我的烂作文-ISSUE94 请帮助诊断

yefeng126

Issue: 94 The effectiveness of a country's leaders is best measured by examining the well-being of that country's citizens.
国家领导工作效能最好通过国民的安乐来评判。

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        I basically agree with the claim that the effectiveness of a country’s leaders can be measured by examining the well-being of the country’s citizens. But in my opinion, the well-being of the citizens is just one important aspect of measuring the effectiveness of the leaders, to best evaluate the leader’s work, we should also consider other important aspect such as environment and good ecology 、healthy economic prosperity and the advances & progress in media、technology、 and arts.

   Admittedly, one of the most urgent responsibilities of the country’s leaders is just lead their people to step into a better life conditions. Good and opulent food, warm and cozy living and convenient medical systems are the basic assurance for the citizen’s good life. If the leaders of one country can manage to provide their people with all of these material opulence, they will be naturally adorned by citizens and their hardworking will be acknowledged by people. Accordingly, from this aspect, we can say that leaders of this country are effective in their work of improving people’s wellbeings. For example, Deng Xiaoping, the top designer of reforming and opening of China in 1980’s, greatly improved the living conditions of most Chinese people, especially in the South of China, by leading rapid economic development. We can not deny the claim that Deng Xiaoping is one of the most effective leaders of China since 1945.

  However, sometimes the well-being of the citizens can not be the best and real method to measure the effectiveness of the leaders. To better evaluate the effectiveness of the leaders, we should focus more about other aspects relating to the ostensible thriving well-beings such as environment and ecology. Because we can not exclude that some leaders could sacrifice the good environment to pursue a short time object of fast economic development, so as to provide their people with better material living conditions temporally, just because they want to acquire some acclaims in short time. In this situation, maybe the people are enjoining their ostensible “better” lives, but actually their long-term living conditions is adversely deteriorating. Another example, before the Debts crisis, the well-being of the Greece people is very well, they enjoy short working time and high salary and even several months holidays with salary to travel. But when Greece can not afford the enormous expense by continuing borrowing money from other countries, the well-being of their people plunged to the bottom over one night. This ostensible great well-being can not be the persuasive method to measure their leaders’ effectiveness.

 Moreover, to measure the effectiveness of one country’s leaders, it is equally important and necessary to pay attention to the advances and progress in others fields, such as media freedom, technology innovation, and artist achievements . Because these aspects can reflect the spiritual world of the citizens. If medias can freely articulate their ideas about the politics、society、and culture, technology innovation are booming and thriving , artist achievements can be created one by one, the spirit of the citizens must be racy and free, the overall society must be in a good circulation, and so the leaders of the country must be most effective.

In sum, though the true well-being is one important method to measure the effectiveness of one country’s leaders, at the same time we should pay attention to environment and ecology accompanying with the material improvement as well as the long-run good economic conditions, additionally we can not overlook other equally important aspects such as media freedom、technology innovation and artist achievements.  (589 words, 2hours)

yefeng126

谢谢竹林斑竹这么辛苦批作文，速度够快。
昨天好不容易写完就匆匆粘上来了，今早还想起来存在一些挺明显的用词错误呢。
不过看到你的鼓励，我就不沮丧了。
我要加油好好自己再下大力气改改作文! 再次谢斑竹呵。

竹林中人

I basically agree with the claim that the effectiveness ofa country’s leaders can be measured by examining the well-being of thecountry’s citizens. But in my opinion, the well-being of the citizens is justone important aspect of measuring the effectiveness of the leaders, to bestevaluate the leader’s work, we should also consider other important aspect suchas environment and good ecology 、healthy economicprosperity and the advances & progress in media、technology、 and arts.

  Admittedly, one of the most urgentresponsibilities of the country’s leaders is just to lead their peopleto step into a better life conditions. Good and opulent food, warm and cozyliving and convenient medical systems are the basic assurance for the citizen’sgood life. If the leaders of one country can manage to provide their peoplewith all of these material opulence复数的these跟opulence是否搭配, they willbe naturally adorned by citizens and their hardworking will be acknowledged bypeople. Accordingly, from this aspect, we can say that leaders of this countryare effective in their work of improving people’s well-beings. For example,Deng Xiaoping, the top designer of reforming and opening of China in1980’s, greatly improved the living conditions of most Chinese people,especially in the South of China, by leading rapid economic development. We cannot deny the claim that Deng Xiaoping is one of the most effective leaders of China
since1945.

 However, sometimes the well-being of thecitizens can not be the best and real method to measure the effectiveness ofthe leaders. To better evaluate the effectiveness of the leaders, we shouldfocus more about other aspects relating to the ostensible thriving well-beingssuch as environment and ecology. Because we can not exclude that some leaderscould sacrifice the good environment to pursue a short time object of fasteconomic development, so as to provide their people with better material livingconditions temporally, just because they want to acquire some acclaims in shorttime. In this situation, maybe the people are enjoining their ostensible“better” lives, but actually their long-term living conditions is adverselydeteriorating. Another example, before the Debts crisis, the well-being of the Greece peopleis very well, they enjoy short working time and high salary and even severalmonths holidays with salary to travel. But when Greece can not afford the enormousexpense by continuing borrowing money from other countries, the well-being oftheir people plunged to the bottom over one night. This ostensible greatwell-being can not be the persuasive method to measure their leaders’effectiveness.

Moreover, to measure the effectiveness ofone country’s leaders, it is equally important and necessary to pay attentionto the advances and progress in others fields, such as media freedom,technology innovation, and artist achievements. Because these aspects canreflect the spiritual world of the citizens. If medias can freely articulatetheir ideas about the politics、society、and culture,technology innovation are booming and thriving , artist achievements can becreated one by one, the spirit of the citizens must be racy and free, theoverall society must be in a good circulation, and so the leaders of thecountry must be most effective.

In sum, though the true well-being is oneimportant method to measure the effectiveness of one country’s leaders, at thesame time we should pay attention to environment and ecology accompanying withthe material improvement as well as the long-run good economic conditions,additionally we can not overlook other equally important aspects such as mediafreedom、technologyinnovation and artist achievements. 写的还不错，考虑全面。加油