duniaguodupa的作文贴，基础差，求指导~^^

duniaguodupa

小弟今年大四，923要再战T~writing部分大概20分的水平。  真心求各位哥哥姐姐，弟弟妹妹，大神，大牛拍砖指导啊~

我会开始努力的

xeyyxzty

蓝的是我也不知道的地方~红的是我认为有问题的地方

Currently,the rush of getting education has been gaining at an amazing rate（才疏学浅哈~不确定可不可以和之前的rush连着用~）,urging more and more parents to send their children to school to be bettereducated. And then, it raises a wide spread discussion that whether grades canencourage students to learn. From my points of view, I suppose that wanting to get (感觉the desire to get…更好) highgrades can enhance the learning of students.

It is undeniable that getting high marks is notthe goal of the students. The true reason why students should study is thatlearning can adjust（我不知道可不可以这样表示哈~就是表示一下自己的不肯定，告诉你一声~） students to be useful and suitable to our society.However, grade is an efficient and useful tool to encourage students to paymore attention on learning.

To begin with, in order to get higher grades,students will spend enough times onstudy, ensuring that students(they) can learn the knowledge better. As a matter offact, learning is a job that requires spending lotsof time. Take my friends Joe and Tom as examples, they were my classmates inthe middle school. Joe was a hard-working student who always lost himself instudy in(for) along time, while Tom was not as assiduous as Joe. It is apparent that Joe gotgrades higher than Tom. What's more, Joe absorbed the knowledge much deeperthan Tom and now he(感觉换成人名吧，指代不是很清晰) stillcould use the knowledge learned at that time.

Moreover, grades are inviting enough（能告诉我什么意思吗） to attract students to participate the seminarand accomplish their tasks better, which are very significant for students tolearn knowledge. In the seminar, students can discuss their own opinions aboutthe knowledge and learn from each other, enhancing（我真的不知道能不能这样用哈~貌似我英语真的不过关…） the understanding of knowledge efficiently. Additionally, the tasksare the most important method for students to implement their knowledge inpractice. There is no better illustration than the example of my own experiencein college. When I was a firstyear student(a freshman), I cannotget considerable marks. Fortunately, a friend encouraged me to participate inthe project that helps the store near the campus to attract customers. Iaccepted his advice because I majored in marketing andthis project can help me to get higher score in marketing.After that, I got a high grade in marketing(这个词太重复了吧the subject, it之类的替换一下吧), but(为什么转折呢~what’s more更恰当吧) I alsolearned the knowledge of marketingmuch better.

In conclusion, grades are very useful to promotestudents' learning. Spending more time and participating in more seminars andtasks are the great way to get high grades, furthermore, they can enhancestudents' understanding of knowledge.

貌似我果然英语很弱~看LZ的作文很多东西都不确定~似是而非~
很多用法我没有见过，也不知道是否合适，见谅吧
文章表达的感觉不是很通畅~几个词总是重复呀重复~多积累吧，所有人都有这个问题
加油

duniaguodupa

9月17日
Grades (marks) encourage students to learn？A\D


Currently, the rush of getting education has been gaining at an amazing rate, urging more and more parents to send their children to school to be better educated. And then, it raises a wide spread discussion that whether grades can encourage students to learn. From my points of view, I suppose that wanting to get high grades can enhance the learning of students.

It is undeniable that getting high marks is not the goal of the students. The true reason why students should study is that learning can adjust students to be useful and suitable to our society. However, grade is an efficient and useful tool to encourage students pay more attention on learning.

To begin with, in order to get higher grades, students will spend enough times on study, ensuring that students can learn the knowledge better. As a matter of fact, learning is a job that requires spending lots of time. Take my friends Joe and Tom as examples, they were my classmates in the middle school. Joe was a hard-working student who always lost himself in study in a long time, while Tom was not as assiduous as Joe. It is apparent that Joe got grades higher than Tom. What's more, Joe absorbed the knowledge much deeper than Tom and now he still could use the knowledge learned at that time.

