[写作小分队]crystal的作文贴，求建议，求进步

Crystal的秋天

昨天刚加入，写了一版，但是没有权限发上来，今天补发，规定时间内敲完，字数还有待提高
11.2 综合

To protect a type of evergreen trees, three possible solutions have been put out by experts to address the decline of Torreya. However, in the lecture, the professor claims that none of them can be useful to achieve that goal. She defused the possibilities listed in the passage one by one.

Firstly, the first option is to reestablish Torreya in the same location with a specific microclimate. But, according to the professor, the climate condition in this region has been totally changed, for the reason of global warming, which makes the over temper all over the world and the wetland in Florida has been drained, causing the area to be much dries. The condition in the area nowadays is not suitable for the trees to survive anymore.

Secondly, moving Torreya to an entirely different area can bring in many unpredicted results. As the professor said, one kind of tree called Black Locust killed many species of trees in the north when it had been moved northwards. To make the situation worse, those species of trees have already been in danger. Introducing Torreya may also lead to this kind of unexpected problems.

Finally, the last option to preserve Torreya in research center is also not useful because the research center is not able to provide the large capacity for large genetically diverse, which is necessary for the trees to survive against diseases.

To sum up, all the trees options presented in the reading passage is not practical in the real situation. Not only are they unable to protect Torreya from decline, but also they can cause more losses in the end.

11.2独立
People should buy things made in their own country;even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else

提高产品质量
更多的选择
价格更加便宜，提高了消费者的购买力，没有必要多花钱

Nowadays, due to the opening reform of many countries, the boundaries of countries have been more and more ambiguous. However, there is a big issue coming up that whether people should buy their domestic things, even the price is higher than same things made in other countries. As far as I am concerned, I hold the positive view for the free exchange of goods and services internationally, by the same token, people needn't protect their domestic things from competition with others for the following reasons.

Firstly, opening the gate of countries allows technology to flow among different countries, which will improve the qualities of basket of goods people can consume. For example, some countries like German and Japan have more advantages in producing digit products. When other countries borrow the technology from them, it is a much easier and cheaper way to improve their domestic products.

Secondly, sharing the products provides people more choices. For instance, before the reform of opening in China, people consume all the things produced domestic, wasting those overproduced, such as clothes, cotton, and lacking those that cannot be produced due to the limit of technology, like the Internet. It is a huge waste of resources in the world. Thanks to the police of opening reform, Chinese people can enjoy the convenience of Internet, charting and making friends with people from all over the world, and at the same time, western countries can purchase clothes importing from China much cheaper.

Finally, it is of no necessity to spend excess money to buy the same goods which are available in other areas. Most importantly, it is not a wise to decrease the purchasing power of people to protect domestic goods from competition in the world. Consumers have the rights to choose what they want to buy. Why should they spend more money to buy something that is not superior for them?

To sum up, considering consumers' interest and countries' technology improvements, there is no need for people to only buy goods domestically. Governments have not rights to help their people make the choice. Besides, wise people are always those who make full use of their money, to maximize their own interest. Seeing from the other angle, the more competition there are, the stronger the motivation the producer will have to provide us better products.

小滋滋

The reading passage casts light on the issue whether the environmental pollutionor attacks by predators have has the more possibilities that lead to the decline ofsea otter population. The professor covers the same topic, however, with a totallyopposite attitude. According to the professor, decline of sea otter populationsare is more likely caused by being attacked by predators. Likewise, the professor utilizes three distinctivepoints to justify his perspectives.

First and foremost, theprofessor refutes the idea in the reading passage that the industrial chemicalstested in the water samples could contribute to the otters' death. On thecontrary, the professor contends that we cannot make this conclusion because no dead otters were found on the beaches. To be specific, if the otters were killed by pollution, they should bevisible in the beaches. While, thephenomenon can be explained by predators attack theory. Evidently, theprofessor's idea is incompatible with the reading passage.

