5.18考托，劳驾各位大神批改下我的作文，求狠批求喷！！！！

wangmenghan123

tpo 2综合写作：

The reading passage explores the issue of that the best methds of accomplish a task is to assmble a group of people work together. The professor's lecture deals with the same topic. However, he thinks that using a group to finish one task is not a wise choice, which contradicts what the reading states. And in the lecture, he uses three specific points to support his idea.
First of all, even though the reading passage suggests that a group of people contributing on one task will work more quickly and efficient, the professor argues in the lecture that the process of the task don't move more quickly when there is a group of people working on it. This is because it takes long time to reach conseus about how to move the task. There will be a lot of meetings and arguments between the memeber of the group, which will be a waste of time and decrease the efficiency.
Moreover, despite the statement made in the reading that the group work will inspire the creative solutions, the professor contends that sometimes the creative ideas will be quickly drop out without discussion and the warning towards the wrong solutions will be ignores because there will be one or two people who are more influencial than others in the group. When a creative idea is dropped and the main leaders in the group show disagreement with it, the idea will be abandoned with deliberately consideration by other members in this group. And the wrong decisions will still be carried on despite some people's warning because they are supported by the influencial people in this group. And when the task failed, they will blamed every memeber in the group.
Finally, the professor assert that taking a part in the group will be very rewarding for the memebers, whereas the professor proves that the author's claim is indefensible by pointing out that since there are  lot of people who are on a free ride and don't contribute on the task, the members who provde a lot ideas and didcate themselves in the task will have  the oppsite attitude of what the reading mentiones because people will reconginze the success as a whole and no single name will be mentioned.
In concluison, the professor clearly identifies the weakness in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the central agument in the reading is incorrect.

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Should government support artists or should artists support themselves?


The issue that whether the government should fund the artists or not has been a heated topic for the public since it has been raised up. Some supporter express their opinion that often the greatest artists in their time can't be appreciated by the wide public, which lead to the unpopularity of the works and they can depend on the art to make a living, such as Van Gogh, the famous painter who was admitted by years after his death. It is unfair and make other artists very frustrated and unconfident.  Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, the disadvantages of the proposal will outweigh its advantages.

First of all, the government’s basic task and what it promises to the public are to make sure every citizen in this country can meet their basic needs to earn a living. Since there are too many urgent problems, such as the educational facilities for the youth of the country is still in short and thousands of people are unemployed and can't buy enough food to eat or afford an apartment to live in, unsolved in the society, it is improper and cruel to fund the artists to produce their art work, which nearly means nothing to the people who are starving and struggling in the difficult living conditions. This action will further the polarization of the society where the rich can be satisfied with all the needs, physically or psychologically, while the poor attract no attention from the government. And clearly it won't help to build a harmonious and prosperous society.

Moreover, the artists create their work to express their feelings and thoughts about everything, such as the society, the love and the anger, to get appreciation and sense of accomplishment through inspire the same feelings from the audience. They will feel more confident and proud if they earn a living from the income of their artwork because it means more than money but also the confirmation from another individual who share the same feeling and idea rather than depending on the financial assistance from the government. It seems an insult to the artist to accept the mercy from the government and use the taxers' money without their appreciation for their artwork.

Finally, it is exactly the freedom of the expression of the individual artist about what they think and believe about the whole society and the human beings that make these artwork so precious. If the government choose which artist to fund and this would somehow bring the political impact on the artists' work. The pureness of the art can be ruined and it would never be as perfect as it should be. When the artworks become the tools of the government to convey their political ideas, probably the situation of the autocracy government will happen in the future and the democracy nowadays will never exist and they will deprive us of the freedom, which is pursued by everyone.  What a disaster it will be!

In accordance to the three points displayed in the passage, we can convincingly conclude that it would be a wiser and more reasonable choice to allow the artists to support themselves rather than supporting by the government.

wangmenghan123

It is more important for schools to fund their students' social activities than to improve students' meals.

The issue that whether it is more important for schools to fund student's activities than to improve students' meals has been a heated topic for the public and the educational experts since it has been raised. Some supporters of the social activities found it be more essential because they think the school should pay more attention about the students' well-around development than the food qualities. Nevertheless, I disagree with that opinion and think it as an opposite way. Specific supporting points in different perspectives are displayed in the passage to demonstrate my opinion.  

