kel 作文贴。。

面具小姐

8.31独立自知很菜，但是。。我要加油。。


Do you agree or disagree,people who go out from theirvillege will be more successful and happier than people who stay in theirvillage?


It is a common phenomenon that people with ambition, especially college graduates and young people, will stay out from their village and stuggle for a better future in the city. Most of us admire them a lot ,and regard them to be surely successiful and of ability. But the fact is that success or happiness are not from the varied ground that they stand on .
 To those who managed to win their career and love, they are definitely minor successes in the fierce competitions.They deserve our respect and appreciation. However, there are also large quantity of people from the village doing some low-paying manual works inthe city, most are what we called the immigrant workers. They seek fortune in the city because of  insufficient money to support a elementary life . Maybe they are not so willing to stay out, so it’s apperent that they are barely more successful and happier than even ordinarypeople.
 To those who stay in the village, there is no abosolute definition that they are unsuccessful . Some well-educated graduates return bringing back advanced technologies and creative ideas to develop their hometown . Isn’t that a kind of success? Anyway, they will be surely happier than some outside the village. Moreover, Some people do not go out in order to take good care of their parents or children ,or maybe avoid Empty Nester ,a currently universal phenomenon .When it comes to this, it's hard to indicate that they are not happier or more successful .Also, currently a large number of young graduates are eager to teach in remote villages, devoting themselves to advance the children’s education and light up their future.
 Therefore,from my point of view, success and happiness depends on their ambition and efforts .It should not be judeged merely by their location. Thus I strongly disagree the definition those strugglers outside the village are more successful and happier than people in village.

小兔爱twins

In this day and age, fierce competitions en large the effect of every minus decision. （我没有读懂这句话额，，，）Thus, many leaders take the strategy to involve every member in decision making in order to improve the accuracy of decisions. From my viewpoint, I cannot agree more.（开头写因果+表达自己观点 这样写法蛮不错的~）


With everyone in part of decision making, the solutions will be more comprehensive. （可以用well-rounded来替换 你是要表达 全面的 这个意思吧 ）People in different positions concern about different aspects, therefore, the decision will be relatively perfect with as many considerations as possible. For example, when the company is collecting recommends from stuff, Officers will notice much more things around the office than the security guards who focus more attention on the safety protection. The cleaner, however, will mostly suggest things about dirty placesin the building hall. Although these suggestions vary in aspects, they are beneficial to employees’ working efficiency, directly or indirectly. （我不太清楚这边你用although让步的逻辑。。。 我觉得有说服的逻辑应该是 Suggestions from different perspectives are beneficial for working efficiency, directly or indirectly.）Thus, these suggestions should all be taken into consideration when the leader is making adecision.（看完第一个body感觉语言表述大部分无碍。。但是在逻辑上有点困乱 个人建议是 你能在写作前先列一个题干最好 让你自己清楚明白自己写作的逻辑 虽然托福不强调逻辑 但是 基本的逻辑我们还是做好能做到谨慎严密）


When members are taking part in decision discussing, they can not only feel strong belongingness but learn a lot ofknowledge and experience. And if they make a proposal in the meeting which isconsidered great, they will feel confident and appreciate to the leaders andother members. Even though they do not propose anything, they can just listento and learn from others’ opinions. For example, there are many global conferencesin various fields every year, which involved a large amount of members. Not everyone will address their opinions in the conference, however, they do learn a lot by other’s speech. Hence, decision making can benefit both the companyand the employees in many ways beyond their imaginations.  （你的主题句确实都点到 让每个人都感到他们参与到决策当中是一件好事 比如能增加归属感和获取更多经验， 但是你在论述展开时细节太薄弱。。逻辑不太经的起推敲。。还有结尾的总结 其实可以再跟主题靠近一点  ）

Many efficient leaders will prefer to makedecisions on their own. In this way they may run the company in a good condition,but it will be bad for the future of the company for employees may be lazy laterand lack excitement as well as willingness to improve productivity.


个人意见还是楼主在写作前列一个提纲

面具小姐

9.4 独立作文修改稿三
感谢兔兔发现我离题了~~
In this day and age, fierce competitions enlargethe effect of every minus decision. Thus, many leaders take the strategy to involveevery member in decision making in order to improve the accuracy of decisions.From my viewpoint, I cannot agree more.


With everyone in part of decision making,the solutions will be more comprehensive. People in different positions concernabout different aspects, therefore, the decision will be relatively perfectwith as many considerations as possible. For example, when the company iscollecting recommends from stuff, Officers will notice much more things aroundthe office than the security guards who focus more attention on the safetyprotection. The cleaner, however, will mostly suggest things about dirty placesin the building hall. Although these suggestions vary in aspects, they arebeneficial to employees’ working efficiency, directly or indirectly. Thus, thesesuggestions should all be taken into consideration when the leader is making adecision.


