婷婷connie的作文帖~勇者创造机会，愚者等待机会

婷婷connie

托福作文，小样儿，我来了
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-681022-1-1.html

d0gzi

9.20 综合The reading and listening passage discuss the topic over the discovery of T. rex, a dinosaur fossil. （T.G. REX是霸王龙。所以T.G.REX的fossil才是a dinosaur fossil。同位语不对应）The writer holds that the inside materials seem to be remains of the actual tissues of the animals. The lecturer, however, casts doubt on it for following points.

To begin with, the lecturer contradicts the perspective that many small branching channels inside represent the remains of actual blood vessels. He explains that some bacteria would colonize the hollows in the animal's bones after it died. Thus, this soft and moist residue, made of organic materials, may be traces left by bacteria. 细节听得很清楚，好棒。
（
Moreover, the lecturer also opposes the view given by the writer that the presence of spheres could be the remains of red blood cells. To illustrate it, he demonstrates a basic fact: this kind of spheres are also found in some primitives （居然这个词也会写= =）in the neighborhood, which contained no red blood cells. According to him, perhaps these reddish material is the mineral piece such as iron.

Furthermore, the lecturer questions the existence of collagen found in the T. rex's leg bone .As never had researcher found collagen in fossils older than 100,000 years, this 70-million-year-old fossil cannot hitherto maintain the collagen. （原因讲一下就很好了，因为COLLAGEN 不可能维系很长时间）Besides, the lecturer contends that this collagen may come from a recent source-the skin of researchers who are handling （过去时）the bone.


哈哈，发现每次都会改到婷婷的一篇，而且每次都写的挺好的~
分论点全对，细节也多，而且你到底是怎么做到那么多诡异的单词都会拼写的……= =！ 除了我红色标出来的地方其他都挺好的

加油！！

huluhulufei

9.19 综合
The reading and listening passage discuss the topic over the possible explanations which lead to the decline of population of the yellow cedar. The writer puts forward three hypotheses, which, however, are contradicted by the lecturer.

To begin with, the lecturer questions that the yellow cedar decline is the result of insect parasites. According to him, the healthy yellow cedar is much moreresistent to those insects, for it could release a kind of powerful chemical, which is poisonous to insects such as the cedar bark beetle. Besides, those beetles generally eat already damaged and sick trees. Therefore, insect parasites cannot account for the decline of the yellow cedar.

Moreover, the lecturer casts doubt on the hypothesis that brown bears are responsible for the decline of the yellow cedar tree. To illustrate it, the lecturer demonstrates a basic fact: the yellow cedar declines all cross the northern America, including both mainland and island. However, there is no brown bears on the island. Thus, the brown bears cannot be the cause.

Furthermore, the lecturer opposes the assumption of climate change. He argues that it is the yellow cedar at the lower elevation where it is warmer that suffer from greater damage, instead of one at the higer elevation.（此处加一连接词：Therefore 更佳）Though the climate change makes its root system more sensitive, the frost has little to do with the depopulation of the yellow cedar.





信息无缺失，语言流畅，很好！错别字避免一下~

婷婷connie

9.20 综合The reading and listening passage discuss the topic over the discovery of T. rex, a dinosaur fossil. The writer holds that the inside materials seem to be remains of the actual tissues of the animals. The lecturer, however, casts doubt on it for following points.

To begin with, the lecturer contradicts the perspective that many small branching channels inside represent the remains of actual blood vessels. He explains that some bacteria would colonize the hollows in the animal's bones after it died. Thus, this soft and moist residue, made of organic materials, may be traces left by bacteria.

Moreover, the lecturer also opposes the view given by the writer that the presence of spheres could be the remains of red blood cells. To illustrate it, he demonstrates a basic fact: this kind of spheres are also found in some primitives in the neighborhood, which contained no red blood cells. According to him, perhaps these reddish material is the mineral piece such as iron.

Furthermore, the lecturer questions the existence of collagen found in the T. rex's leg bone. As never had researcher found collagen in fossils older than 100,000 years, this 70-million-year-old fossil cannot hitherto maintain the collagen. Besides, the lecturer contends that this collagen may come from a recent source-the skin of researchers who are handling the bone.

d0gzi

Currently, there is a heated topic over friends in the society. Some believe that friends who can offer us assistance are important, while others contends that it is of considerable significance to have friends with whom they can have fun. As far as I am concerned, a friend who can spare no effort to help me counts more. 简单明了，句型多变，好！ 我原来只想到了HELP,原来还可以表达成OFFER US ASSISTANCE和SPARE NO EFFORT... important也可以表达成。。。count more。。！！很妙啊~

At the very beginning, it is conspicuous and ubiquitous that a friend who is able to pull us through a mire benefits us a lot. As an old aphorism goes, a friend in deed is a friend in need. Hardly could an individual make it to avoid confronting problems now and then, especially we college students. Specifically, missing a purse at the cafeteria or getting muscle hurt during the football match, we must feel lonely and helpless since our parents on （No longer?) longer accompany us. Nonetheless, a friend will come to care for us-he will generously lend us some money or get us to treatment in the hospital. These moments will never be forgotten in our life. Here, we witness the warmness and gratitude when offered the selfless help from our friends. 又出现了同义词PULL US THROUGH A MIRE和BENEFIT！！！haobang!!

