argu51 求狠拍 谢谢乐

yuandefeiyi

The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants.
"Butter has now been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States.Only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change.Futhermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers cannot distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter'to refer to either butter or margarine. Thus, to avoid the expense of purchasing butter and to increase profitability, the Happy Pancake House should extend this cost-saving change to its reataurants in the southeast and northeast as well."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether....




In the memorandum, the manager recommends that Happy Pancake House should substitute  
margarine for butter in all  of its restaurants in the southeast and northeast. To bolster the  
recommendation, the manager points out that only 2 percent of customers have complained  
about the change and also cites a report which shows that a number of clients who ask for  
butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. However, the argument is  
rife with holes and some questions should be dealt with 。


In the first place, does the statistics that only 2 percent of customers have complained  
necessarily indicate that there was not anything wrong with the change? It is questionable.  
Perhaps the 2 percent of customers are VIP customers  who are used to consuming in Happy  
Pancake House, while the rest 98 percent of clients are just passer-bys. Thus it may be a  
great loss for the restaurants to lost the core customers. Even if the 2 percent of customers  
are same with the rest 98 percent of. Are the 98 people out of 100 really satisfied with the  
change? It is entirely possible that these people have no time to complain to the restaurant,  
or that they do not like express unhappiness in the face-to-face way, and instead they may  
phoned to their friends to tell them not consume in the restaurants. Without considering and  
ruling out these possibilities, the author cannot convince me that the change is well.


In the second place,  is the report reliable? what is the actual number of customers who  
Do not complain the substitution? Until the author provides the detailed information, we  
cannot rule out the possibility that the servers did not pay attention  sufficiently to the  
compliments or that they may alter the report results for personal reasons, thus result in few  
customers have complained when they are given margarine instead in the report. Even if  
the report is reliable, the percent of customers who donot complain the change may be  
insignificant. Hence, just based on the mere report, the manager unreasonably concludes  
that the substitution is successful.


In the third place, do the customers in eastern United States and that in the southwestern  
have same responses ? I am afraid not.  erhaps the clients in southeast and northeast  
prefer the natural food rather than artificial ones, thus they may not like the taste of  
margarine. For this matter, the manager's recommendation that the Happy Pancake House
should extend this change to its restaurant in eastern United states may be ill-advised.


In summary, does the only 2 percent of customers who have complained suggest that it is
not serious problem? Are the rest 98 percent of clients actually happy with the change?
Whether the report is reliable? Is really the number of people who do not complain the substitution
significant? Do the clients in eastern and that in the southwestern have same responses to teh change?
Answers to these questions above may lead to the argument unconvinced.

竹林中人

总的来说，这是一篇很规范标准的Argument，语言表达也还不错。但缺陷在于：1段落开头的连接词，不必这么太常见，换用些的吧。2.你用了很多反问句，这点怎么说呢，适当的时候用下没什么不好，但你的结尾段，这里需要的是你的肯定的用力的总结，再用反问就显得有点赘余了
最后建议，多多尝试下变换表达方式和灵活换用一些近义词，让自己的文采更上一个档次

普渡哥

结构很好，语言组织可以学学满分作文。可以表达得更professional一点。思路很清晰。

yuandefeiyi

恩恩。。我 用反问句 其实是想对应那个 instruction. 然后一般写作都没什么时间，我才结尾就把前面的复制粘贴过去了。。
谢谢各位哈。。