羊羊也来ROCK WRITING咯~~~

diyangyang

咩 722还有5天了
羊羊是不是有凑热闹的嫌疑...
anyway出发了就不晚嗯嗯
谢谢鸟儿和happy的鼓励
羊羊也来写个作文呢~

ps：羊羊是水平真心有限...给大家添麻烦了...呼不过有信心
为三站打基础吧...
加油~~~

kchszy061ban

亲耐的yangyang加油额！

晨依Jacqueline

羊羊加油哦~看了你的综合真的好棒！有前途~~

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage explores the issue of the advantages of replacing the car's main source of power, the internal-combustion engines, by the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines. The professor's lecture deals with the same topic. Although she agrees with that the using of fossil fuel will produce lots of carbon dioxide and do harm to the environment, she challenges that the solution of the reading part is unreasonable. And in the lecture, the professor raises doubt about the points mentioned in the reading one by one.

First, the reading passage suggests that the source of hydrogen is quite wide, and we do not need to worry about whether it will be used up. However, the professor argues in the lecture that it is not so easy to get hydrogen. This is because that the purity of burning hydrogen needs to be very high, and it asks for a high technological level, which is difficult to reach. What's more, the storage of liquid hydrogen also needs a high level of artificial technology. So it is not practical to get the recourses.（前两段写的很好，稍微增加些细节会更好些额）

Moreover, contrary to the statement in the reading that hydrogen-based fuel cells will be friendly to the environment, the professor contends that it is not that simple. She admits that burning of hydrogen will reduce the pollution, but the abstraction of hydrogen from the raw materials will cause pollution. The machine that produces hydrogen will use lots of coals and oil, which will turn into(这里应该用产生好一些额) carbon dioxide later. So the energy（this kind of energy特指一下额）will pollute the environment in other forms.

Finally, the professor assets that burning of hydrogen will not save the cost, however, the author of the reading claims that fuel-cell engines will be more efficient. The professor proves her idea through raising the fact that the components of fuel-cell engines is quite high, and the replace substitute of the material has not been found successfully. So the use of fuel-cell engines will be expensive.


蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
Both of the reading passage and lecture discuss about the reason why some sea otter populations get reduced. The reading analyzes it as the environment pollution, while the professor thinks that the attacking from their predator cause the accident. And in the lecture, she challenges the points mentioned in the reading one by one.

First, the reading passage suggests that the leak of oil or some industrial chemical substances will pollute the water. However, the professor argues in the lecture that the fact can not prove this is true. If the death of sea otter is caused by chemicals, there should be the bodies of them on the beach.（这里总结一下）

Moreover, contrary to the statement in the reading that as other sea mammals also get declined at the same period, they must all die from the pollution, the professor emphasizes this is a good example to explain the declination is caused by predators. Human hunters hunt all kinds of sea mammals that declined, and only the small fishes can get existed. Also as the food resources for some big mammals are getting less, otter will be the diet to some big animals.

Finally, the professor asserts that the uneven pattern of otter decline owns to the size of their predators, whereas the reading passage claims that it is caused by the uneven concentrations of pollutants. She supports her idea with the fact that, the otters will be more in location that water is shallow than the location that water is deep, because their predators can not swim（这里是predator不能到达shallow and rocky areas） in a shallow water area.

总体都很好额，就是有些要用文中原词的地方还是要用的额。

diyangyang

7.19综合作文 tpo10
Both of the reading passage and lecture discuss about the reason why some sea otter populations get reduced. The reading analyzes it as the environment pollution, while the professor thinks that the attacking from their predator cause the accident. And in the lecture, she challenges the points mentioned in the reading one by one.

First, the reading passage suggests that the leak of oil or some industrial chemical substances will pollute the water. However, the professor argues in the lecture that the fact can not prove this is true. If the death of sea otter is caused by chemicals, there should be the bodies of them on the beach.

Moreover, contrary to the statement in the reading that as other sea mammals also get declined at the same period, they must all die from the pollution, the professor emphasizes this is a good example to explain the declination is caused by predators. Human hunters hunt all kinds of sea mammals that declined, and only the small fishes can get existed. Also as the food resources for some big mammals are getting less, otter will be the diet to some big animals.

Finally, the professor asserts that the uneven pattern of otter decline owns to the size of their predators, whereas the reading passage claims that it is caused by the uneven concentrations of pollutants. She supports her idea with the fact that, the otters will be more in location that water is shallow than the location that water is deep, because their predators can not swim in a shallow water area.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage analyzes the issue of the accuracy of the Chevalier's memoir. The professor's lecture concentrates on the same theme. However, she argues that the Chevalier's memoir is reliable and accurate, which challenges what the reading states. And in the lecture, she raises doubt about the points mentioned in the reading one by one to support the(her) idea.

