Jessie L 的作文训练贴

吃手抓饼的海狸

In times of economic crisis, in which field do you think the government can cut financial support?1. Education 2. Healthcare 3. Unemployment.
Nowadays, being confronted with economic crisis, the government has to make decision about the allocation of its limited resources. In terms of the issue that which field should the government cut financial support, three options are offered respectively: education, healthcare and unemployment. This question arouse a heat debate among the public. Opinions vary from person to person. Someone holds the view that investment used in education should be cut. Some people argues that the government should cut budge in unemployment. Nevertheless, from my point of view, Healthcare is the least needed section among these three options. This conclusion is based on the urgency, related reality and potential outcomes. Here are my reasons given below.

First, based on the current situation, the threshold consideration that the government should take in to account is the urgency of each section. As we know, once the economic crisis outbreak, the most direct effect is the rising unemployment rate. And this index ties closely with people's satisfaction towards government. Thus the government should focus on the unemployment and there is no reason to cut financial support in this section. In addition, comparing with education and healthcare, it is very clear to see that the payback of education clearly outweigh the payback of healthcare for the reason that under the financial crisis, elites are the assurance of resurgence of a company which is in danger. So long as the quality of employees can be ensured, there is no reason to doubt the promising future of this nation.

Second, investing too much in healthcare may cause some undesirable outcomes. If people receive amount  of subsides from the government. Neither will them feel thankful to the government, nor they might ask more to the government. People born with laziness. Thus healthcare offers them an opportunity to ask more. It is the government that uses the money to raises these coach potatoes, thus deepening the degree that the government financial sections are confronted with. In 2014, the Europe debt crisis was a good indicator of my reasoning.

From what has been mentioned above, combining the current situation with the potential outcome, we may easily to draw the conclusion that among these three choices, healthcare is the optimistic option that the government should choose to cut financial support.

吃手抓饼的海狸

people who are try to acquire more than one skill are more likely to become successful than people who just focus on one skill.

Speaking of being success, life poses a choice in front of people that is which one is the easier way to achieve success, acquiring more than one skill or just focusing on one skills. This issue has been discussed for a long period. Different people hold different views. Some people argue that focusing on one skill is the better  However, from my point of view, I believe multisklls is a more efficient way to help people gain success than one skill. My conclusion is mainly based on two aspects respectively: opportunity and personality.

To begin with, one of the most indispensable factors of becoming success is opportunity. More chances a person owns, more chances that the person will become success. As a famous saying goes that "success only embraces those people who are ready to accept it." Acquiring more than one skill is a hard process. Comparing with focusing on one skill, learning multiskill needs to contact with different fields. And the operation of each field is very different. Take myself for example, I am a financial major student and also a debate team member in my school. On one hand ,as for my major, it requires me strict financial analysis ability. On the other hand, my debate team ask me to focus on the ability of expression. One day, there was a competition which involves drawing business plan. Lots of my classmates gave up because it requires students to do presentation in front of a pool of audience. Even though they are specialized in making business plan, but their presentations are kind of like disasters. And I seize the chance and got good grades because I possess both financial analysis ability and presentation ability. Thus acquiring more than one skill can help people prepare for the coming success.

In the second place, in order to develop more skills, people have to communicate with different people, which can enlarge their social network and shape their personalities, As for a man who want to be successful, personality plays a pushing role and social network is also very important. In this day and age, it's hard to gain success merely by yourself. To put it differently, all ways to success involve many aspects and you need help. People acquiring more than one skill are more likely to meet lots of new people and incline to be outgoing. Not only can those people who are met in differnt fields improve your interpersonal skills, but also they can offer some valuable suggestions to your battle fighting for success. However, as for people who just focus on one skill, the range of people that they can meet is limited. Thus based on the reasoning that social network is essential for people to gain success, mutiskll learners tend to be successful easily.

In the view of aforementioned, if we consider the factors that contribute to success, we may easily arrive at the conclusion that people who are trying to acquire more than one skill are more likely to become successful. All in all, opportunities and friends are two powerful weapons that a successful man should equip with.