Moreover, a friend who is always prepared to help us plays an essential role in the our progress. There is no two identical leaves in the world, so is our friends and us. Since every individual has mastery in distinct areas, chances are that we can enhance each other to be a versatile person. To take myself as an case, I majored in physics in the university while my intimate friend Lily did well in English Literature. Most of our campus time was spent together at the cafe where we talked the physics and English. Lily taught me everything she grasped in class and so did I. As a result, we both developed good skills in solving physical problems as well as appreciating the (去掉THE 没特指）English drama. It is the friend who is willing to share experience and knowledge that boosts us to go further in our study.

Admittedly, I concede, to some degree, some people may place large value on the friend who is able to bring us happiness. As this friend can tell interesting jokes or imitate some funny figures, he certainly renders us euphoria. Nevertheless, it is also possible that he will leave us away when we are faced with a dilemma, as he does not want to get involved in. So, the value of this "weather friend" is little, compared to the friend who is always want to share your ups and downs. Additionally, there is nothing to signify that a helpful friend cannot make us smile. （这个点转的好啊！！）Since he will （动词）a favor for us when we are trapped in a quandary and feel the most depressed. In this way, he is the first pereon with whom we are eager to share happiness. 太牛了……语言运用的生动无比啊……

In a nutshell, from what has been discussed, we can safely draw a conclusion that a friend who is ready to help us out is the most important friend we want throughout our live. Only accompanied by them will we embrace a bright future.


没什么特别想说的……有思想有句型有词汇……觉得此文可以被我用来背诵了。。。

婷婷connie

9.19 独立
Currently, there is a heated topic over friends in the society. Some believe that friends who can offer us assistance are important, while others contends that it is of considerable significance to have friends with whom they can have fun. As far as I am concerned, a friend who can spare no effort to help me counts more.

At the very beginning, it is conspicuous and ubiquitous that a friend who is able to pull us through a mire benefits us a lot. As an old aphorism goes, a friend in deed is a friend in need. Hardly could an individual make it to avoid confronting problems now and then, especially we college students. Specifically, missing a purse at the cafeteria or getting muscle hurt during the football match, we must feel lonely and helpless since our parents on longer accompany us. Nonetheless, a friend will come to care for us-he will generously lend us some money or get us to treatment in the hospital. These moments will never be forgotten in our life. Here, we witness the warmness and gratitude when offered the selfless help from our friends.  

Moreover, a friend who is always prepared to help us plays an essential role in the our progress. There is no two identical leaves in the world, so is our friends and us. Since every individual has mastery in distinct areas, chances are that we can enhance each other to be a versatile person. To take myself as an case, I majored in physics in the university while my intimate friend Lily did well in English Literature. Most of our campus time was spent together at the cafe where we talked the physics and English. Lily taught me everything she grasped in class and so did I. As a result, we both developed good skills in solving physical problems as well as appreciating the English drama. It is the friend who is willing to share experience and knowledge that boosts us to go further in our study.

Admittedly, I concede, to some degree, some people may place large value on the friend who is able to bring us happiness. As this friend can tell interesting jokes or imitate some funny figures, he certainly renders us euphoria. Nevertheless, it is also possible that he will leave us away when we are faced with a dilemma, as he does not want to get involved in. So, the value of this "weather friend" is little, compared to the friend who is always want to share your ups and downs. Additionally, there is nothing to signify that a helpful friend cannot make us smile. Since he will a favor for us when we are trapped in a quandary and feel the most depressed. In this way, he is the first pereon with whom we are eager to share happiness.

In a nutshell, from what has been discussed, we can safely draw a conclusion that a friend who is ready to help us out is the most important friend we want throughout our live. Only accompanied by them will we embrace a bright future.

婷婷connie

9.19 综合
The reading and listening passage discuss the topic over the possible explanations which lead to the decline of population of the yellow cedar. The writer puts forward three hypotheses, which, however, are contradicted by the lecturer.

To begin with, the lecturer questions that the yellow cedar decline is the result of insect parasites. According to him, the healthy yellow cedar is much more resistent to those insects, for it could release a kind of powerful chemical, which is poisonous to insects such as the cedar bark beetle. Besides, those beetles generally eat already damaged and sick trees. Therefore, insect parasites cannot account for the decline of the yellow cedar.