First of all, the meals directly determine the health of the students, which are the foundation of all their activities including the social participation and the performance of their study. When trying to figure an effective method to solve the problem, I think dealing with it from the principle and the original reason will be the perfect and helpful. If the students don't get the healthy and enough food, they won't have the energy to take part in their task and all kinds of relating events, and that's not we expect from the future generation of the whole country and the whole world. Therefore, from what was mentioned above, we can conclude that improving the meals of the students will benefit them from the basic level and make sure everything involved keep running as it supposed to be.

Moreover, the student's primary task is to focus on their study, It is more important for schools to fund their students' social activities than to improve students' meals.


Moreover, the student's primary task is to focus on their study, obtain knowledge from the teachers and the books and then be well-prepared for their future role in the society. It is undeniable that the social activities take crucial parts to build the students into the well-rounded developed brilliant young people, however, we can't ignore the fact that it is not the principle demand but the compliment task for the schools to help the students better involved in the social activities. It's more like the homework and the students can complete this task on their own to figure out the answer. What's more, the students can try to get finical assistance from the social resources such as getting money from the companies. I have the similar experience to apply finical assistance from one big company successfully by promising them to make advertisement for the the product in the school and this experience is very valuable because it improve my skills of communicating and negotiating with others in real business.

Finally, it is more practical and fair for the school to take the measures into fact. Deciding which activities to fund can be a hard thing and will cause a lot of problems such as the complaints from the students about the fairness of the evaluating process. Also, as eating is a basic needs for everybody, improving meals will benefit all the students and more easy to carry out in the school.

In accordance to the three points made in the passage, we can powerfully conclude the conclusion that it is more important for the school to improve the meals rather that their social activities.  

obtain knowledge from the teachers and the books and then be well-prepared for their future role in the society. It is undeniable that the social activities take crucial parts to build the students into the well-rounded developed brilliant young people, however, we can't ignore the fact that it is not the principle demand but the compliment task for the schools to help the students better involved in the social activities. It's more like the homework and the students can complete this task on their own to figure out the answer. What's more, the students can try to get financial assistance from the social resources such as getting money from the companies. I had the experience of applying for financial assistance from one big company successfully by promising them to make the advertisement for the product in the school and this experience is very valuable because it improve my skills of communicating and negotiating with others in real business.

Finally, it is more practical and fair for the school to take the measures into fact. Deciding which activities to fund can be a hard thing and will cause a lot of problems such as the complaints from the students about the fairness of the evaluation process. Also, as eating is a basic need for everybody, improving meals will benefit all the students and is more easy to carry out in the school.

In accordance with the three points made in the passage, we can powerfully conclude that it is more important for the school to improve the meals rather than their social activities.  

wangmenghan123

The reading passage explores the issue of the reliability of the memoir of the Chevalier and the professor in the lecture deals with the same topic. Nevertheless, she contends that the contents of the memoir are pretty reliable, which clearly contradicts with the reading. Specific points are displayed in the lecture to defend her view.

First of all, although the author of the article suggests that the Chevalier is not as wealthy as he mentioned in the memoir when living in Switz due to the evidence that he borrowed a considerable amount of money from a friend, the lecturer disprove it powerfully. She claims that borrowing money from others doesn't necessarily means the poor of Chevalier, since he spent huge amounts of money on the parties and gambling, it needs time to change the properties into the actual cash thus it is pretty reasonable to borrow money from friends before the arrive of the actual money.

Secondly, concerning the point made in the article that a man can't remember all the details of a conversation after so many years, the professor mentions that Chevalier has the habit to wrote the meaningful and exciting things such as the conversation with a celebrity down exactly. And probably he used the dairy to remind him of every detail in the process of writing the memoir.

Finally, despite the reading casts doubt on that by using a piece of metal instead of bribing the jailers to escape from the prison caused Chevalier had influenced friends on politics, the lecturer cracks the issue by pointing out that there are other people in jail, who had even more friends working in politics but didn't get themselves out of the prison. What's also worth mentioning is the proof about the room Chevalier stayed had been repaired after the date Chevalier escaped, which serves a powerful explanation of the way he escaped from the prison.

wangmenghan123

The issue that whether young people should make their own choices without the guidance of the parents has been controversial among the public since it had been raised up. Others may say the relationships between the parents and their children are durable and never changed since the first human being existed in the world and today young people also turn to their parents for help and advice when there are big decisions to make. Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, young people today are more independent and they tend to make their own decisions and live in the ways following their heart. Specific points are displayed to further discussion of my viewpoints.

