750/AWA 4.5 一个大大的问号 神秘疑问 跪求解读！！

dxy121

我英文水平不错，AWA也非常认真准备自己的，练习了20篇以上，现场发挥也很好，分别写了将近500字。本以为5.5或6没问题的！

没想到啊没想到，分数出来，居然是4.5(37%)

狂汗不止。。。。。。。。。

各位高手 大牛 师傅们，到底是为啥呢？？？  跪求解读
或许A，是我想得太多，CAT愣是没看懂？
或许B，是我料加的太足，把CAT给咸着了？
或许C，是我模板太精致，CAT以为我是临摹？
或许D，是我错别字太多？

求解读！！！


我的练习模板如下：

AA template
In this argument, the author concludes that A. To support his conclusion, the author offers several reasons. First, he points out that B. Second, he reasons C. Furthermore, he assumes D. At first glance, the argument appears to be somehow convincing. But by a closer examination, I found this argument is groundless because it is based on several inadequate evidences and dubious assumptions. Just a few analyses below will reveal how invalid this argument is.
To begin with, the author is wrongly engaged in the ‘after this, therefore, because of this’ reasoning. The line of reasoning here is that, because AA happened after B, the former was caused by the latter. However, it is imprudent for the author to claim unless all other possible causal factors that may also are the reasons of the happen of B have been considered and ruled out. For example, C and D, either one of those can cause B. Thus, the author’s conclusion that B is caused by A is dubious as he fails to take all possible causal factors into account.
Additionally, the argument rests on a doubtful assumption that the implementation of A will lead to the result of B. However, further analysis will demonstrate that, A is neither the only one required element to form B, nor even a necessary one. For example, C and D are both indispensable to generate the result of B. Moreover, the happen of B might requires the efforts of a whole set of elements, including but not limited to C and D. Thus, it is unreasonable to conclude that A will lead to B. Any decision aimed at addressing B must be based on a thorough investigation of all above mentioned factors.
Moreover, this argument is based on a survey which is worthless to be an evidence to prove D. The sample of this survey is too X to be either sufficient or representative to prove so. For example, D might be quite various at different time or different location. Thus, to generalize the view of D is not convincing. And, the process through which the survey was conducted is also questionable. By considering above factors that how dubious this survey is, it is groundless for the author to draw any conclusion at all based on it, unless the author can prove that the sample is random sampling from range that is big enough to be representative.
Another logical problem that seriously weakens this argument is an analogy fallacy. The author assumes that, because B is similar to A in all respects, the performance of B will be sure once the process of A was applied to B. However, a mere positional correlation between A and B is not enough to prove that their analogy. On the contrary, the fact is that, B is not analogous to A, and this result of B is not guaranteed. For instance, two important elements, C and D, are obviously prominent in the environment where A was formed, but they are both absence from the environment of B. So, the assumption that B will have the same performance of A is not likely to happen. Moreover, the author ignores other possible definitions of A, thus, he must establish the meaning of vague concept of A at first.
Last but not least, this argument commits a fallacy in the conclusion, as it only present the mutually exclusive choices, either A or B, but no room for a joint solution, to the readers. The truth is that, adjusting A and B simultaneously will result better outcome. For example, E. Furthermore, if it turns out that the author mistakenly ruled out other contributive factors like C and D, the most effective solution would be a combination of A, B, C and D. Accordingly, the author failed to demonstrate any justification on his proposal of such mutually exclusive choices imposed to the reader.
In conclusion, this argument is not persuasive as it stands. The author fails to prove the credibility of the survey and the sample of the survey, and he also overlooks other essential factors which are also necessary to form B. Thus the conclusion of the author’s that A is not convincing. To strengthen his argument, the author would have to provide more concrete evidences support C, and have to demonstrate the reliability of the survey. Only with those, can this argument be more than just an emotional appeal.

11.    AI template
The issue of whether A is a complex and controversial one. As usual, one thousand people will hold one thousand opinions on it, as they stand on different backgrounds and emotions. For example, some people may assert B, while others may believe D. Thus, the author’s conclusion B is overly simplistic. By considering the complex nature of this issue from multiple angles, I agree with the author on B under circumstances D, while I do not agree with him because B will need a supplementary conclusion as C. My position is based on a substantial analysis to be explained below.
In the first place, I agree that B. The reason to support my view is that F. A good example to examine my reason can be found in the case of G. Coincidently, a recent research about M demonstrated the same result as I just predicted. Hence, my conclusion is not mere some general wisdom, but a fact supported by practical statistics.
In the second place, I am in favor of C under circumstances D. To illustrate, let’s look into the example of N. Hereby, as long as D, C is reasonable.
Admittedly, it is natural that there will be some voices against my above point of view. For example, people may argue that F. Under some particular cases like M, F sounds reasonable. However, realizing that such cases like M are so rare, it is not common enough to just generalize the argument of F as a universial fact. Thus, I would clarify that, even under certain special cases the actual practices would need to be adjusted to G, the major conclusion of B is still undisputable.
To sum up, rarely can other issues be more complicated than this one. And the author is too hasty to just claim that B because he overlooks many key essential factors. Nonetheless, by taking all above considerations into account, now I am quite confident to arrive at my conclusion that B. While under D, C is a supplementary conclusion.

Gracejessica

我想问那个37%代表什么？4.5还低啊~~~，我觉得还行吧

gwy419

作文分不很重要 4以上就可以了 总分这么高 不用担心啦

honeydd

会不会是拼写错误太多了？

yukizz

稍微一看就觉得跟我的好像啊。。。。。给低分的原因应该就是重复太多了，每个人的都很像

mochysisu

模板很不错啊..是不是填进去的内容不是很多呢..

画屏幽

我的情况和楼主一样啊。。。也是750+4.5。。。

SophieYoung

字数好多啊，觉得有种花眼的感觉。。。

prinElvin

个人浅见，模板和字数其次，关键是你有没有把每一点好好地develop。
AA是用具体的情况来反驳，AI是看你有没有把自己的例子develop到与你的观点紧密契合。

另，模板中废话太多不是好事。

fengshou

你的模板是你自己原创滴么？