ISSUE 1求拍

waywong

掐了一下时间写的。。感觉有个例子用得不是特别好。。求指导


     At hand is the issue about whether or not the ability of humans to think independently will deteriorate.The deterioration of the ability, the speakers point out, is caused by people relying more and more on technology to deal with problems, statement that is in fact unilateral, however.So, frankly, I don’t agree with this statement which is attempting to obscure the relationship between the reliance on technique to solve problems and the independent thinking of human beings.



Admittedly, technology has been a very good development in our modern society, but people are seemingly becoming more short-sighted and indolent, thus brings a great many problems to humanity.For instance, the racial and culture conflicts caused by the advanced technology and economic globalization, the war threats especially the nuclear weapons, the environmental pollution such as global warming and nuclear leak, the aggravated gap between the rich and the poor.In this view of point, people’s thoughts seem to really deteriorate by the relying more and more on the technology.

However, it doesn’t mean that human drops their skill of thinking, because high tech can just simplify our life on dealing with some uncreative problems.With the advanced tech, people wouldn’t have to do some unnecessary work, thus they can spare more time than before on working on creative part. Scientists, for example, can use simulation laboratory to get the simulative outcomes of their hypothetical situations.After that, they can think more complicated and abstract, and find some new problems and then propose further hypothesis. They will constantly repeat these steps until they find the most precise answers. The scientists’ ability to think will be enhanced due to using technology to solve problems.In this point, technology severs as the stimulation for people to increase the ability to think.



Moreover, technology is a tool to assist people to solve problems. Although it has incomparable ability to diagnose diseases, plan travel itineraries, translate languages, draw analogies, help to design complex machinery, predict stock values and so on, it need to model the richness and subtlety of human memory and common sense. Thus, under the procedure set by people, the programs of technology couldn’t achieve an intelligent answer or result, such as a wining chess move, as it may rely on its own “man-made superhuman” computing power.And now, we can’t be sure any more that technology hasn’t impaired our thinking and problem-solving capacities and we are more efficient in our badness.



In sum, technology can’t solve any problems, which, many of them, such as environmental pollution, will be work out not only by the improvement of technology but also the amelioration of humans’ moral idea.So, there is no need to argue about whether or not the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate under the continuously developed technology, but rather to introspect ourselves and set targets to improve ourselves and make the society in a better environment.

竹林中人

二楼的意见很中肯，你有必要自己读读，看能不能很顺利地读下来。

waywong

我觉得写得还不错啊

-- by 会员 ppguo (2012/5/16 11:14:00)

谢谢了。希望考场上能写出来吧··

guominhuhu

你好，我大致看了一下，你的句子主谓不一致的问题比较多，还有就是逻辑关系掌握不够扎实。我是从语言的角度分析的，逻辑的层面，有很多可取之处，继续努力。祝好

ppguo

我觉得写得还不错啊