新手上路 【作文求狠批】！小弱弱在这里先谢谢各位大神！！

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考了两次托福了，结果写作一直是21分儿上下，不知道该咋办了。。。哭。。。10月20号又要战了。。求大神帮忙批改批改吧。。。真诚的虚心的求教！！！
1.why do you think people attend college or university?

Have you ever been shined by the professional knowledge conveyed by a galaxy of prominent professors?Have you ever widen your horizon in the course of having a dialogue with yourcollege school mates? Have you ever caused a stir in your heart because ofeither an amazing relationship or an unforgettablebreak-up between you and your soul mate in the university? If all thosesituations mentioned above have appeared in your life, I think you have alreadyunderstood why people must go to university undeniable. From my perspective, a large proportion ofpeople attend their university mainly in two goals -- study and love.

First of all, after completing almost twenty years' fundamental education,for the desire of absorbing higher-level and comprehensive knowledge andskills, people choose to enter the university to pursue their academic dreams.During high school time, what students learn covers all ranges of fields, overall but notspecial, just like a glance at hundreds of fast-running cars  from the top of a skyscraper instead ofobserving just a few or a single one specifically. Everybody is learning math,physical education and English in high school. However, in the university,unlike that, students have the right to choose their major distinguishing fromothers, more importantly, they are fond of. For instance, one may concentrate on financefor the obsession to stocks and bonds, one can emphasize on history if he or she is a crazy worshipper of ChairmanMao, and one would contribute all the efforts to music provided that his or herguitar is just like a brother. What’s more, acquiring strong academic basis separates themselves from the crowd after graduation andin their career.

On the other hand, insearch of this big L in one's life dictionary, people go to universityto hunt for the love and their Mr or Ms Right who matches with themselves. Bythe age of attending college, as adults, it is the period that people somehowhave a mature and educated thoughts and values. Therefore, they may hold a moreserious attitude towards relationship and they are ready to shoulder the responsibility they are supposed to load whichconsequently provides them with a stable and long lasting relationship and areliable lover. Of course, "love is pain" is said by lots of peoplewho are torturing because of love. Sweet as love is, it also has a bittertaste. But to some degrees, lessons not only about academy but about how to maintaina relationship or how to love people can be learned by college students aswell. And that is going to play a significant role in their following life.

To sum it up, apparently, it is no doubt that university life makes people'life more complete and wonderful. Just imagine, after a fantastic lesson filledwith tremendous knowledge, lying on the lawn on campus, and having a littlesweet chat with lover, I think nothing is more fabulous than this moment inuniversity.

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Do you agree or disagree? The movies and TV programs made in one's own country are more interesting than the movies and TV programs made in other countries.

Have you ever been shocked at some certain foreign TV programs whose values and thoughts are completely opposite to yours? Have you ever almost fallen asleep in front of one of the top 50 comedy movies made in other countries? Have you ever burst out laughs again and again with your family, watching the traditional festival gala? If you have, you are definitely the domestic movies and TV program worshipers. As far as I concerned, the movies and TV programs are more interesting than those produced abroad.
First of all, there is no deny that culture gaps indeed barrel the association between foreign movies and TV programs and our own ones. Throughout centuries, every country and region develop teeming with totally distinguished memories, histories, cultures and background. It is normal for Chinese people to have a little bit difficulty to burst of laugh at every point accurately when watching American comedies. For instance, with the prevalence of The Bigbang Theory, one of the most popular American dramas recently, I start to watch it and have fun. But what happens subsequently and unfortunately is that I don't even give that a few laughs at all because I haven't seen the War Stars previously which those four scientists and Penny make jokes about all the time. As a result, I delete all the videos of the Big Bang Theory and continue my favorite--the Huanzhu Princess again, a noted Chinese Classical TV drama.
Furthermore, for youngsters who can always catch on with the worldwide vogue, it seems more probability to spot the interesting point in the course of seeing the movies and TV programs. However, people with middle age or even higher claim to have met the obstacles for pleasure and delight during watching foreign TV shows. So by watching national TV programs and movies, we are able to acquire the opportunity to have fun with our family, instead of being solo. The result of a recent survey conducted by People’ s Daily Newspaper of China suggests that 79 percent of objectives hold that it is the most agreeable time to watch the Spring Festival Evening Gala with families and friends. A fantastic movie or TV program enables us to gain happiness mood and flexible statement. But what's more, sharing with the people we love and we care about furnishes us more with the laughter and appreciation from families and friends which surprise us. So why not choose to watch the movies made in our own country?
To sum it up, with all the aspects taken into consideration, enjoying the foreign movies and TV programs simultaneously, we cannot abandon our pieces of national art works which not only delight ourselves but also lighten up the world of people closely around us.

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2.同不同意Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in the university.

Have you ever been delighted with the first buck of money acquired from your part-time job during collage? Have you ever obtained a galaxy of skills and knowledge from the part-time job just like hundreds of twinkle stars shining in your career after graduation? Have you ever rewarded a few close friends in the course of that period? If you have, you must be grateful to the part-time job during university time and cherish it for good. So, as far as I concerned, students should be allowed and advised to take their part-time job while they are in the university.

First of all, compared to the opportunities furnished by school, the experience they get, the trouble they handle, the people they get along with and the working environment and the atmosphere they confront when doing the part-time job contribute them with more realistic and more closely to society, which are definitely valuable for college students. According to the survey conducted by the South Weekend Newspaper in August,2013,approximately 87 percent of the students who successfully achieved their job-hunting desire claimed to have done some part-time jobs during university time which provided them with various of capabilities can be used in the procedure of interview and career . What a meaningful chance for students to take a part-time job!

Furthermore, to consider the circumstances more practically, what enables the students earn more money is taking a part-time job instead of working at campus. Perhaps salary paid by some school departments cannot reach some certain students' demand for life. I have a friend Jenny who quitted her tutor job in my university for the poor payment one year ago and now is one of the staffs in a small business corporation by doing some part-time jobs. She is satisfied with the money from the job so much, not only for solving her daily consume problem but also sharing some economic burden for her family. So why not take one and benefit from it?

To sum it up, those who are expecting a fabulous ending of university life and a glamorous beginning of career journey, remember to design the life blueprint with part-time jobs when studying in university.