First, even though the reading passage suggests the Chevalier was not as rich as he claims in his memoir. He still borrowed a lot of money from a merchant when he lived in Switzerland. The professor argues that in the lecture that the phenomenon can not prove that Chevalier was poor. The reason he did not use his own money was in Switzerland（这句很多余了，嘿嘿。）, if you wanted to get the cash, you had to wait for a few days. So in order to take the turnover of money, Chevalier needed to borrow some money. Clearly, the professor's argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.

Moreover, contrary to the statement in the reading that it is impossible to record conversations between him and writer Voltaire so accurately, the professor contends that it is possible. She argues the point with the facts that during that period, the two writers nearly spent every night together and Chevalier would write down the details. Also someone finds the note he took these days about their dialog.（这里的细节）

Finally, the professor shows that it is unlikely that Chevalier got away from the prison by bribing, which the reading claims. She offers the fact that the persons who were more powerful than Chevalier could not leave the prison through bribing. Also, the documents had ever represented some details that Chevalier escaped from the prison.（证据显示的是repair，这个是yangyang的推断额）

整体很好额

diyangyang

The reading passage explores the issue of the advantages of replacing the car's main source of power, the internal-combustion engines, by the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines. The professor's lecture deals with the same topic. Although she agrees with that the using of fossil fuel will produce lots of carbon dioxide and do harm to the environment, she challenges that the solution of the reading part is unreasonable. And in the lecture, the professor raises doubt about the points mentioned in the reading one by one.

First, the reading passage suggests that the source of hydrogen is quite wide, and we do not need to worry about whether it will be used up. However, the professor argues in the lecture that it is not so easy to get hydrogen. This is because that the purity of burning hydrogen needs to be very high, and it asks for a high technological level, which is difficult to reach. What's more, the storage of liquid hydrogen also needs a high level of artificial technology. So it is not practical to get the recourses.

Moreover, contrary to the statement in the reading that hydrogen-based fuel cells will be friendly to the environment, the professor contends that it is not that simple. She admits that burning of hydrogen will reduce the pollution, but the abstraction of hydrogen from the raw materials will cause pollution. The machine that produces hydrogen will use lots of coals and oil, which will turn into carbon dioxide later. So the energy will pollute the environment in other forms.



Finally, the professor assets that burning of hydrogen will not save the cost, however, the author of the reading claims that fuel-cell engines will be more efficient. The professor proves her idea through raising the fact that the components of fuel-cell engines is quite high, and the replace substitute of the material has not been found successfully. So the use of fuel-cell engines will be expensive.

diyangyang

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Asked what company will do to make profits, the response in executive level has a boilerplate answer：the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees. Some people agree with the proposal, （这里应该加上另外一部分人的相反观点吧）and before rendering my stand, I think it is essential to take a glance at the argument on both sides.

Undeniable（这个用adv？）, the improvement of the employees’ skills is necessary (for companies不加上我总觉得不完整). With the better skills, employees can improve the work efficiency and increase the profit of company. Also as the employees are more skillful, they can handle many problems that may used to be difficult. The skills make the staff to be more confident. They tend to be more competitive than the staff in other companies （who do not have the similar trainning）. (最后一句显得和突兀额)The atmosphere of working place gets to be better.

However, many more valuable investments are waiting （for）company to make. With the money saved from the employee’s skills improvement, company should（can，） spend（these） money on exploring more fields. Although many companies have good reputation in their major field, the competition is acting more and more intense. To deal with the pressure from other companies, they have to cut down price from the profit（这个可以不要额）. And the inflation brings the cost to higher points everyday, so the companies have to make explorations of the fields that can profit more. (For example,) My sister works at a company that used to mainly deal with the feed of livestock. People lived nearby all came to buy chickens and beef here. But as the cost of the raw materials getting higher and higher, the company almost closed down. One of the leaders decided to spend a sum of money to do a market research though some others did not agree. The result shows that the market for cooked food was still quite immature, so they opened the market of cooked food immediately. With a good reputation and good skill, the food they made always sold out before the Close Time. They made the success in a new field.

What’s more, the company also can lay out money to some college scholarship programs. The money is ready for the student who does a good job in school learning but with a poor economic condition. The company can sign a contract with the students and let them work for the company after they graduate. In this way, the company can get a batch of excellent employees each year, and the strategy also helps the company save the money of doing lots of interviews. Moreover, it also solves part of the problem of unemployment in the society. As we can see, it benefits not only the company, but also the community.

