiple factors, the best way should consider these advantages and disadvantages comprehensively.

lotusily

youkymomo 发表于 2014-4-17 10:52
4.15独立There is no reason for people to be impolite（rude） to another person
High-speed changes of ...

改完啦，加油！

youkymomo

4.15独立There is no reason for people to be impolite（rude） to another person
High-speed changes of modern society has arose a large number of problems in humans’ daily life. Whether a person to be impolite to others with a lot of excuses is forgivable or not as the heated discussed issue has been controversial since it was raised up. From my own perspective, the one idea that I personally subscribe to, is that there is no excuse for a person who can treat others without manners. My conclusion will be demonstrated in different dimensions in the subsequent article.
First and the foremost, rude behaviors can not only make unhealthy impact on our own physical health but also on our mental health. In one hand, people often treat others in impolite manner since they are mad, anxiety, nervous or sadness. Thereby, it is actually for people to be affected by the bad mood of their own. And it may also influent the bodies’ secretion of hormone .On the other hand, with mental health, the behaviors lack of manners may cause an erratic emotion of people. It may easy to lead to the solution that people can not even consider or remember any things with clear mind. The passive emotion may stimulate them to do some things out of mind and control.
Moreover, treating another person through impolite approach can also affect the appraisal of others. Imagine your best friend quarreled with you for a divergence of view and push you during the process of the argument. It must affect the close relationship between you and your friend. In another occasion, if you said expression of your own views in rude manner to your parents, you may easily hurt the people who love you in deep heart and regretted after the moment you do it. Obviously, both the situation mentioned above can surely reduce the evaluation by the others for you. Generally, if you have an occupation, the impolite and impulsive actions may severely delay your promotion and block you to success.
Granted，It is not a proper fashion to release your pressure or express your own satisfaction which may hurt others who believe in you, rely on you or fall in love with you. Among so many practical measures, which you can take, such as yoga, boxing or long-distance race can also efficiently solve your emotional trouble.
Due to the above-mentioned reasons, we may safely arrive at the summary that to be rude to other people has a lot of disadvantages not only for your own but also for the relationship or the evaluation by others. What you make of your performance to others and which way do you select will decide nothing less than the future of your own life.

coffa

youkymomo 发表于 2014-4-14 20:57
4.13独立写作 Getting advice from friends who are older than youis more valuable than getting advice  ...

还好咯，加油

youkymomo

4.13独立写作

Getting advice from friends who are older than youis more valuable than getting advice from friends of your age.

Most of us absolutely have encountered challenges or puzzles that we can not settle them among ourselves. At this moment, a friend who can point out the path to guide us keep away the hardness by suggesting a good way to "know what to do" without going through a long process of generating and examining alternative solutions is all we need. Through this point of view, some people may incline to get advice from their friends who are the same age. But this idea and the one that I personally subscribe to, is that people who are older than us can provide us more valuable proposition.
The first and foremost, the more adversities people gone through, the more experience will be accumulated. A person who has little experience can not offer you an excellent suggestion which fit in with the condition in long term, but instead of the advice that is too emotional and naive. At a fundamental level, there must be a person, who has met the same problem like you, has overcome the troubles in some particular way. Only if you ask the correct person who has suffered the same matters, will the intractable problems be tackled and avoid wasting too much on figuring out the troubles.
Moreover, with the gradual fiercer growing competition in the society, the peers who are your competitors may not show you all the relevant information about the problems. To be more specific, some of them may lead you to the wrong way deliberately. You may be hard to believe this concept may be too abstract, let me raise a convincing example to break down this statement. When I was a fresh man, I participated the student union for developing my own ability of leadership. The chairman set a task for both me and another girl. However, when I ask the girl how to deal with the details of this task, she not only refused to answer my question, but also warned me not to steal her thunder. It left me an indelible memory which is so horrible and unforgivable. So I hold the concept that it is useless for us to get available suggestion through the mean of asking the people who are in the same age.
Nevertheless, the people who are in the same age may in the same ideological level and comprehensive ability, so it is easy for them to resonate with each other. Fundamentally, peers actually lack of experience to make a proposal of overcoming the difficulties.
To the conclusion, due to the above-mentioned reasons and expositions, we may safely arrive at the summary that the people who are older than us can provide more functional and experienced advice to help us get out of the mass.

youkymomo

chushidefeng 发表于 2014-4-14 11:33
独立写作 Compared to hiring famous teachers, the school should focus on improving facilities such as ...

嗯，谢谢批改，词汇量确实是我的大问题......

chushidefeng

独立写作 Compared to hiring famous teachers, the school should focus on improving facilities such as libraries and computer labs.
Have you ever considered that what element has had the most(改成which element，famous teachers or advanced facilities， has more) profound impact on children's study? For(去掉) all（改成most of ） children and parents tend to unconsciously or subconsciously incline to the idea that famous teachers are of great significant for the students to have a brilliant grade. Apparently, a school with a large number of famous teachers can surely lead the people to think that it is a better choice to send their children in this school. But compared with facilities improvement, I consent to the view of improving facilities to its best advantage.
The first and the foremost, famous teachers are not equal to qualified teachers. Admittedly, if a school desires to improve their education quality, all they have to face, is not only the student’s learning enthusiasm stimulation（改成the stimulation of students‘ learning enthusiam） and advanced（去掉） facilities improvement, but also an increasing in the number of teachers with abundant teaching experience. Although a teacher who is famous for his esoteric academic thesis or the other reasons, has successfully completed a large number of complicated researches and projects, is he adapted to assist the students to catch the point in the learning materials depends on his language competence and affinity.（需要修改） At bottle（？）, I have to emphasize that famous（改成fame） is（does） not means（mean） teaching experience.
In addition, more opportunity（opportunities） and space will be offered for students to practice after the facilities improvement（改成improvement of facilities比较好）. It goes without saying, knowledge begins with practice, and theoretical knowledge is acquired through practice and then must return to practice. As we all known, Practice is the sole criterion of truth. Only if the students will do some experiments or practice , will the knowledge be absorbed by the students.
Moreover, as for teachers, the character of responsible（responsibility） is equally important to the character of qualified. If I were a famous teacher, from my own perspective, I would prefer to spend most of my time on academic studies rather than teaching tasks. There is no way around the fact that hiring famous teacher, in a sense, is not actually benefit（beneficial） to the children’s study.
To the conclusion, it is rather superficial to simply say that hiring famous teacher is definitely good to students’ academic performance. Due to the above-mentioned reasons and expositions, we may safely arrive at the summary that the improvement of facilities can be the better choice to enhance performance.

ps. 思路清晰，但需积累词汇！加油！