Moreover, the lecturer casts doubt on the hypothesis that brown bears are responsible for the decline of the yellow cedar tree. To illustrate it, the lecturer demonstrates a basic fact: the yellow cedar declines all cross the northern America, including both mainland and island. However, there is no brown bears on the island. Thus, the brown bears cannot be the cause.

Furthermore, the lecturer opposes the assumption of climate change. He argues that it is the yellow cedar at the lower elevation where it is warmer that suffer from greater damage, instead of one at the higer elevation. Though the climate change makes its root system more sensitive, the frost has little to do with the depopulation of the yellow cedar.

婷婷connie

恩恩，我前一阵子刚考完G,还没恢复过来，尽量写好吧~

d0gzi

9.18 独立In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.


As an old epigram puts, experience is the best teacher.（ 名言警句~ OH YEAH~）  The past offers us with knowledge and experience to slove problems which exerts considerable impacts on our process of tackling troubles. Therefore, we are supposed to refer to the past, yet we cannot learn from it arbitrarily. Several points in different dimensions will be demonstrated and explained to bolster my perspective.

At the very beginning, learning from the past makes us avoid committing the same mistakes again（感觉用PREVENT US FROM COMMITING THE SAME MISTAKE会不会更好？）when searching for approaches to solve the problem. As the basic principles of our society are inclined to stay relatively stable, the past shows a good guidance for us. To take my own experience as a case, I once bought a cellphone from the commercial advertisement displayed on television, for its low price is compelling. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a fake one with poor functions even if it was good inappearance. Since then, I learned to pay much attention to purchases in case of similar cases. Hitherto, I have never been cheated again. 逻辑清晰。

Furthermore, since some intricate matters developed from the past, only if we retrospect these previous days and years could we come to surmount these troubles. Rome cannot be built in one day, so does a mire faced by people.（好棒！！） For example, currently, the matter of employment captures residents' concern more than ever. Even though a mint of investment has been pitched to the economic field, this quandary still presents heavy pressure on unemployed ones. Under this circumstance, the government turns to review the past, then it realizes that the matter is largely due to the boom of birth in last century. To solve the problem, a policy which limits birth rate is carried out. In return , the situation of employment gets better and better. 逻辑依然清晰。 TAT 大姐我怎么觉得那么多GRE词汇……给拜……

Nonetheless, we must notice that situations are changing now, so we ought not to obey every experiences derived from the history. Specifically, during the period of Qing Dynasty, governed by the thought of feudalism, the king restricted people’s freedom from trading with foreigners in sake of the nation’s security. While for the same purpose to protect the state, China now ratifies an opening and reform policy, which greatly boosts the communication with western countries to assimilate advanced thoughts and cultures as well as technologies. And China is flourishing since then. Here, it sets a good example of learning from the past with circumspections.

In a nutshell, considering all analysis above, it is time to applaud the certitude of the retrospection from the past, for it enables people to avert the same faults as well as to work out the trouble in comprehensive aspects. As long as people be alert to the nuance will they ultimately succeed in the settlement of those troubles.



觉得很好啊~ 讲道理清晰，词汇复杂（我不得不时不时查字典T-T），句型也很棒！！
加油加油……
= = 话说这个可以当GRE作文了吧……

婷婷connie

9.17 综合
9.17 综合批改   错误建议好
The reading and listening passage discuss over the topic over（about） the planation plantation(额，是打错啦（这是啥？不认识。。均夷作用？是不是打错了） of genetically modified trees. The writer believes that it will bring lots of benefits, which, however, is contradicted by the speaker for (+the) following points.

To begin with, the writer holds that genetically modified trees are able to survive (survive:transitive verb:to continue to exist or live after *survived the earthquake，所以没有必要加介词)（in ） the harder environment. Conversely, the lecturer casts doubt on it. The natural trees are born with genetical diversity which ensures some individuals of the species to resist certain severe situations. In contrast, genetically modified trees are uniformed in genetics, (加个连词)and they may suffer from a challenge which they have never met before and eventually die out.

Moreover, the lectureralso questions the economic benefits brought by thosethe genetically modified trees.  （一段的开头最好还是不用代词的好，因为those trees 不知道指谁，说全称避免指代不清的问题）To illustrate this, she presents a basic fact: according to the law, every time, the farmer who want to plant those genetically modified trees and collect their seeds must pay the company which has designed genetically modified trees. Thus, this is a huge hidden cost.

Last but not least, the lecturer contends that it is more damagesthat genetically modified trees bring to the endangered native trees. Since those particular trees are designed to grow more aggressively, chance chances are(is) big that they will outcompete the natural trees, specifically, on the sunlight, soil nutrients and water. Therefore, the unique or rare species will confront bigger hazard.

我问Alex,他说没有字数限制啊。到底谁的对呀？



改的好细心哦！！嘿嘿，学到好多~

上次看了一个专门介绍综合的ETS视频，说是有字数限制的。

戳一下http://video.sina.com.cn/v/b/83943280-1454525442.html