When members are taking part in decisiondiscussing, they can not only feel strong belongingness but learn a lot ofknowledge and experience. And if they make a proposal in the meeting which isconsidered great, they will feel confident and appreciate to the leaders andother members. Even though they do not propose anything, they can just listento and learn from others’ opinions. For example, there are many global conferencesin various fields every year, which involved a large amount of members. Noteveryone will address their opinions in the conference, however, they do learna lot by other’s speech. Hence, decision making can benefit both the companyand the employees in many ways beyond their imaginations.


Many efficient leaders will prefer to makedecisions on their own. In this way they may run the company in a good condition,but it will be bad for the future of the company for employees may be lazy laterand lack excitement as well as willingness to improve productivity.


Therefore, with so many merits, involvingeveryone in decision making will be a good strategy an efficient and wiseleader should follow.

婷婷connie

9.4综合修改
9.4 TPO9综合


The reading passage provides threeexplanations that the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine will replace theinternal-combustion engine. The lecturer, however,这个位置放得很好~ holds on opposite view forthe fuel-cell engine has many disadvantages.


Firstly, hydrogen is not easily accessible.Although hydrogen can be produced by water and natural gas, it has to be usedas pure liquid state. This state is hard to produce and store artificiallybecause pure liquid hydrogen should be kept in rather cold condition, say, minus253 Celsius degree. Thus, it is not a substance that easy to get and use.


Secondly, the fuel-cell engine will notsolve the pollution problems. Even though the cars will not produce pollutedgas, the factories, which burn coals（coal跟后面的oil单复数一致） and oil to get energy for hydrogen fromwater and gas(这里为什么要提gas?), will produce（generate） pollution.


Finally, fuel-cell engines will not beeconomically(economic) since manufacturing these engines will contain a raw expensivematerial, platinum(帅，这个都听出来了~). Without this component, the mechanical reaction to get hydrogenwill not happen. However, trials using economical materials to produce hydrogen（貌似不是产生hydrogen，而是让它反应生成电，这点要注意一下）are all unsuccessful. Therefore, platinum is needed to manufacture theexpensive fuel-cell engines.



Conclusion：

1.简单，精炼~这点比婷婷做的好

2.第三点的细节还要再注意一下

3.整体上已经很好了，建议再提高语言哦

小兔爱twins

亲。。。 注意审题。。 等你改好的。。

 In thisday and age, leaders are profound in decision making.Thus, whether they should make everyone aware of their decision making doesmake sense. From my standpoint, an efficient leader does not need to join inevery conference.

Firstand foremost, busy as leaders, they have no sufficient time to participate inall meetings and discussions. Take the hierarchy for example. In the past,kings and queens had to deal with alarge amount of national affairs everyday.Without sleeping, they still could notfinish such piles of work. Therefore,they used to pick out some crucial partsand lead the public debate, while otherparts were assigned to responsibleofficials. With this strategy, the nationalleaders usually operated theircountry in a good condition. Thus, currentleaders will be sensible to adoptthis method to manage their companies.


Secondly,by offering the responsibleofficials opportunities to deal with issues on theirown, an efficient leaderis able to stimulate their potentials, strengthen theirabilities and show hisor her trust to the members. For example, currently, manymultinationalcorporations are seizing the chance to extend their foreignmarkets. Jack, afriend of mine, is one of the founders who established RoseGroup in America in1993. Recently, as the CEO of an IT company which isbelonged to Rose Group, hecame back to China to open up a market in Chengdu,Sichuan Province. He once toldme via emails that the chairman left thisassignment to him and barely helpedhim make decisions. Jack took thisassignment as an appreciation for it is away to improve his abilities invarious aspects; It is also efficient for thechairman. Thus, the leader shouldleave some opportunities to those he believein to train their skills, whichwill strengthen the cohesion of whole group.


Finally,if a leader did decisions on hisown, his burden will be too heavy and histeammates will just follow his ideasand lack enthusiasm for work, which is apotential threat for the further developmentof a company.


Ina nutshell, to be an efficient leader,one must decide the most important andurgent issues rather than decide everydecision, and leave other decision makingchances to potential, well skilled members.

面具小姐

9.4 TPO9综合


The reading passage provides threeexplanations that the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine will replace theinternal-combustion engine. The lecturer, however, holds on opposite view forthe fuel-cell engine has many disadvantages.


Firstly, hydrogen is not easily accessible.Although hydrogen can be produced by water and natural gas, it has to be usedas pure liquid state. This state is hard to produce and store artificiallybecause pure liquid hydrogen should be kept in rather cold condition, say, minus253 Celsius degree. Thus, it is not a substance that easy to get and use.


Secondly, the fuel-cell engine will notsolve the pollution problems. Even though the cars will not produce pollutedgas, the factories, which burn coals and oil to get energy for hydrogen fromwater and gas, will produce pollution.


Finally, fuel-cell engines will not beeconomically since manufacturing these engines will contain a raw expensivematerial, platinum. Without this component, the mechanical reaction to get hydrogenwill not happen. However, trials using economical materials to produce hydrogenare all unsuccessful. Therefore, platinum is needed to manufacture theexpensive fuel-cell engines.