Moreover, as well defined as the point made in thereading, the professor once again contradicts with the reading by assertingthat the because of the human hunters, otters' predators have to change theirdiet. Without enough large animals toeat, they will turn to small animals. That's (the reason) why smallanimals are also declining. Having taken the human’s intervention intoconsideration, the professor doubts the correctness of the reading passage.

In addition, the reading passage points out that unevenpattern of otter decline are induced by the different population distribution.The professor challenges the final down. He asserts that some locations are notaccessible to their predators. As a result, the number of otters in those places do not show(otter不能发出show的动作) a decline. Clearly, the credibility of the conception in the reading begins toshrink when thinking about the characteristic of both otters and theirpredators pinpointed by the professor.  

To sum up, the professor precisely discerns the drawbacksof the reading and convincingly reveals that the fundamental argument in thereading needs to be reexamined with close scrutiny.

总体很好啦，注意一下一些语法和句法的用法就好啦…@@

Crystal的秋天

The reading passage casts light on the whether the environmental pollutionor attacks by predators have the more possibilities that lead to the decline ofsea otter population. The professor covers the same topic, however, with a totallyopposite attitude. According to the professor, decline of sea otter populationsare more likely caused by being attacked by predators. Likewise, the professor utilizes three distinctivepoints to justify his perspectives.

First and foremost, theprofessor refutes the idea in the reading passage that the industrial chemicalstested in the water samples could contribute to the otters' death. On thecontrary, the professor contends that we cannot make this conclusion because nodead otters were found on the beaches. To be specific, if the otters were killed by pollution, they should bevisible in the beaches. While, thephenomenon can be explained by predators attack theory. Evidently, theprofessor's idea is incompatible with the reading passage.

Moreover, as well defined as the point made in thereading, the professor once again contradicts with the reading by assertingthat the because of the human hunters, otters' predators have to change theirdiet. Without enough large animals toeat, they will turn to small animals. That's why smallanimals are also declining. Having taken the human’s intervention intoconsideration, the professor doubts the correctness of the reading passage.

In addition, the reading passage points out that unevenpattern of otter decline are induced by the different population distribution.The professor challenges the final down. He asserts that some locations are notaccessible to their predators. As a result, otters in those places do not showa decline. Clearly, the credibility of the conception in the reading begins toshrink when thinking about the characteristic of both otters and theirpredators pinpointed by the professor.  

To sum up, the professor precisely discerns the drawbacksof the reading and convincingly reveals that the fundamental argument in thereading needs to be reexamined with close scrutiny.

未知未来2

Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to people as success. Despite various responses people may have concerning this issue regarding that whether people should be like others or be different from everyone else. The response in the China Daily has a boilerplate answer: successful people are always showing outstanding behaviors in their young age. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that in order to succeed people should be different from others.


First and foremost, people who are different are much easier to be noticed by others. As my brother's experience aptly illustrates, he, who got bad academic performance in university, is not a traditionally good student in China. Quitting his university life, he had to find a job. However,(后面还有一个however, 这个不要吧) it seemed that he failed at the time being in surrounding people's eyes. However, no one called up his unique advantage of marketing skills. Since he was young, he has been very active in analyzing people's reaction during sales, both from the angle of salespersons and customers and then making a conclusion about how to satisfy customers' demand in different ways .For a young man, it is surely valuable to master the skills which catch（caught） the sight of his boss to recruit him into a big PR company in our country and have（had） an outstanding working performance(这句是不是应该用过去式，应该后面写的是现在). At present, he owns his own company. Clearly, successful people should at least have a different point from others.


Moreover, another point worth being mentioned is that people who are different from others are more creative, which is very important in certain field. For instance, the Bill Gates, a famous businessman in our world always thought out of diverse and special solutions to solve problems when he operated his company. Just the creativity helps him to make a big success in this era.