Moreover, grades are inviting enough to attract students to participate the seminar and accomplish their tasks better, which are very significant for students to learn knowledge. In the seminar, students can discuss their own opinions about the knowledge and learn from each other, enhancing the understanding of knowledge efficiently. Additionally, the tasks are the most important method for students to implement their knowledge in practice. There is no better illustration than the example of my own experience in college. When I was a first year student, I cannot get considerable marks. Fortunately, a friend encouraged me to participate in the project that helps the store near the campus to attract customers. I accepted his advice because I majored in marketing and this project can help me to get higher score in marketing. After that, I got a high grade in marketing, but I also learned the knowledge of marketing much better.

In conclusion, grades are very useful to promote students' learning. Spending more time and participating in more seminars and tasks are the great way to get high grades, furthermore, they can enhance students' understanding of knowledge.

duniaguodupa

9月14日
Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?


Currently, since the society develops rapidly, people are more and more concerned about the education. And then it raises a wide spread discussion that whether it is easier for people to become educated now than in the past. From my points of view, becoming educated is much easier for people currently. The reasons are as follows.

To begin with, the pressure from works urges people to be assiduous to get educated. With the development of technology, the skills of working become much more crucial for the employees. Take the Google as the example, it is a high technological company, which means that the employees working in it must handle the latest technologies. Therefore, if we want to work in Google, we have to become educated well. All these prove that the pressure from the new and great job help us to get education.

Moreover, the advanced technology products, including the computers, the Internet and mobile devices, is the most useful tools for us to become educated we have ever used. Accordingly, by using these advanced tools, we can learn everything very conveniently and efficiently. When I was a high school student, I'd love to use the computer to do some extensive study, which can give me a better understanding of the subjects. Thanks to the computer, I finished high school with a excellent award and get the offer of my favorite university. Hence, it is apparent that the latest technology makes us easier to become educated than in the past.

Admittedly, some advanced inventions, such as the Television and computer games, affect some children to have no interest in study. However, the advantages from these inventions overweigh the disadvantages. For example, watching TV appropriately can have a good effect on them.

To conclude, nowadays, people are becoming much easier to be educated. Not only the pressure from development of technology but also the advanced inventions can help people to get education.

duniaguodupa

9月14日
Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?


Currently, since the society develops rapidly, people are more and more concerned about the education. And then it raises a wide spread discussion that whether it is easier for people to become educated now than in the past. From my points of view, becoming educated is much easier for people currently. The reasons are as follows.

To begin with, the pressure from works urges people to be assiduous to get educated. With the development of technology, the skills of working become much more crucial for the employees. Take the Google as the example, it is a high technological company, which means that the employees working in it must handle the latest technologies. Therefore, if we want to work in Google, we have to become educated well. All these prove that the pressure from the new and great job help us to get education.

Moreover, the advanced technology products, including the computers, the Internet and mobile devices, is the most useful tools for us to become educated we have ever used. Accordingly, by using these advanced tools, we can learn everything very conveniently and efficiently. When I was a high school student, I'd love to use the computer to do some extensive study, which can give me a better understanding of the subjects. Thanks to the computer, I finished high school with a excellent award and get the offer of my favorite university. Hence, it is apparent that the latest technology makes us easier to become educated than in the past.

Admittedly, some advanced inventions, such as the Television and computer games, affect some children to have no interest in study. However, the advantages from these inventions overweigh the disadvantages. For example, watching TV appropriately can have a good effect on them.

To conclude, nowadays, people are becoming much easier to be educated. Not only the pressure from development of technology but also the advanced inventions can help people to get education.

E月羽

9月13日综合

In the lecture, the professor claims that the three ways to address the decline of Torreya are not satisfied solutions. Apparently, the claim does not agree with that of the passage, which states that the three ways can prevent the decline of Torreya effectively.

First of all, the professor indicates that reestablishing the Torrya in the same location is unlikely to succeed. Originally, the Torreya located in the region, having a specific microclimate that is wetter and cooler than the surrounding region. However, the microclimate is easily affected by the changes of the weather conditions. And the global warming beget(begets) the weather of this region becoming warmer and drier, and makes this region becomes unsuitable for Torreya to grow.