KateLIAN

这次的作文小错误特别多……
Speaking of being success, life poses a choice in front of people that is (that) which one is the easier way to achieve success, acquiring more than one skill or just focusing on one skills (skill). This issue has been discussed for a long period. Different people hold different views, (. Some) some people argues (argue) that focusing on one skill is the better.  However, from my point of view, I believe multisklls (multi-skill) is the (a) more efficient way to help people gain success than one skill. My conclusion is mainly based on two aspects respectively: opportunity and personality.

To begin with, one of the most indispensable factors of becoming success is opportunity. More chances a person owns (own), more chances that the person will become success. As a famous saying goes that "success only embraces those people who are ready to accept it." Acquiring more than one skill is a hard process. Comparing with focusing on one skill, learning multiskill needs to contact with different fields. And the operation of each fields (field) is very different. 这两句主要表示掌握多项技能并不容易，但和主题关联不大。可以直接进入例子。Take myself for example, I am a financial major student and also a debate team member in my school. On one hand, as for my major, it requires me strict financial analysis ability. On the other hand, my debate team ask (askes) me to focus on the ability of expression. One day, there was a competition which involves drawing business plan. Lots of my classmates gave up because it requires students to do presentation in front of a pool of audience. Even though they are specialized in making business plan, but their presentations are kind of like disasters. And I accepted that chance(seized the chance, take the opportunity) and got good grades because I possess both financial analysis ability and presentation ability. Thus acquiring more than one skill can help people prepare for the coming success.

In the second place, in other to (in order to?) develop more skills, people have to communicate with different people, which can enlarge (expand) their social network and shape their personalities,. As for a man who want (wants) to be successful, personality plays a pushing role and social network is also very important. In this day and age, it's hard to gain success merely by yourself. To put it different (differently), all ways to success involve many aspect (aspects) and you need help. People acquiring more than one skill are more likely to meet lots of new people and incline to be outgoing. Not only can those people who are met in different (different) fields improve your interpersonal skills, but also they can offer some valuable suggestions to your battle fighting for success. However, as for people who just focus on one skill, the range of people that they can meet is limited. Thus based on the reasoning that social network is essential for people to gain success, mutiskll (multi-skill) learners tends (tend) to be successful easily. 这段前几句感觉一个意思在翻来覆去说，个人觉得调整如下
In the second place, as for a man who wants to be successful, personality plays a pushing role and social network is also very important. In this day and age it's hard to gain success merely by yourself. To put it differently, all ways to success involve many aspect and you need help. People acquiring more than one skill are more likely to meet lots of new people and incline to be outgoing. Not only can those people who are met in different fields improve your interpersonal skills, but also they can offer some valuable suggestions to your battle fighting for success. However, as for people who just focus on one skill, the range of people that they can meet is limited. Thus based on the reasoning that social network is essential for people to gain success, multi-skill learners tend to be successful easily. 成功需要助力这些助力不是一个人就能得到的多技能的人blabla

In the view of aforementioned, if we consider the factors that contribute to success, we may easily arrive at the conclusion that people who are trying to acquire more than one skill are more likely to become successful. All in all, opportunities and friends are two powerful weapons that a successful man should equip with.

吃手抓饼的海狸

people who are try to acquire more than one skill are more likely to become successful than people who just focus on one skill.

Speaking of being success, life poses a choice in front of people that is which one is the easier way to achieve success, acquiring more than one skill or just focusing on one skills. This issue has been discussed for a long period. Different people hold different views, some people argues that focusing on one skill is the better  However, from my point of view, I believe multisklls is the more efficient way to help people gain success than one skill. My conclusion is mainly based on two aspects respectively: opportunity and personality.

To begin with, one of the most indispensable factors of becoming success is opportunity. More chances a person owns, more chances that the person will become success. As a famous saying goes that "success only embraces those people who are ready to accept it." Acquiring more than one skill is a hard process. Comparing with focusing on one skill, learning multiskill needs to contact with different fields. And the operation of each fields is very different. Take myself for example, I am a financial major student and also a debate team member in my school. On one hand ,as for my major, it requires me strict financial analysis ability. On the other hand, my debate team ask me to focus on the ability of expression. One day, there was a competition which involves drawing business plan. Lots of my classmates gave up because it requires students to do presentation in front of a pool of audience. Even though they are specialized in making business plan, but their presentations are kind of like disasters. And I accepted that chance and got good grades because I possess both financial analysis ability and presentation ability. Thus acquiring more than one skill can help people prepare for the coming success.

