求助：这模板开头结尾是不是太长了？

amanda621

开头：The author of this argument claims/recommendation that…To endorse this claim, several reasons/certain statistics are offered in support of this argument. First of all, the author bases his or her claims partly on the fact that…In addition/what’s more, the author asserts/assumes that…For additional support/ In further support of, the author points out that…At first glance, the author’s argument appears to be somewhat convincing, but close scrutiny of this argument reveals that the conclusion is based on some dubious assumptions and the reasoning is biased due to the inadequacy and partiality in the nature of evidence provided to justify the conclusion. This argument is problematic for the following reasons.



结尾：With some essential information still in absence hence, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author claims. So this weaken argument, which the author has not succeeded in providing in compelling for… , is not persuasive as it stands. To make the argument more logical, the arguer must provide a thorough … available alternatives / more specific evidence concerning that…Besides, to better assess the argument, we need more… The arguer should also demonstrate that…to make this argument logically acceptable. Finally, to better evaluate the author’s claim we would need more information about… (Provide a thorough cost-benefit analysis of available alternatives and rule out factors other than…that might be affecting current profits negatively.) Only with more convincing evidence could this argument become more than just an emotional appeal.

crystalvine212

开头太模版化了 额 而且- - 爆长  文章主体是重点

demonlin

比我的长好多。。