twe No.112,求指教

Emilyhua

大声感谢

看来还是要多练．．．．

likui

首先请你下次贴上来之前先过一遍Office word的【拼写与语法】自动更正功能，文章里有不少拼写和英文格式的错误。而且断句不利。一句（主、谓、宾）就是一句，几套主谓宾放一起什么意思？要么用从句，要么连词。譬如，Obviously, the students studying at schools have more oppotunity to learn the discipline, the teacher can let them know how to behave themselves ;how to show respect to their parents and how to express manner properly in certain situations.就极其之晦涩。改成Obviously, with the help of teachers, the students studying at schools have more opportunities to learn disciplines, such as showing respect to their parents and expressing manner properly in certain situations.

The way of how to educate their children become (becomes) the priority issue for many parents. Facing this controversial questions (question), different people will present different answers according to their respective experience and personal preference. Some people hold the view that children should begin their formal education at a very early age; however other people prefer that young children should spend most of time playing. In my point of view, I would rather agree with the former than the latter, following is the my reasons. (And I will elaborate my reasons as follows.)

Obviously, the students studying at schools have more opportunity (opportunities) to learn the discipline, the teacher can let them know how to behave themselves ;how to show respect to their parents and how to express manner properly in certain situations.(如上修改) a particular example for this is my 5 years old younger sister, It is amazing that she becomes an elegant and polite girl since she started her school education. (Take my younger sister as an example; it is amazing that she is being more and more elegant and polite after she started her school education. 你用了since就和时态不一致了。)

Besides the manners education that the students learn from the formal school, another benefit is that children can develop their independent personality at their early age. Most of parents pay too much attention (to) their children at home, Therefore these “little king or queen” (little kings and queens) are so spoiled (effeminate) that they think people would take care of everything for them. Whereas, at the new environment--school, no one (will) solve their problems any more. They have to be responsible for their own things and have to depend on their own ability (themselves).

In addition, early age of children is the golden period to acquire certain kind of knowledge. Just like many experts' suggestion,(as many experts suggests,) children should start to learn foreign language as soon as possible.

Although, there is no denying the fact that playing is also a critical element in the development of children’s character. As far as I am concerned, studying in school has more advantages than playing. Undoubtedly, Studying provide at least three important courses -- esteem, responsibility and language skills at their early age.  

最后两段其实还是一个reason，并为一段比较好，这样也有了个让步。最后一段的总结并不好，再扩充一下。

Admittedly, we cannot deny that playing is also a critical element influenced the development of children’s characters. As far as I concerned, studying in school has more advantages than playing, because early age of children is the golden period to acquire certain kinds of knowledge. Just as many educational experts suggested, it will be more beneficial if children learn foreign language as soon as possible.

In sum, undoubtedly, studying provide children with three important courses as esteem, responsibility and language skills at their early age. ---blabra blabra---

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-11-21 13:11:26编辑过]

Emilyhua

No.112

some people think that children should begin their formal education as a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies ,others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing ,compare these two views,which view do you agree with.Why?

The way of how to educate their children become the priority issue for many parents.Facing thiscontroversial questions,different people will present different answers according to their respective experience and personal preference.some people hold the view that children should begin their formal education at a very earlyage;however other people prefer that young children should spend most of time playing.In my point of view,I would rather agree with the former than the latter,following is the my reasons.

Obviously,the students studying at schools have more oppotunity to learn the discipline,the teacher can let them know how to behave themselves ;how to show respect to their parents and how to express manner properly in certain situations. a particular example for this is my 5 years old younger sister,It is amazing that she becomes an elegent and polite girl since she started her school education.

Besides the manners education that the students learn from the formal school,another benefit is that children can develop their independent personality at their early age.Most of parents pay too much attention their children at home,Thereforethese"little king or queen"are so spoiled that they think people would take care of everything for them.Whereas ,at the new envoirment--school,no one solve their problems any more.they have to be responsible for their own things and have to depend on their own ability.

In addition ,early age of children is the golden period to acquire certain kind of knowledge.Just like many experts' suggestion,children should start to learn foreign language as soon as possible.

Although,there is no denying the fact that playing is also a critical element in the development of chidren's character.As far as I am concerned,studying in school has more advantages than playing.Undoubtedly,Studying provide at least three important courses -- esteem,responsibility and language skills at their early age.