First of all, as people in modern society are more convinced of education's value for the young, thousands of colleges are built to give almost everyone the equal access to knowledge. We don't depend on the experience from the parents because we already are well-prepared for the challenges of the life and are tough and wise enough to make the decisions all by ourselves through gaining essential lessons and life wisdom from our teachers, who experienced the same thing as our parents and are even more professional when solving certain problems than our parents do.For me, when I am struggling about which major to choose in college, I will consult the professor, who is an expert in this field instead of asking my parents.

What's more, the development of the Internet technology and the popularity of the computer also contribute to the less dependable of the parents when their young children are making decisions. There are tons of information updating on the Internet and everyone have the access to learn from that and pick up the useful information.When my parents were young, they may ask my grandparents about which job to choose when they received many offers. However, when it's my turn, I, as a representation of this generation will search all the information about the target companies, list all the pros and cons,comprehensively consider all the factor, turn to parents, friends and teachers for advice and then make my own decisions.

wangmenghan123

The issue that whether young people should make their own choices without the guidence of the parents has been a heated topic since it was raised up. Others may say the realtionships between the parents and their children are durable and never changed since the first human being exists in the world and today young people also turn to their parents for help and advices when there are big decisions to make. Neverthelss, as far as I am concerned, young people today are more indepedent and they tend to make their own decision and live in the ways follow their heart. Specific points are displayed to further decision of my viewpoints.

First of all, as the modern society are more convinced of the value of education for the youngth, thousands of colloge school are build to give almost everyone the equal access to the knowledge. We don't depend on the experience from the parents because we already are well-prepared for the challenges of the life and are tough and wise enough to make the decision all by ourselves through gaining essential lessons and life wisdom from our teachers, who experienced the same thing as our parents and even more professional when solving certain problems than our parents.For me, when I am struggling about which major to choose in college, I will consult the related professor, who is an expert in this field instead of asking my parents.

What's more, the development of the Internet technology and the popularity of the computer also contribute to the less dependable of the parents when their young children are making decisions. There are tons of information undating on the Internet and everyone have the access to learn from that and pick up the useful information.When my parents were young, they may ask my grandparents about which company to choose when they recieve offers. However, when it's my turn, I, as a representive of this generation will search all the information about the target companies, list all the pros and cons,comprehensively considering all the factor, turn to parents, friends and teachers for advice and then make my own decision.

Finally, as the wide-spreaded of the democracy, people are more indepedent and consider making own decisions is the basic rights of a citizen even the parents can't deprive the sarced right one born with. The freedom to choose is the essential value of the American society and giving their children enough space to decide their future and life pattern is a respect to them. The story of Romeo and Juliet is very rare today because everyone has the right to choose who they fall in love with and who they want to spend the whole life with.

In accordance to the three specific evidence displayed in the passage, we can convincingly conclude that young people today are better able to make decision in their life due to a more democratic society, the rapid development of the modern technology and the more opportunities to obtain further education.

wangmenghan123

The reading passage explores the issue of the reliability of the memoir of the Chevalier and the professor in the lecture deals with the same topic. Nevertheless, she contends that the content of the memoir is pretty reliable. Specific points are displayed in the lecture to defend her standpoint.

First of all, altough the author of the article suggests that the Chevalier isn't not as wealthy as he mentioned in the menoir when living in Switz due to the evidence that he borrowed considerable amount of money from a friend, the lecturer disprove it powerfully. She claim that borrowing money from others doesn't necessarily means the poorness of Chevalier, since he spend huge money on parties and gambling, it needs time to change the properties into the actual cash thus it is pretty reasonable to borrow money from friends before the arrive of the actual money.

Secondly, concerning the point made in the article that a man can't remeber all the details of a conversation after so many years, the professor mentions that Chevalier has the habit to wrote the meaingful and exciting things such as the conversation with a celebrity down exactly. And probably he used the dairy book to remind him every details in the process of writing the memoir.

