Anthony Summer的写作贴~~~互帮互助共同进步啊!~~~~~求狠狠的批~~~~~????????????????????????????

AnthonySummer

9-29 独立
It’s depends what is the definition of fun and what is your situation is. For example, When I were preparing TOEFL test and don't havea lot of time, if some question I want to solve, a friend I can get help from is much more important than make me fun.

If I am a freshman and have plenty of time to prepare the test such as one or two years, that means my friends and I can work together and improve our language skill together. So how to solve the problem when we feel bored? A friends make us happy seem very necessary. Also, in one study team, we can benefited from each other, meantime I was enjoying the time, have lots of fun together. That time fun and help is equal important.

When I was at elementally school, some friends just made fun of you and never help you out, I don't have a clear definition of “friends” when I was 10, so we just make fun of each other until some day when I in trouble, I suddenly realize the true definition of “Friends”, “a friend in need is a friend in deed”. We are young and made a lot of mistaken before, but we learn from it.

I found some of friends they worship money and only make friends who can help them. Especially at Shanghai, a city of temptation and chance. How will you chose your friends at a city you know no one? Sometimes we just simply need recommendation letter to networking, to get an interview opportunity, or need a push of our career.

We don't have too many choice to choose our company. If a good book can be our friends, they can simply make us fun, and we can get help from it without too much guilty of using friends that will be much better to our heart. How to enjoy purity? Just don’t think of it too much.

lizchang1990

我11.16 作业连接   http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-781814-3-1.html#last

等你作业!!!

AnthonySummer

回你站內信了~ take over 是接管的意思，不知用在這會不會好~

lmylacoste

I grow up in a metropolitan city: Shanghai, like New York City, people who come to here are thirst for wealth and fame. I used to be like everyone else, until last year I made my first quarter-millions dollars from futures trading job. I realized that after we have enough money that can guarantee the rest of life peaceful and enjoyable would be enough.(这句话好像多了一个连词。。。after，能告知是什么意思吗？) Therefore, we would want to be more successful on the career rather purser（出纳员？？？）money or social life. I am not a celebrity, social life can help heàwhom attract more advertisement and fame, but an ordinary person, and extra social life can only waste my limited wealth and bring extra anxiety.

My work brings me extreme satisfaction because I am a futures trader. As a trader, I would trade millions of dollars of rubber(什么意思呢？才疏学浅啊) every day. My daily work is extremely excited. I can trade all the longàtime and never feel tired. Sometimes I would lose several thousands of dollars in a few seconds because the futures market changeàchanges so rapidly, but I can use historical rubber demand anticipatedàto anticipate long term tendency. Therefore, I need to work very hard on the trending analysis. Until one day, I made my first quarter-millions dollars because I can right anticipated the long-term tendency. That moment I feel that I bask under sunshine(Gre的单词~), and taste the sweetness and freedom in the air. What can bring me extremely feeling must be my work. （如果把extreme换掉这句话会显得意思清楚一点，extreme是中性词，可以用bliss）

My work is the foundation of my social life, because work can make me self-support, and I am not a celebrity, I cannot make money from (請問用on可以嗎）（实际上make money后的这个介词是看后面的名词的，若是名词没有要求，用from，by+doing，on 实际上都是可以的）a full-time social life. I am working for a foreign Christian community in my spare time. I would teach children who from poverty-stricken family English and economic knowledge. Because of the success in （請問用of嗎）（个人认为用in）the work, I am very confident and qualified to teach those young children. I would regularly donate some books and toys to the community. The better performance in my job, the much more money I can made, and the more children I can help. I believe that more possession I have, (請問這裡要逗號分開嗎) （要的）more social duties I need take.

这段more的句型有点多啊，还有最好能突出happy，来照应题目，现在的联系还不够紧密哦

Although many people think that their social life can bring more happiness than their social life.（一个错误，although是连词，主句在哪里呢？一个建议gmat曾有比较对象不清，最好是than their social lifecan）I think the only reason is that they do not like their job. I am really interested in my work, so I feel that I am doing something I like and it can bring me satisfaction rather work（这里是什么意思啊？望告知）. Ninety-nine percentages of people on the earth need to find a job in their life. Job brings our money, colleagues, friends. A successful job can bring us greater happiness than our social life.

In one conclusionàin conclusion, some people may consider their social life isàlives are much more important than their job, because they cannot find happy in their daily work. In my standard, my work is the fountain of happiness. So far, I consider my points of view （請問用views複數嗎）(view是单数是总观点)are the best suit（这里是什么意思啊？望告知）for me.

conclusion：

Impressive of the length of the article

Some dazzling phrases scatter to embellish the passage

Few confusing word wait to be addressed

浅吟天

红色 改的  绿色 一些评价
The professor objects to the reading passage's opinion that planting genetically modification trees on a large scale promises(复数) to bring a number of benefits.

First, the professor points out that genetic modification trees can only resist to one particular virus, or（can resist… or design这两个不并列把） design for one particular climate. If the genetic modification trees were attacked by multiple insects, or climate change rapidly（这个rapidly是形容什么的？放这里感觉有点奇怪，heavily好点？）, the trees would all be wiped out because of the genetic uniform. However, nature trees would have some individuals（加个which 看的清楚点） still resist and not die out.

