新g Argu 82 修改 求拍~

ykhjy

82) The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of marketing at Dura-Socks, Inc.
A recent study of Dura-Socks customers suggests that our company is wasting the money it spends on its patented Endure manufacturing process, which ensures that our socks are strong enough to last for two years. We have always advertised our use of the Endure process, but the new study shows that despite the socks' durability, our customers, on average, actually purchase new Dura-Socks every three months. Furthermore, customers surveyed in our largest market—northeastern United States cities—say that they most value Dura-Socks' stylish appearance and availability in many colors. These findings suggest that we can increase our profits by discontinuing use of the Endure manufacturing process.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In this argument[memo], the writer suggests discontinuing the use of the Endure manufacturing process based on the evidences concerning a new study how customers purchase Dura-Socks on average every three months despite the socks' durability, and a survey in their largest market about customers' mostly attracted by Dura-Socks' stylish appearance and availability in many colors.[the assumption that customers will never pay attention to the socks' durability by citing a recent study. In addition, according to a survey in their largest market which concerning customers most value Dura-Socks' stylish appearance and availability in many colors, the writer assumes that it is meaningless to continue the use of the Endure manufacturing process and discontinuing use of it can even increase their profits.]Although it seems reasonable at first glance, however, the following questions need to be answered.

In the first place, the writer seems to assume that customers purchases of new Dura-Socks every three months prove that customers plan to wear the socks for only three moths, thus it seems  unnecessary to continue use of the Endure manufacturing process. However, does the evidence really prove that customers don't pay attention to the durability any more? It is doubtful. The fact only shows the frequency of customers' purchasing socks, therefore, it is unreasonable to assume that purchasing new socks means they're forsaking old ones. Since it is only a habit for customers to buy new socks three moths; therefore it is possible customers would continue to wear the old socks after buying new ones.

In the second place, the writer[-] [by] cites[citing] the survey concerning some customers who most value Dura- Socks' stylish appearance and availability in many colors[,][the writer assumes] It seems[-] that durability of socks is meaningless for customers. However, can the survey really totally explain the assumption? It is suspicious[questionable]. It is very possible that at first those customers were attracted by the socks' durability. Then when purchasing more socks, they found that the socks were more and more stylish appearance and also available in many colors, which in turn their desire to purchase the socks. [Thus the suggestion to discontinue use of Endure manufacture process may be unreasonable.]

Finally, even if customers in the survey really pay less attention to the socks' durability, can the survey which was made in Northeast of the United States be representative the nationwide situation? [Can the measure that discontinuing use of the Endure manufacturing process necessarily increase the profits?] I'm afraid not. Although the survey is made in their largest market, it is unreasonable to rule out the possibility that other customers may still pay attention to the socks' durability. [On one hand,] if use of the Endure manufacturing process was discontinued, those customers who also consist of large part of their market may be discontented, thus their profits don't necessarily increase[customers who are part of the larger market may be discontented, resulting in fewer profits for the country.].[On the other hand, stylish appearance and availability in many colors can be easily imitated,only the durability and high-quality can be guaranties of a brand, thus the suggestion to discontinue use of Endure manufacturing process maybe not necessarily increase the profits.]

In conclusion, what dose the frequency of customers' purchases of socks explain? Do the survey's results really substantiate customers' undervaluing the socks' durability? Is the survey representative or not? [Can the measure necessarily increase the profits?] The answers of these questions above lead this suggestion to an unconvincingly reasonable[a unpersuasive] one.  

KnightBM

经典的三段式，不过让步式的攻击逻辑是否用的不是很到位~个人以为让步式的攻击逻辑会使你的文章更符合逻辑性更易拿高分，细节上我就不班门弄斧了，luke会给你细评~

竹林中人

修改后的有很大进步，继续努力！