8.11独立修改~

夏之鱼语

To improve the quality of education, 【加个逗号】university should spend more money on salary for professor. Never does the topic of education fail to fantastic our eyes.【不理解哎】 When it comes to 【the】improvement of the education quality，【改成逗号】some people argue that university should spend more money on salary for the professor. But, I do not agree with that【it】.【蓝色标记处有点Chinglish的感觉，或者不那么简洁】



Yet my disagreement does not mean that the important【importance】 of salary 【rising】 should be ignored, but rather included with other indispensable factors, since the salary is a reasonable critia to value the professor’s ability. 【不理解：我的异议并不意味着提高教师工资是不重要的，而是相比于其他一些必不可少的要素而言，因为工资是一个评价教授能力的合理标准。PS：如果你想表达的意思是：我并不是说教师的工资不重要，只是还有其他更为重要的因素。那么这样改如何：I do not mean to ignore the important role of the professor’s salary totally, since it is also an ideal criterion to measure the professor’s capability. However, when compared with the other indispensable factors, such as…, they are not the preference for the university to invest.】Education is also a big market【baby English而且，和后面的一句逻辑不衔接。大的市场是针对商人而言，而这里想表达的意思应该是工资与努力成正比。】, which means “the better job you do, the higher paid you get”.



However, in order to promote the whole quality of university, there is much to leave. First of all, basic facilities is 【a】crucial part, including building schools and dorms【teaching buildings and dormitories’ equipment_这里应该是facilities的列举而不是措施】, greening the campus, setting up the labsand library, etc. According to a survey conducted by Harvard, student【s】 are more willing to study in good environment. Moreover, the academic atmosphere is 【also a】key factor. There is no doubt that 【the】university is the best place to do research for student【s】【for students to do research】. And the【good ,删去the】 academic atmosphere will attract more student【s】 to focus on their study and research during the cherish time【建议把下划线部分去掉,有道说cherish没有只有V.词性】. Take Jenny, one of my friend【s】, as an example. Her major is Chemistry, and she did not like it much before【表达不对，可以说One year before/when she was in high school】. However, a big change happened【things changed】 when she got【went/attended】 to the university. She did not believe how serious her classmates and professor took about the courses,【it is unbelievable for her to understand how her classmates and professors can be so serious about this subject, but gradually, she also …】and then she began to like the class【es】 and experiments in the lab. Interaction influence each student.【interaction makes the influence between students】 Last but not 【the】 least, the quality of education cultivate【s】not only 【the】elite in specialized region【field。。。感觉region会不会更偏向于地域。。。不确定，仅参考】 but also a well-round【well-balanced】student. Beside common course, university should also supply other colorful【various】 courses for students who is interested in them, such as the piano introduction, speech skill【s】, computer coding. Only the university which can catch up 【要不要加with呀？not sure。。。】the step of the world can 【it】get a faster improvement than others.



In sum, my view is that many other elements are superior to the professor’s salary 【which help more】to enhance university education, including basic facilities, academic atmosphere and colorful courses.



备注：考试时如果有时间建议重点检查名词单复数问题，有些用词不太自如，有点词不达意，语句表达偏向chinglish，可以多背些特别的句式，没把握的长难句尽量不写，句式简单总比意思混了要好些。第二段逻辑性不是很强，其实我还没理解这段在文中所起的作用：如果是观点之一，那它和下面那段的关系式并列还是递进？有点抢了下面观点的感觉。

最后，以上内容仅代表个人观点，多多指教~~^ ^