In the second place, in other to develop more skills, people have to communicate with different people, which can enlarge their social network and shape their personalities, As for a man who want to be successful, personality plays a pushing role and social network is also very important. In this day and age, it's hard to gain success merely by yourself. To put it different, all ways to success involve many aspect and you need help. People acquiring more than one skill are more likely to meet lots of new people and incline to be outgoing. Not only can those people who are met in differnt fields improve your interpersonal skills, but also they can offer some valuable suggestions to your battle fighting for success. However, as for people who just focus on one skill, the range of people that they can meet is limited. Thus based on the reasoning that social network is essential for people to gain success, mutiskll learners tends to be successful easily.

In the view of aforementioned, if we consider the factors that contribute to success, we may easily arrive at the conclusion that people who are trying to acquire more than one skill are more likely to become successful. All in all, opportunities and friends are two powerful weapons that a successful man should equip with.

吃手抓饼的海狸

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In a busy and crowded world, we should not expect people to be polite to others.

As for people, communication is of paramount importance. Nevertheless, in the process of communication, conflicts and disagreements are unavoidable. The issue that whether should we expect people to be polite to others is being put under limelight recently. Opinions vary from person to person. Some people argue that it matters a lot for today people to expect other people to be polite. From my point of view, in this day and age, we should not expect people to be polite to other. The bases for my conclusion are mainly two aspect respectively: the heavy stress that today people are confronted with and the burden that expectation put on us.

To begin with, nowadays people with heavy stress and workloads may easily lose their temper, thus behaving a impolite manner towards other people.The competetion in current society is very intense. It is a not a rare vision that wokers plough huge efforts into numerous heavy workloads, making their schedule pecked with countless agendas. Under this circumstance, people may hardly find a time to relax, causing their emotion easily get out of control. How can a person always keep disciplined to courtesy to other even though he is extermly fatigue after a long day work? It’s rational to allow some impolite manners for the reason that we also have the same issue if we are put under such environment. Thus the reality about stress sheds light on my reasoning that it’s unwise to expect other people to be polite.

In the second place, expectation may also pose a potential danger to ourselves. In other words, if other people can’t behavior decent, we tends to be disappointed and feel frustrated because this expectation is counting on other people. However, the truth is that we can’t control other people’s behavior no matter how hardly we try. What’s worse, if we indulge in this dissatisfaction for a long period time, we may also easily get angry, posing an attack manner to other people. Thus the best way to solve this problem is that we should not expect people to be polite.

In view of aforementioned, taking the stress that people are facing and unwilling outcomes that expectation may brings, I strongly hold the view that we should not expect people to be polite to others in this busy and crowded world.

KateLIAN

The basis for my conclusion are mainly two aspect respectively   basis-->base
shed light on -->sheds light on    另外 sheds light on+conclusion总觉得有点怪怪的……

KateLIAN

整篇文章句词很丰富，观点明确，有一些个人意见：
开头段略长，我觉得应该减少一两句。主体段字数增加一些。
第二段：前两句都是以to开头 to be concise-->concisely
            前三句的逻辑是 人们压力大发脾气...-->简单说，就是......--> 成人小孩都压力大......，第二句已经有原因的总结了，但第三句又解释了一遍，觉得有些重复。可以先把详细的原因说完，再用to be concise总结。
第三段：can't behaviour-->behave
            pose用了好多次，可以替换下。比如 to pose an polite manner-->to be courteous

吃手抓饼的海狸

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In a busy and crowded world, we should not expect people to be polite to others.

As for people, communication is of paramount importance. Nevertheless, in the process of communication, conflicts and disagreements are unavoidable. The issue that whether should we expect people to be polite to others is being put under limelight recently. Opinions vary from person to person. Some people argue that it matters a lot for today people to expect other people to be polite. From my point of view, in this day and age, we should not expect people to be polite to other. The basis for my conclusion are mainly two aspect respectively: the heavy stress that today people are confronted with and the burden that expectation put on us.