In addition, people who are different from others are intelligent enough to avoid imitation others(感觉应该是avoid imitating others 或者avoid imitation，), which may lead to priority problem. For example, a (an) advertisement company in our province collapsed due to the reason that one designer in this company copied a plan of the other company, in the end, not only failing to earn profits, but also causing the whole company and himself to lose the reputation in this field.（这句话好长，可以分成两句写） The lesson from the case is that keep different is essential to people, especially in some kind of careers.


After ruminating over all the three factors, it is of advantageous (is of + n= adj 这里应该用个名词) for us to make a decision alone. I would like to note that in order to become success（应该用adj. successful） people should avoid imitating others, but stay different from others.

楼主的例子都很充实，句子变化也很多，只有一个建议 貌似介绍人的时候 人，插入语，。。。。。。的句式有点多~~可以换成 as a famous businessman in our world, Bill Gates… 或者别的.    学习了！

Crystal的秋天

Perhaps no issue in this worldis as significant to people as success. Despite various responses people mayhave concerning this issue regarding that whether people should be like othersor be different from everyone else. The response in the China Daily has aboilerplate answer: successful people are always showing outstanding behaviorsin their young age. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that in order tosucceed people should be different from others.


First and foremost, people whoare different are much easier to be noticed by others. As my brother'sexperience aptly illustrates, he, who got bad academic performance inuniversity, is not a traditionally good student in China. Quitting hisuniversity life, he had to find a job. However, it seemed that he failed at thetime being in surrounding people's eyes. However, no one called up his unique advantageof marketing skills. Since he was young, he has been very active in analyzingpeople's reaction during sales, both from the angle of salespersons andcustomers and then making a conclusion about how to satisfy customers' demandin different ways .For a young man, it is surely valuable to master the skillswhich catch the sight of his boss to recruit him into a big PR company in ourcountry and have an outstanding working performance. At present, he owns hisown company. Clearly, successful people should at least have a different pointfrom others.


Moreover, another point worthbeing mentioned is that people who are different from others are more creative,which is very important in certain field. For instance, the Bill Gates, afamous businessman in our world always thought out of diverse and specialsolutions to solve problems when he operated his company. Just the creativityhelps him to make a big success in this era.


In addition, people who aredifferent from others are intelligent enough to avoid imitation others, which maylead to priority problem. For example, a advertisement company in our provincecollapsed due to the reason that one designer in this company copied a plan ofthe other company, in the end, not only failing to earn profits, but alsocausing the whole company and himself to lose the reputation in this field. Thelesson from the case is that keep different is essential to people, especially insome kind of careers.


After ruminating over all the three factors, it is of advantageous for us to make a decision alone. I would like to note that in order tobecome success people should avoid imitating others, but stay different fromothers.

未知未来2

The reading passage casts light on the negative effects of private ownership of rare and important fossils. The professor covers the same topic, however, with a totally opposite attitude that the benefits of this phenomenon overweigh the disadvantages. Likewise, the professor also utilizes three distinctive points to justify his (her 女教授吧)perspective.

First and foremost, the professor refuses that idea in the reading that the public suffers because of less exposion（exposure） to these fossils. On the contrary, the professor asserts that private ownership of these fossils make(-s 主语是单数) it possible for some level public institutions like public schools to own them and show them to the public. Cleary, the professor's idea is incompatible with that of the reading.

Furthermore, as well defined as the points in the reading that scientists are likely to lose access to some of the most important fossils and thereby miss out on potentially crucial discoveries about extinct life forms. The professor challenges the final down by arguing that before the private owners decide to buy fossils, they will pass them on to the hands of scientists to test the value of them. Instead fewer chances to touch these fossils, the scientists can have the priority and chances to see them. The professor's statement doubts the correctness of the point in the reading.

In addition, the reading also states that commercial fossil collectors often destroy valuable scientific evidence associated with the fossils they unearth because of the limited knowledge concerning fossils. However, the professor's point once again contradicts with the reading'. He （she） contends that comparing with the bad effects of keeping a lot of fossils unearthed and unknown to our world, such damage is not worth mention. Evidently, the credibility of the point in the reading begins to shrink.

