还有9天就考了 求拍求狂拍 多谢！113issue 社会成功的标志是统治者、艺术家等精英的成就还是人民的福利？

mikezidane

113issue 社会成功的标志是统治者、艺术家等精英的成就还是人民的福利？

TS主要是人民的福利起决定性作用但个体的成就不容忽视

1人均GDP 决定国家实力
2天才伟人能为国家带来荣誉
3精英阶层依靠人民产生

The arguer asserts that the success of anation is not the greatness of its elite class for the reason that welfare of itspeople weight more than the former group of people. I agree insofar that thewelfare of its people to the country is of most importance, while brilliantindividual success can not be ignored.

To begin with, according to the modernsociety, national power of a certain country is mostly indicated by its GDP percapita. This universal measurement proves that the welfare of every tax payer.Involving from feudal to democratic society, the power of ruling the wholecountry has turned to its people, though large in numbers, who develop a systemto wield and balance power called government. Consequently the nation whateverit is called, UK or USA
, Canadaor Australia,is totally belong to the people live on the land. With no doubt can we contendthat the greatness of its people contribute to the success of the country.
However, the geniusof some astute people adds more laurel wreaths to their mother country. Back tothe history of ancient Greece
,a period called "golden age" cultivated countless of sages and warriors aswell. Homer's epic has never fade never fade away after thousands of years. Aristotle,and Plato might never image their thoughts has been considered the fundamentalof western philosophy. These great ancestors impress the visitors most duringtheir visit to this country, Greece,even though it is struggling financially in Euro zonewith a desperate economy.
While look is the importance of individualscan not change the fact that the nation is consist of numerous common people,rather genius. Realistically, the most certain indicator of the power ofcountry should be nothing but the life condition of common people. Iraq saw its plebeian shoot to death during thewar between America
government and their government. Surly their ancestor once built the mostsplendid temple in the desert at that time, without the security of people’sdaily life by no means can these artists and craftsmen created these masterpieceswhich, pathetically, have been destroyedinto ruin during the air raid. In sum, thewelfare of people in a country is the most significant premise of the elite toperform miracles.
In retrospect, it seems precipitous for oneto contend that the nation's greatness can be shown by its artists, leaders,etc. From my perspective, the most rational way for a well-informed observer is to evaluation the country's peoplelife first, after which the achievements of eliteclass ought to be put on the table.    

我觉得每段中心句写的不明显 比较散 大家请多提意见 谢谢谢谢！

竹林中人

1.题目说的到底是国家还是社会啊？这毕竟是两个概念
2.人们的福利不等同于人均GDP
3.伟人带来的荣誉跟社会成功有什么关系
4.第三点有什么关系？
5.中间每段的内容不要一个论点后面就接着写例子。论点前后最好形成句群，相互支撑论证。

mikezidane

谢谢竹林哥指点 很有收获
1.题目说的是国家 我贴上来的时候忘了哈哈
2.人们的福利不等同于人均GDP   那如果用年收入API per capita是否贴切？
3.第二点能否修饰一下  改成伟人自身的成功给国家带来荣誉
4.题目的的焦点主要集中在人民福利和伟人成就的比较上  第三点论证伟人的成就是建立在人民整体福利之上的是不是就能表达人民福利比伟人成就重要
5.每段论点之后我会多加一些论证

谢谢指导！