Secondly, the professor casts doubt on the passage that move the Torreya to an entirely different location by offering the example that the blacklocus trees were moved to a new region causing an unpredicted calamity to the new region.

Lastly, the professor points out that the research center might has no enough capacity to keep these Torreya in it. Preserving the Torreya in the research center is not a smart decision because the center cannot ensuring(ensure) the Torreya can germinate in it. However, the passage holds a opposite opinion that preserving Torreya in research center can



点评：内容差不多都点到了，只是可以叙述再详细点就更好了

duniaguodupa

9-13 TPO18

In the lecture, the professor claims that the three ways to address the decline of Torreya are not satisfied solutions. Apparently, the claim does not agree with that of the passage, which states that the three ways can prevent the decline of Torreya effectively.

First of all, the professor indicates that reestablishing the Torrya in the same location is unlikely to succeed. Originally, the Torreya located in the region, having a specific microclimate that is wetter and cooler than the surrounding region. However, the microclimate is easily affected by the changes of the weather conditions. And the global warming beget the weather of this region  becoming warmer and drier, and makes this region becomes unsuitable for Torreya to grow.

Secondly, the professor casts doubt on the passage that move the Torreya to an entirely different location by offering the example that the blacklocus trees were moved to a new region causing an unpredicted calamity to the new region.

Lastly, the professor points out that the research center might has no enough capacity to keep these Torreya in it. Preserving the Torreya in the research center is not a smart decision because the center cannot ensuring the Torreya can germinate in it. However, the passage holds a opposite opinion that preserving Torreya in research center can prevent them to decline.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Currently, the（我觉得复数开头不用特指的额，嘿嘿） companies in the world are facing numerous competitions, which lead them to have a tough time. How a company can be competitive is a very complex but interesting question. While some people point out that the skills of employees have nothing to do with the company, I consider that improving the skills of employees is the most signigicant investment to a company.（开头的最后有一些突兀，能不能加入一些过渡的说理句子）

To begin with, it is undeniable that employees are the essential part of a company.（觉得后面这句和上面是重复说理，两句连成一句）A company cannot be operated without enough employees in it. Like a system of human, the system of company is consisting of many organic elements. And the most important organic elements of the system of company are employees. Accordingly, consisting of skillful employees make sure the company can be run without getting in trouble. For example, a big company named Yison in my hometown used to be a successful company, however, it broke down last year. The reason why it broke down is that most of its skillful employees went to a new company next to it.（楼主的反证例子，最后在加点点明论点的句子就好了。不是例子好就行，要能证明并且联系论点才好）

Moreover, investing the employees to improve the skills of them enables them to be much more creative, which is the most crucial（part，不清楚形容词直接可以这样用不） to a company in the new digital age. By investing the employees to handle the new technology, the company can upgrade its structure. Since the new technologic structure of the company is capable of enhancing its profits, the investment to educate the employees is very worth(y). Take the Google as example(google is a good example to illustrate this point, 楼主感觉如何？), Google is one of the most successful companies in the world. The reason why it became so successful is that it has the most creative employees in the world. So precious are creative employees that company must spend a considerable amount of money to improve them.

Admittedly, some other investments of a company, such as the implements of producing, are also very important too. Without the implements, the company perhaps cannot produce anything, but the skillful, creative employees will figure out this problem（这里的句子间联系就不是很紧密啊，how can workers solve the problems？）.

In conclusion, the importance of the investment of a company to improve the skills of its employees has never be overemphasize（这里用被动式比较好吧？）. The skillful and creative employees are the guarantee that the company will be excellent.

楼主的结构和句子都是很好，提高的点就是加强句间，段落间联系。接着就是多用句式变换来说理，包括举例子的部分，文章的没部分都必须考虑到



蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

In the lecture, the professor claims that the commercial fossils collectors bring more benefits than harms to the scientists and the general public. Apparently, the claim is（does） not agree with that of the passage, which indicates that the private collectors bring unfortunate development for human.