To sum up, the professor discerns the drawbacks of the points in the reading and convincingly reveals that the fundamental arguments in the reading need to be reexamined with close scrutiny.

楼主词用的很赞呢，有很多很好的小词。只有一个小建议，可以少写一点阅读里面的内容，如果太多就把听力的内容比下去了~~个人意见哈，学习啦！

pennywu20

Perhaps on issue in this world is as significant to friends as honesty. Despite various responses people may have on the topic concerning the issue regarding whether it is possible to completely honest their friends. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that completely honest should have been take primary consideration when making and keeping a friend.

First and foremost, every person hates to be cheated in all cases. Maybe someone may concerns that white lies are necessary in special conditions. However, I hold the opposite view with that perspective.（这句观点表达的不错，结合下面的例子非常convincing） To be specific, my grandfather causes a cancer last year. All our family members decided to hide the truth, only telling him that he could recover soon. Just as I expected, my grandfather knew very well about his body condition and became more anxious and depressed about our responses. I believe, all people have the right to know all related to themselves, including bad news. （这个例子好）

Furthermore, another point worth being mentioned in that telling lies may become a practice, if not being prevented at the early stage. According to a psychology research conducted by professor Wang in Peking University reveals that（有according就可以omit掉了哈） people are unwilling to mend（amend） the drawbacks of themselves until they receive the idea they are really wrong, or they will reject to make a change. My friend Tom is an exact example, he always tell lies to the classmates, such as our professor will cancel the class this afternoon or the library will close tomorrow, etc. Since nobody bothered to criticize him, he now regards telling lies as interest, let alone corrects the bad habit.

In addition, completely honest（adj作主语了） is also essential to friends who are in the same workplaces with you, even though the truth is contradicted with your boss’s. Never imaging that keeping silent will bring you promotion, rather causes a big loss to your company and you and your friends to be fired. When it comes to this, I would like to refer to an experience of myself. When I interned for a phone company, a college of mind（mine？） found a big bug in a new product that was waiting to be marketed. He hesitated to report his finding to the company. As a result, this bug causes the whole company to collapse and all the employees to lose their jobs.

After ruminating over all the three reasons, it is great advantageous for us to make a decision alone. As far as I am concerned, I would like to not（？） that friends are likely to keep entirely honest to their friends and I value the completely honesty as the most important factor to evaluate a person.

 我们大概用一个模板。你的points develop的很好，一些句子再refine一下就更完美了。很有启发~谢谢！

pennywu20

The reading passage casts light on the benefits of salvage logging. The professor covers the same topic, however, with a totally opposite attitude that though salvage logging may have short-term benefits, it has more serious long-term damage. Likewise, the professor utilizes three diverse points to justify his own perspective.

To begin with, the professor refuses（refutes会不会更好一点？仅供参考） the idea in the reading that forests are chocked with dead trees. On the contrary, the professor contends that cutting down all the dead trees （缺词，is 或者does）not necessary provides better condition for live, healthy trees. To be specific, the decomposition of the dead trees provides nutrition for the live trees. So removing the dead trees can affect the nutrition of live, health trees. Clearly, the professor's idea is incompatible with the reading.

Furthermore, as well defined as the points made in the reading, the professor's statement contradicts with the reading. He（She？我听的是女版的）asserts that on one hand, the spruce barks do not cause many damages without cutting down the dead trees before, and on the other hand, decaying wood provides habitat not only for harmful insects, but also offer（s） the suitable habitat for birds and other insets.（这句有点长，可以分开成两句） Having taken into the long-term effects, the professor argues that the advantages of dead trees overweigh the disadvantages. Clearly, the credibility of the reading begins to shrink then.