面具小姐

9.4 独立作文

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? An effective leader should try to make others feel that they arepart of the decision making process.

In this day and age, leaders are profoundin decision making. Thus, whether they should make everyone aware of theirdecision making does make sense. From my standpoint, an efficient leader doesnot need to join in every conference.


First and foremost, busy as leaders, theyhave no sufficient time to participate in all meetings and discussions. Takethe hierarchy for example. In the past, kings and queens had to deal with alarge amount of national affairs everyday. Without sleeping, they still could notfinish such piles of work. Therefore, they used to pick out some crucial partsand lead the public debate, while other parts were assigned to responsibleofficials. With this strategy, the national leaders usually operated theircountry in a good condition. Thus, current leaders will be sensible to adoptthis method to manage their companies.


Secondly, by offering the responsibleofficials opportunities to deal with issues on their own, an efficient leaderis able to stimulate their potentials, strengthen their abilities and show hisor her trust to the members. For example, currently, many multinationalcorporations are seizing the chance to extend their foreign markets. Jack, afriend of mine, is one of the founders who established Rose Group in America in1993. Recently, as the CEO of an IT company which is belonged to Rose Group, hecame back to China to open up a market in Chengdu, Sichuan Province. He once toldme via emails that the chairman left this assignment to him and barely helpedhim make decisions. Jack took this assignment as an appreciation for it is away to improve his abilities in various aspects; It is also efficient for thechairman. Thus, the leader should leave some opportunities to those he believein to train their skills, which will strengthen the cohesion of whole group.


Finally, if a leader did decisions on hisown, his burden will be too heavy and his teammates will just follow his ideasand lack enthusiasm for work, which is a potential threat for the further developmentof a company.


In a nutshell, to be an efficient leader,one must decide the most important and urgent issues rather than decide everydecision, and leave other decision making chances to potential, well skilled members.

面具小姐

9.3独立修改稿

图图辛苦了~~
Do you agree that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than save money for the future?



People’s various attitudes toward life result in  several kinds of opinions about money. Some people prefer to go on vacation, while others may save money for future use. From my standpoint, I am in favor of the former one for the following aspects.


It is a low-cost, spiritual relaxation to go travelling, especially when you are under great pressure. It is also a bonus since the disturbing and time-consuming assignment has been accomplished. Apart from cleansing our hearts, vacations can  enrichour lives with different sites and unforgettable stories. To those families with kids, parents have little time with them during the weekdays. At this time, going travelling will be a good choice rather than stay at home watching TV.


Trips are full of opportunities. To artists and designers, travelling can stimulate their inspiration. Impressive landscapes, peaceful towns, and even the conversations during the trip may inspire them.Furthermore, many merchants discover new prospects on trips. Take the film, Smile Crab for example. It described a girl and her family who travelled to Xinjiang province in China during the summer vacation. The girl heard from the local partners by accident that the river there contains many freshwater crabs, which even other locals had never discovered. Finally, the girl's father seized the chance to develop this new prospect and achieved success. Therefore, opportunities are always on the road. If you go to pursue them, you may get them.


Although a large group of people choose to save money in case of some emergencies or investments, their lives then are often tedious and of no excitement.However, If you get the chance to see a beautiful landscapes or encounter an unforgettable experience, remember not to miss it for neitherof them can be reproduced again by your saved money.


Hence, journeys can relax ourselves, keep us from the noisy city and even benefit our works. With so many benefits above, I strongly recommend that we should spend more money on travelling and enjoy a better life.

婷婷connie

9.3综合改文
TPO8综合
来找错误啦~红色错误，蓝色讨论，高亮精彩
The reading passage casts doubt on theaccuracy of Chevalier de Seingalt's memoir. The lecturer, however, holds anopposite view that none of the explanations are convincing for the followingthree aspects.


Firstly, Chevalier is not poor despite of the loan（from merchants）. In fact, Chevalierspent a lot of money on parties and gambling. This asset had to be sold formoney and cannot be used directly as cash, thus he has(had)to loan from friends everytime he ran out of money and then wait(waited) for the money to arrive.


Secondly, Chevalier wrote dairy(没有听见这个，只是take notes every time after the conversation with Voltaire)everyday which contained everything he can remember on that day. What's more, he would consult the notes in the dairywhen he was composing the memoir many years later. Thereby, his memoir cancapture those conversations so accurately.


Finally, if Chevalier was bribed to be free, why is that those who hadmore powerful friends than Chevalier in the Venetian prison did not escape?(开头不建议写问句)What's(What is)more, according to a governmental document, the ceiling in Venetian prison wasrepaired after Chevalier made a hole in the ceiling and escaped through the roof.
可以写一个总结的说~

Conclusion：听力细节很全了，适当注意一下结构完整性哦~加油啦

fuzhengrui