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argument 1,第一次求修改,谢谢!!!

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楼主
发表于 2013-1-28 14:06:21 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |正序浏览 |阅读模式
请求那位大侠帮帮我修改!2月19日就要考了。对作文很没有自信。


In the argument presented above, the author reached the conclusion that Palean baskets are not unique. Evidences, including the facts that similar baskets were found in other places and it is unlikely that Paleans were possible to reach there,  are provided to support the idea. At first glance, many people may think that the reasoning is complete; however, a careful examination would reveal the lack of evidence in the argument.
First of all, the author’s argument is only valid when the conditions of the Brim River remain the same since the prehistoric age. However, this assumption is not necessary true. Although the River is too wide and deep to cross without the boats now, it may be a very small and shallow creek in the ancient time so that people can go to the opposite side of the river very easily. It is apparent that we need further examination to determine the characteristics of the river when Palean people were alive. The argument will remain unwarranted before new evidence proving the river’s condition at the ancient days is analyzed.
Alongside, the fact that no Palean boats have been found is shown in order to support the conclusion. This argument depends on the assumption that people must have to find some remedies of the boats if there existed boats. Yet, credible evidences have not been provided to substantiate the assumption. It is totally possible that all the boats have been rotten down as time passed. As the boats are expected to made of woods, the possibility of decay is high. The author needs to research further to determine if tools expected to be used for the construction of boats have been found. Unless the author shows sufficient evidence denying the possibility of the decay, it may be too hasty to confirm that the claim is trustworthy.
The last but not the least, the argument is dependent on the assumption that the only way people living in the other area getting the baskets are directly from Palean people. On the surface, people may think that the assumption is so common that no specific evidence is needed. However, the assumption is highly arguable. It is possible that Palean buckets may dispersed to many locations through the trading. A merchandiser may bought the Palean buckets at the Palea village and sell them in Lithos. To avoid any controversy in the reasoning, the arguer must explain why these possibilities are unlikely by analyzing specific evidence and testing if the assumption is stable.
In summary, the evidence cited in the argument is not strong enough for the arguer to reach the conclusion. To make it without fallacy, the arguer would have to provide more evidences as indicated above to justify his assumptions.
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板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2013-1-30 07:28:36 | 只看该作者

谢谢普渡哥!!!

这作文普渡哥判定一下能有几分?
沙发
发表于 2013-1-29 08:10:07 | 只看该作者
In summary, the evidence cited in the argument is not strong enough for the arguer to reach the conclusion.

不是一个evidence吧?
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