In addition, the reading passage also points out that salvage logging has economic benefits. The professor once again challenges the final down by arguing that the benefits are temporary. Because the transportation fees using(直接用of吧) the vehicles like helicopters are very high（fee一般用expensive？cost用high） and the jobs it creates usually benefits the experienced employees in the other areas, not the local people. Evidently, the professor doubts the correctness of the point in the reading.

To sum up, the professor precisely discerns the drawbacks in the reading and suggests the fundamental reasons and evidences in the reading needs to be reexamined with scrutiny.

1.听得很全
2.模板很强大，但是痕迹有点明显，稍微修改一下？
拙见见谅

Crystal的秋天

Perhaps on issue in this world is as significant to friends as honesty. Despite various responses people may have on the topic concerning the issue regarding whether it is possible to completely honest their friends. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that completely honest should have been take primary consideration when making and keeping a friend.

First and foremost, every person hates to be cheated in all cases. Maybe someone may concerns that white lies are necessary in special conditions. However, I hold the opposite view with that perspective. To be specific, my grandfather causes a cancer last year. All our family members decided to hide the truth, only telling him that he could recover soon. Just as I expected, my grandfather knew very well about his body condition and became more anxious and depressed about our responses. I believe, all people have the right to know all related to themselves, including bad news.

Furthermore, another point worth being mentioned in that telling lies may become a practice, if not being prevented at the early stage. According to a psychology research conducted by professor Wang in Peking University reveals that people are unwilling to mend the drawbacks of themselves until they receive the idea they are really wrong, or they will reject to make a change. My friend Tom is an exact example, he always tell lies to the classmates, such as our professor will cancel the class this afternoon or the library will close tomorrow, etc. Since nobody bothered to criticize him, he now regards telling lies as interest, let alone corrects the bad habit.

In addition, completely honest is also essential to friends who are in the same workplaces with you, even though the truth is contradicted with your boss’s. Never imaging that keeping silent will bring you promotion, rather causes a big loss to your company and you and your friends to be fired. When it comes to this, I would like to refer to an experience of myself. When I interned for a phone company, a college of mind found a big bug in a new product that was waiting to be marketed. He hesitated to report his finding to the company. As a result, this bug causes the whole company to collapse and all the employees to lose their jobs.

After ruminating over all the three reasons, it is great advantageous for us to make a decision alone. As far as I am concerned, I would like to not that friends are likely to keep entirely honest to their friends and I value the completely honesty as the most important factor to evaluate a person.

Crystal的秋天

The reading passage casts light on the negative effects of private ownership of rare and important fossils. The professor covers the same topic, however, with a totally opposite attitude that the benefits of this phenomenon overweigh the disadvantages. Likewise, the professor also utilizes three distinctive points to justify his perspective.

First and foremost, the professor refuses that idea in the reading that the public suffers because of less exposion to these fossils. On the contrary, the professor asserts that private ownership of these fossils make it possible for some level public institutions like public schools to own them and show them to the public. Cleary, the professor's idea is incompatible with that of the reading.

Furthermore, as well defined as the points in the reading that scientists are likely to lose access to some of the most important fossils and thereby miss out on potentially crucial discoveries about extinct life forms. The professor challenges the final down by arguing that before the private owners decide to buy fossils, they will pass them on to the hands of scientists to test the value of them. Instead fewer chances to touch these fossils, the scientists can have the priority and chances to see them. The professor's statement doubts the correctness of the point in the reading.

In addition, the reading also states that commercial fossil collectors often destroy valuable scientific evidence associated with the fossils they unearth because of the limited knowledge concerning fossils. However, the professor's point once again contradicts with the reading'. He contends that comparing with the bad effects of keeping a lot of fossils unearthed and unknown to our world, such damage is not worth mention. Evidently, the credibility of the point in the reading begins to shrink.

To sum up, the professor discerns the drawbacks of the points in the reading and convincingly reveals that the fundamental arguments in the reading need to be reexamined with close scrutiny.