Later, the professor argues that the genetic modification trees have a hiding cost. She said that according to law, company would collect farmer's fee every time when farmer reproduces or grows the trees.（细节抓的好） Hence, the tree farmers would not get faster and greater returns on their farming investment.

Finally, the professor illustrated that the genetically modified trees cannot prevent overexploitation of wild trees. She said（上一段用过了，换个词把，啥argue这类的） that the genetically modified trees would greatly damage the local wild trees. Because of genetically modified trees have a rapid demand on water and nutrition, it grows faster than local trees. Hence, it would even take over(我不确定这个词是否得当，能否告知？) local trees.

In one words, the genetically modified trees cannot bring more benefits than local trees.（若要有结尾可否再长些，个人觉得它貌似不是和local tree比优势，而是它自己没文章中说的那么benefit。）





总的来说，语言挺好的，点都抓着了。就是句型还是有点单一

AnthonySummer

2012-11-15 Agree or disagree your job has greater happiness than your social life.

I grow up in a metropolitan city: Shanghai, like New York City, people who come to here are thirst for wealth and fame. I used to be like everyone else, until last year I made my first quarter-millions dollars from futures trading job. I realized that after we have enough money that can guarantee the rest of life peaceful and enjoyable would be enough. Therefore, we would want to be more successful on the career rather purser money or social life. I am not a celebrity, social life can help he attract more advertisement and fame, but an ordinary person, and extra social life can only waste my limited wealth and bring extra anxiety.

My work brings me extreme satisfaction because I am a futures trader. As a trader, I would trade millions of dollars of rubber every day. My daily work is extremely excited. I can trade all the long and never feel tired. Sometimes I would lose several thousands of dollars in a few seconds because the futures market change so rapidly, but I can use historical rubber demand anticipated long term tendency. Therefore, I need to work very hard on the trending analysis. Until one day, I made my first quarter-millions dollars because I can right anticipated the long-term tendency. That moment I feel that I bask under sunshine, and taste the sweetness and freedom in the air. What can bring me extremely feeling must be my work.

My work is the foundation of my social life, because work can make me self-support, and I am not a celebrity, I cannot make money from (請問用on可以嗎）a full-time social life. I am working for a foreign Christian community in my spare time. I would teach children who from poverty-stricken family English and economic knowledge. Because of the success in （請問用of嗎）the work, I am very confident and qualified to teach those young children. I would regularly donate some books and toys to the community. The better performance in my job, the much more money I can made, and the more children I can help. I believe that more possession I have, (請問這裡要逗號分開嗎) more social duties I need take.

Although many people think that their social life can bring more happiness than their social life. I think the only reason is that they do not like their job. I am really interested in my work, so I feel that I am doing something I like and it can bring me satisfaction rather work. Ninety-nine percentages of people on the earth need find a job in their life. Job brings our money, colleagues, friends. A successful job can bring us greater happiness than our social life.

In one conclusion, some people may consider their social life is much more important than their job, because they cannot find happy in their daily work. In my standard, my work is the fountain of happiness. So far, I consider my points of view （請問用views複數嗎） are the best suit for me.

AnthonySummer

Tpo 21
The professor objects to the reading passage's opinion that planting genetically modification trees on a large scale promises to bring a number of benefits.

First, the professor points out that genetic modification trees can only resist to one particular virus, or design for one particular climate. If the genetic modification trees were attacked by multiple insects, or climate change rapidly, the trees would all be wiped out because of the genetic uniform. However, nature trees would have some individuals still resist and not die out.

Later, the professor argues that the genetic modification trees have a hiding cost. She said that according to law, company would collect farmer's fee every time when farmer reproduces or grows the trees. Hence, the tree farmers would not get faster and greater returns on their farming investment.

Finally, the professor illustrated that the genetically modified trees cannot prevent overexploitation of wild trees. She said that the genetically modified trees would greatly damage the local wild trees. Because of genetically modified trees have a rapid demand on water and nutrition,  it grows faster than local trees. Hence, it would even take over local trees.

In one words, the genetically modified trees cannot bring more benefits than local trees.

浅吟天

hello 等你的tpo21哈

lmylacoste

The professor disagrees about the reading passage's three opinions. He thinks that none of them is (或者are呢）(are is 都可以个人认为are好一点)convinced.

First of all, the professor points that the increase products of ethanol fuel would not add burden to global warming. He said（和points矛盾了，用一般现在式较好） that it is true that burning ethanol will create carbon dioxide, but the growing process of planet adsorbs carbon dioxide as part of its nutrition. Thus, ethanol offers environmental advantages over gasoline.

Later, the professor illustrates that the large product of ethanol would not dramatically reduce the substantial source of food for animals. He argues that ethanol would mainly use cellulose as a resource to produce, and animal do （或者does呢）（用animals do好了）not eat cellulose. Thus, ethanol will not influence animal's food resource.

Finally, the professor demonstrates that the tax subsidies from the United States Government would not need in the future. He points out that if the future production of ethanol increase(要加s)three times comparesàcompared to current production, the price(我没听错的话应该是cost) of ethanol would decrease forty percentages.


总结
Good summary ability，but we are in essay. Such excessive omittance will influence the holistic impression on your article.
Few minor errors

amissrosa

11.12 獨立改  補上!!!!