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[作文互改] issue32,第一篇issue啊,求拍~重谢~~

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楼主
发表于 2012-2-20 22:42:04 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |正序浏览 |阅读模式
32.College students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.大学生应该选择那些容易找到工作的研究领域。


Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.



I partially agree with the
claim that "college students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field". Admittedly, students should consider the employment rate when they choose their study field. However, individuals' interests and tastes also need to be taken into consideration.


Indeed, our choice about profession emphasis depends in large parts on job factors. On one hand, because many positions have educational requirements and employers usually prefer to hire those with advanced degrees, many students choose to go to university just to get a bachelor degree and then get a satisfied job. Naturally, numerous students choose their study fields depending on the availability of jobs. On the other hand, the economic base determines the superstructure. Without a rich salary we might not afford to pay for our daily demands, such as health insurance, house loan, education courses and so on. And a responsible person has to have a good job to support his or her family, so it is understandable that the salary and  employment rate are the prime considerations.



However, when we choose the field of study, the availability of jobs should not be the only factor we need to consider, the interest is of equally importance. Interests could stimulate our learning enthusiasm. Thus, we would be more active in learning and more likely to succeed. For example, Han Han, a Chinese professional rally driver and best-selling author, quit school and did what he was interested in---writing and racing following seven subjects failure in the senior middle school second year examinations. Now, he makes it. If he remained in school to study a so-called popular major just for a degree and a job but he took no interest in, maybe now he is just a commonplace being and even we might not know who is Han Han. It is because of his courage to persue what he really interested in that he could work with utmost passion and then succeed.



Yet, job factors and individuals' interests are not contradictory. We should develop  our multifarious tastes as consistent with the hot fields as possible. Then we could easily choose our field of study which is popular in the job market. That is the best result. However, when what we are interest in disaccords with the hot field, follow your interest. If you can do the best in the least popular field, you can also have a success. Then you need not to go out and find one yourself; everyone is going to offer you one on a gold plate.



From what we discussed above, the suggestion the author gives is reasonable to a certain extent. Meanwhile, we should foster multiple interests and integrate our interests and the availability of jobs. Then, a win-win success can be made.
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地板
发表于 2012-2-24 11:10:42 | 只看该作者
谢啦 呵呵 麻烦能给出一些建议吗,比如不妥的地方?呵呵 谢啦
-- by 会员 山依格紫 (2012/2/23 21:11:06)

你的第四段建议能充实下,最好能举个例子增强说服力。其他的,语言如果可以的话可以进一步提升下,词汇的变换和表达方式的灵活,这个需要时间积累,也不勉强
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-2-23 21:11:06 | 只看该作者
谢啦 呵呵 麻烦能给出一些建议吗,比如不妥的地方?呵呵 谢啦
沙发
发表于 2012-2-20 23:03:52 | 只看该作者
第一篇Issue,写的很不错啊,可能是我自己的水平不高吧,我感觉结构安排、内容都很好,语言也很简练,没有赘余和冗长,继续努力!
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