Just as what I mentioned above, I consider that there are some other fields worth the investment of company,(. )so it is unreasonable to make the to improvement of the employees’ work skills as the most important.



整体很好额，举例也很好。前两段要是总结写就更好了

-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/7/18 10:18:54)

谢谢kch~
羊羊想问下是不是名词前面一定要加冠词啊~

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Asked what company will do to make profits, the response in executive level has a boilerplate answer：the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees. Some people agree with the proposal, （这里应该加上另外一部分人的相反观点吧）and before rendering my stand, I think it is essential to take a glance at the argument on both sides.

Undeniable（这个用adv？）, the improvement of the employees’ skills is necessary (for companies不加上我总觉得不完整). With the better skills, employees can improve the work efficiency and increase the profit of company. Also as the employees are more skillful, they can handle many problems that may used to be difficult. The skills make the staff to be more confident. They tend to be more competitive than the staff in other companies （who do not have the similar trainning）. (最后一句显得和突兀额)The atmosphere of working place gets to be better.

However, many more valuable investments are waiting （for）company to make. With the money saved from the employee’s skills improvement, company should（can，） spend（these） money on exploring more fields. Although many companies have good reputation in their major field, the competition is acting more and more intense. To deal with the pressure from other companies, they have to cut down price from the profit（这个可以不要额）. And the inflation brings the cost to higher points everyday, so the companies have to make explorations of the fields that can profit more. (For example,) My sister works at a company that used to mainly deal with the feed of livestock. People lived nearby all came to buy chickens and beef here. But as the cost of the raw materials getting higher and higher, the company almost closed down. One of the leaders decided to spend a sum of money to do a market research though some others did not agree. The result shows that the market for cooked food was still quite immature, so they opened the market of cooked food immediately. With a good reputation and good skill, the food they made always sold out before the Close Time. They made the success in a new field.

What’s more, the company also can lay out money to some college scholarship programs. The money is ready for the student who does a good job in school learning but with a poor economic condition. The company can sign a contract with the students and let them work for the company after they graduate. In this way, the company can get a batch of excellent employees each year, and the strategy also helps the company save the money of doing lots of interviews. Moreover, it also solves part of the problem of unemployment in the society. As we can see, it benefits not only the company, but also the community.

Just as what I mentioned above, I consider that there are some other fields worth the investment of company,(. )so it is unreasonable to make the to improvement of the employees’ work skills as the most important.



整体很好额，举例也很好。前两段要是总结写就更好了

diyangyang

7.17独立写作...严重超时了呜呜呜...明天加油...
Asked what company will do to make profits, the response in executive level has a boilerplate answer：the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees. Some people agree with the proposal, and before rendering my stand, I think it is essential to take a glance at the argument on both sides.

Undeniable, the improvement of the employees’ skills is necessary. With the better skills, employees can improve the work efficiency and increase the profit of company. Also as the employees are more skillful, they can handle many problems that may used to be difficult. The skills make the staff to be more confident. They tend to be more competitive than the staff in other companies. The atmosphere of working place gets to be better.

However, many more valuable investments are waiting company to make. With the money saved from the employee’s skills improvement, company should spend money on exploring more fields. Although many companies have good reputation in their major field, the competition is acting more and more intense. To deal with the pressure from other companies, they have to cut down price from the profit. And the inflation brings the cost to higher points everyday, so the companies have to make explorations of the fields that can profit more. My sister works at a company that used to mainly deal with the feed of livestock. People lived nearby all came to buy chickens and beef here. But as the cost of the raw materials getting higher and higher, the company almost closed down. One of the leaders decided to spend a sum of money to do a market research though some others did not agree. The result shows that the market for cooked food was still quite immature, so they opened the market of cooked food immediately. With a good reputation and good skill, the food they made always sold out before the Close Time. They made the success in a new field.

What’s more, the company also can lay out money to some college scholarship programs. The money is ready for the student who does a good job in school learning but with a poor economic condition. The company can sign a contract with the students and let them work for the company after they graduate. In this way, the company can get a batch of excellent employees each year, and the strategy also helps the company save the money of doing lots of interviews. Moreover, it also solves part of the problem of employment in the society. As we can see, it benefits not only the company, but also the community.

Just as what I mentioned above, I consider that there are some other fields worth the investment of company, so it is unreasonable to make the to improvement of the employees’ work skills as the most important.