To begin with, the professor argues that the commercial trade of fossils makes the public have more access to fossils exhibits. By permitting commercial trade of fossils, there more people to buy and own the fossils, and they will donate the fossils to the museum or school. Hence, the private collectors help the public to have more chance to appreciate the fossils, which refutes the passage, which states that the private collectors will make it harder for the public to see fossils.（这里很好了）

Secondly, the professor points out that the scientists will have many chances to investigate the fossils. In order to identify the fossils, the private collectors will hire the scientists to test the unearth fossils. So, the fossils have been passed through the scientists' hands,（这里后面用动名词，前面是什么，感觉不是很一致的） guaranteeing that the scientists have many opportunities to investigate the fossils. On the contrary, the passage held the counterpart that scientists are likely to lose access to some of the most important fossils.

Lastly, the professor casts doubt on the passage by stating that many fossils will never be discovered if there is no private collector. It is very pity that the valuable and cherish fossils are under the earth forever.

All in all, the professor make a clear clarify that private fossils collectors bring more benefits than harms to the scientists and the general public, refuting what the passage claims.

前两段听的很好，第三段细节有漏点。

duniaguodupa

9月8日 综合

In the lecture, the professor claims that the commercial fossils collectors bring more benefits than harms to the scientists and the general public. Apparently, the claim is not agree with that of the passage, which indicates that the private collectors bring unfortunate development for human.

To begin with, the professor argues that the commercial trade of fossils makes the public have more access to fossils exhibits. By permitting commercial trade of fossils, there more people to buy and own the fossils, and they will donate the fossils to the museum or school. Hence, the private collectors help the public to have more chance to appreciate the fossils, which refutes the passage, which states that the private collectors will make it harder for the public to see fossils.

Secondly, the professor points out that the scientists will have many chances to investigate the fossils. In order to identify the fossils, the private collectors will hire the scientists to test the unearth fossils. So, the fossils have been passed through the scientists' hands, guaranteeing that the scientists have many opportunities to investigate the fossils. On the contrary, the passage held the counterpart that scientists are likely to lose access to some of the most important fossils.

Lastly, the professor casts doubt on the passage by stating that many fossils will never be discovered if there is no private collector. It is very pity that the valuable and cherish fossils are under the earth forever.

All in all, the professor make a clear clarify that private fossils collectors bring more benefits than harms to the scientists and the general public, refuting what the passage claims.

duniaguodupa

9月8日
The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees.D\A


Currently, the companies in the world are facing numerous competitions, which lead them to have a tough time. How a company can be competitive is a very complex but interesting question. While some people point out that the skills of employees have nothing to do with the company, I consider that improving the skills of employees is the most signigicant investment to a company.

To begin with, it is undeniable that employees are the essential part of a company. A company cannot be operated without enough employees in it. Like a system of human, the system of company is consisting of many organic elements. And the most important organic elements of the system of company are employees. Accordingly, consisting of skillful employees make sure the company can be run without getting in trouble. For example, a big company named Yison in my hometown used to be a successful company, however, it broke down last year. The reason why it broke down is that most of its skillful employees went to a new company next to it.

Moreover, investing the employees to improve the skills of them enables them to be much more creative, which is the most crucial to a company in the new digital age. By investing the employees to handle the new technology, the company can upgrade its structure. Since the new technologic structure of the company is capable of enhancing its profits, the investment to educate the employees is very worth. Take the Google as example, Google is one of the most successful companies in the world. The reason why it became so successful is that it has the most creative employees in the world. So precious are creative employees that company must spend a considerable amount of money to improve them.

Admittedly, some other investments of a company, such as the implements of producing, are also very important. Without the implements, the company perhaps cannot produce anything, but the skillful, creative employees will figure out this problem.

In conclusion, the importance of the investment of a company to improve the skills of its employees has never be overemphasize. The skillful and creative employees are the guarantee that the company will be excellent.