Finally, despite the reading casts doubt on that by using a piece of metal instead of bribing the jailers to escape from the prison caused Chevalier had influenced friends on politics, he professor dispute the hypothesis by pointing out that there are other people in jail, who has even more friend working in politics, who didn't get themselves out of the prison. What also worth mentioning is that proofs about the room Chevalier stayed had been repaired after the date Chevalier escaped, which serves a powerful explanation of the way he escaped from the prison.

Concluding from all three aspects in the passage, the professor powerfully demonstrate that incorrectness of the conclusion made in the reading passage

wangmenghan123

The issue that whether young people should make their own choices without the guidence of the parents has been a heated topic since it was raised up. Others may say the realtionships between the parents and their children are durable and never changed since the first human being exists in the world and today young people also turn to their parents for help and advices when there are big decisions to make. Neverthelss, as far as I am concerned, young people today are more indepedent and they tend to make their own decision and live in the ways follow their heart. Specific points are displayed to further decision of my viewpoints.

First of all, as the modern society are more convinced of the value of education for the youngth, thousands of colloge school are build to give almost everyone the equal access to the knowledge. We don't depend on the experience from the parents because we already are well-prepared for the challenges of the life and are tough and wise enough to make the decision all by ourselves through gaining essential lessons and life wisdom from our teachers, who experienced the same thing as our parents and even more professional when solving certain problems than our parents.For me, when I am struggling about which major to choose in college, I will consult the related professor, who is an expert in this field instead of asking my parents.

What's more, the development of the Internet technology and the popularity of the computer also contribute to the less dependable of the parents when their young children are making decisions. There are tons of information undating on the Internet and everyone have the access to learn from that and pick up the useful information.When my parents were young, they may ask my grandparents about which company to choose when they recieve offers. However, when it's my turn, I, as a representive of this generation will search all the information about the target companies, list all the pros and cons,comprehensively considering all the factor, turn to parents, friends and teachers for advice and then make my own decision.

Finally, as the wide-spreaded of the democracy, people are more indepedent and consider making own decisions is the basic rights of a citizen even the parents can't deprive the sarced right one born with. The freedom to choose is the essential value of the American society and giving their children enough space to decide their future and life pattern is a respect to them. The story of Romeo and Juliet is very rare today because everyone has the right to choose who they fall in love with and who they want to spend the whole life with.

In accordance to the three specific evidence displayed in the passage, we can convincingly conclude that young people today are better able to make decision in their life due to a more democratic society, the rapid development of the modern technology and the more opportunities to obtain further education.

wangmenghan123

易错单词  foreign  foreign foreign foreign foreign      several several several several several several several several several foreign foreign foreign foreign foreign foreign   be worth doing   it is worth a try   a must 一般用于口语中   trustworthy=dependable

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The reading passage explores the issue that the wood companies don't need to get an eco-certification to attract more customers and the professor in the lecture deals with the same topic. Nevertheless, the professor contends that it can benefit the wood companies in America to gain a eco-certification, which clearly contradicts the author's standpoint. Three points are displayed in the lecture to support his view.

First of all, concerning the first point made in the passage that the American customers don't trust the content of the advertisement due to the excessive claims in general, the lecturer defends his opinion by stating that not all the information provided in the advertisement are treated as the same. Customers in America often find the certification from an independent consumer organization extremely trustworthy. Therefore, it is worth a try for these wood companies to attract more customers and expand the market share.

Moreover, although the price of the woods will be higher just as what the reading material indicates, the factors that determine whether the customer will purchase one product aren't narrowing to the price. Since it won't cost that much to obtain a certification, the wood price will increase nearly five percent, which the customer can accept as a small price to buy eco-certified product because the Americans are increasingly convinced by the value of protecting the environment.

Finally, the professor raises the issue that it is not the foreign market but the foreign competitors that the local woods companies need to worry about, which disproves the statement of the reading that it wouldn't make any sense getting a certificate because their market are mainly on local. These wood companies should catch the pace of the world, avoiding the happening of that situation--the eco-concerned American customers are attracted by the products from foreign countries and the foreign competitors crowd into the local market and take the share of the cake.

In conclusion, the lecturer exploits several weaknesses in the reading material and powerfully demonstrates that the central supporting ideas of it are incorrect.