To begin with, nowadays people with heavy stress and workloads may easily lose their temper, thus behaving a impolite manner towards other people. To be concise, the market in the current society is very intense. Not only are adults facing an overwhelming amount of works, but also students have a bunch of school task to be finished even after school. Under this circumstance, people may hardly find a time to relax, causing their emotion easily get out of control. It’s rational to allow some impolite manners for the reason that we also have the same issue if we are put under such environment. Thus the reality about stress shed light on the reasonable conclusion that it’s unwise to expect other people to be polite.

In the second place, expectation may also pose a potential danger to ourselves. In other words, if other people can’t behavior decent, we tends to be disappointed and feel frustrated. This expectation is counting on other people. However, the truth is that we can’t control other people’s behavior no matter how hardly we try. What’s worse, if we indulge in this dissatisfaction for a long period time, we may also easily get angry, posing an attack manner to other people. Thus the best way to solve this problem is that we should not expect people to pose an polite manner.

In view of aforementioned, taking the stress that people are facing and unwilling outcomes that expectation may brings, I strongly hold the view that we should not expect people to be polite to others in this busy and crowded world.

吃手抓饼的海狸

粉色是改动部分
In times of economic crisis, in which field do you think the government can cut financial support?1. Education 2. Healthcare 3. Unemployment.

In this day and age, when confronted with economic crisis, the government has to make a decision of the allocation of its financial resources. In terms of the issue that in which field should the government cut financial support, three options are offered respectively: education, healthcare and unemployment. This question arouse a heat debate among the public. Opinions vary from person to person. Some people holds the view that investment used in education should be cut while other people argue that the government should cut budge in unemployment. Nevertheless, from my point of view, Healthcare is the least needed section among these three options, which means that government can cut financial support in healthcare.  This conclusion is based on the urgency, related reality and potential outcomes. Here are my reasons given below.

Firstly, based on the current situation, the threshold consideration that the government should take in to account is the urgency of each section. Among these three aspects, healthcare is not as urgent as the other two. As we know, once the economic crisis outbreaks, the most direct effect is the rising unemployment rate. And this index ties closely with people's satisfaction towards government. Thus the government should focus on the unemployment and there is no reason to cut financial support in this section. In addition, comparing with education and healthcare, it is very clear to see that the payback of education clearly outweigh the payback of healthcare for the reason that under the financial crisis, elites are the assurance of resurgence of a company which is in danger. So long as the quality of employees can be ensured, there is no reason to doubt the promising future of this nation.

Meanwhile, investing too much in healthcare may cause some undesirable outcomes. If people receive amount  of subsides from the government. Not only won't they feel thankful to the government, but also they might ask more to the government. People born with laziness. Thus healthcare offers them an opportunity to ask more. It is the government that uses the money to raises these coach potatoes, thus deepening the degree that the government financial sections are confronted with. In 2014, the Europe debt crisis was a good indicator of my reasoning. The demonstration of European who ask the government for healthcare support can shed light on people’s excessive reliance on the government.

From what has been mentioned above, combining the current situation with the potential outcome, we may easily to draw the conclusion that among these three choices, healthcare is the optimistic option that the government should choose to cut financial support.
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Frances82

总体来讲，观点很棒，用词也很漂亮。
第一段：倒数第二句点题，很好。但是观点段太长，不够简洁明了。
第二段：The thesis statement can be clearer. 核心观点句不够突出。" Among these three aspects, healthcare is not as urgent as the other two." 如果是我应该会这样写，仅供参考。
第三段：有一个小的语法错误：neither will them-->they
            例子可以更丰富和具体一点：比如欧洲什么国家有人上街游行抗议减少福利，造成了更糟糕的后果。。。
结尾段：没有大问题，但是建议观点句可以更加清晰。Therefore, it's the optimistic option for the government to cut financial support in health care.  建议在观点句前可以加上in conclusion, in a word, therefore....等一些词来强调，这样会更清楚。