issue26,求批改，奢华便利VS独立坚强！

theopenwindow

这篇写得不好，主要是第二个意群的例子比较失败，希望得到指点。。。。

26 The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

（+）确实有这样的现象：奢华便捷的现代生活中，失去坚强和人的独立性，沉湎于享受之中。

（-）但是从坚强和独立的内在要素来看，这种品质和外界条件并没有直接的关系。

（-）关键要从自身出发，有意识地在生活经历中培养这种品质。

20:04
When it comes to the relationship between one’s growth in will and the out conditions around, the speaker agrees that luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life will affect negatively for one's independence and firm. To some degree, it makes sense, but when regarding the topic in a broadener angel, the conditions only plays a small role, far from preventing influence.


Admittely, in daily life of the modern society, we can see many phenomenons that danties have no ability to choose their own way and have no ability to survive themselve, resulting from growing in a rich family. Without any concerning about the basic problems about materious matters, without press coming from immediate dilemmas, some people are unawared about how important the strong will and independence are to one's life. So maybe just indulged in electronic tools like Apple or i-touch, admitted in exatracated life, they are far from sound people. Thus, the speaker makes sense by asserting that convenience and comfortable life may be negative for one's development of independence.


However, even we can set up examples like what appears above, we cannot come to the conclusion so hastily. What exactly does the strong will and independece mean? Not beated by any difficulties and adversaries and supported by the overwhelming power from one's heart are represented by so-called 'strong'. While independence means owning a set of system with which to criticise and judge what happening around. A good example with such extrodinary qualities is the career path of professor Qiao in my college time. Graduated as a Chinese literature student, Qiao became a clerk in a bank. Rejecting the finacial assistance from his rich family, he experienced the ascetic life. But after five years of such life, he turned back to literrature stucying and was admitted by a outstanding literature major to be a master. The reason for all the decisions is that he loves both literatue and common people’s daily life, and he is interested in the relatioship between them. Till now Professor Qiao is striking in his field of culture studying and has done a lot of contribtions.


In this example, never being disturbed by other people or noisy life, keeping insist on his dream job, this is independence in my heart. And not sacred by the threat from economic and starting to live by his own is 'strong'. Despite of owning high-living life, was he indulged in it? No. What the comfortable and rich conditions take to him is, maybe, mass books, a higher plat to see the world, which help build up a matual individeal value system and choose his own career path with a more considerable angels. So to a big degree, not prevented by the luxury life, he get more to set up a sound person.


The point in the issue is the relationship between living conditions and one's growth. And from what talked above, we know that there is no absolute relationship between them. Actually, more other elements will help set up independence and strong will. Enjoying thinking critically while experiencing sorted of things around us, happy or sad, successful or failure. Maybe always jumping out of what we are encontering and considering the thing with a third angel, we can obtain a lot, which all can help us be a iron-person. for another aspect, we should learn to accept different ideas from others, in that we can learn to be strong in rejection and get a salient mind.


Thus, even though the out conditions can affect one’s growth, be more attended on the real growth in heart and will. Always retrospecting, we will get much more.

theopenwindow

Thus, keep all efforts on the nature of independence and strongth, setting up critical system and value position with clear mind from continual retrospecting, so that all conditions, rich or poor, will become advantage for individual's growth.

普渡哥

结尾缺少概括性，我觉得中文列出的第二条可以作为本文的概括结论。