你开头说：“I completely agree with it because I believe that...”这么绝对的观点，表示你需要找三个理由来支持business leader的影响力更大。（顺带说一句，economic和politic应该改成economy和politics吧）
然后你的第一段，你给了一个很大的方面，于是乎，你写完这个理由就无话可说了，因为这个理由太全面了。你说，business leaders have made the world changed a lot. 你都说了改变世界了，那任何的理由都变成了这个论点的子论点了。其实，你完全可以把这个理由给拆分成三个小点，也就是写成三段。比如，business leaders改变了人们的life style。这时候，Bill Gates的例子就可以用。再者，business leaders极大推动了社会生产力（improve the production condition or increase the production），此时，Ford的流水线就可以拿出来讲几句。最后，再来一个accumulate social capital，推动社会资本的积累。例子就举个John D. Rockefeller之类的，他创建的洛克菲勒财团，旗下包括一系列的石油公司，例如埃克森（Exxon）、美孚（Mobil），还包括一些金融企业，如花旗银行、摩根大通银行等等。这些财团和公司的出现，是美国进行资本积累的一个重要过程。
即使写出了这么三段，还是不行的。因为只字未提government official。而且一边倒的观点也并不合理。所以，这个题目其实采取两正一反的论述方法比较合理。先举两个正面的例子，说business leader在life style方面，极大影响了社会的进步（因为资本积累这个东西，如果没有相关的知识，可能不太好写）。然后，可以反过来说，political leader也能对社会产生重大影响啊，这样的例子就多了，来个Abraham Lincoln的Emancipation Proclamation；或者George W Bush的War on Terrorism，这一系列的战争weaken the support of the US foreign policy and are considered negative for world security；如果外国的不熟，就来个中国的嘛，小平同志的economic reforms应该会好写一点吧。
今天写这个题目的作文 写一半就写不下去了 A powerful business leader has far more opportunity to influence the course of a community or a nation than does any government official.
The above statement states that compared with a government official, a powerful leader has more opportunity to influence the course of a community or a nation. I completely agree with it because I believe that economic is more close to the public and has more direct impact on the life of people than politic.
Historically, business leaders have made the world changed a lot. For example, Henry Ford, the man who put the world on wheels, made everyone own a car by inventing the assembly line, which is a revolutionary manufacturing process. Today, aided by robot and other forms of automation, everything form toasters to perfumes is made no assembly lines. Moreover, Bill Gates, the chairman of Microsoft, is one of the best-known entrepreneurs on personal computer revolution. He popularizes personal computers. Without Bill Gates, human being would not so soon enjoy convenience brought by personal computers. Therefore, we can see that competent and initiative business leaders such as Henry Ford and Bill Gates can use their intelligence not only to create wealth but also change people's life and their influence even transcend the national boarder.
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发表于 2010-2-19 21:58:48
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