欢迎大家对我的作文拍砖!NO.9

youzi728

一共４０５字，希望哪位大虾帮我改下！哪些地方可以改进些，总觉得我写的东西过于口语化，是不是因为词汇量不够的原因呢？

ＴＯＰＩＣ：some people prefer to live in a small town ,others prefer to live in a big city,which place do you prefer to live in ? use specific reasons and details  to support your answer

 

 

There is a controversial issue about whether to live in a small town or in  a big city depending on personal experience.personality type instead ,the choice neverthless is not easy to make ,However from my point ,liveing in a big city is  more advisable than living in a small town,my arguments are listed as followes

 

In the first place,there are more opportunities in a big city than a small town,people may have many choice to find jobs,maybe a designer ,officer,waiter and so on.for example ,my neighbour who lived in a small town before earned a little money and  could't afford the family,so he came to our city ,now he is works in  a company and earns more money .the living conditions is improved obviously.also you can find a job which is fit for your interest.it is wise to choose a job that you interested and also can make  a living,

 

In the second place ,it is more convenient for us,such as traffic or shopping.you can not find a shop  is opened after 20 o'clock in a small town,.but  there are many convenient shops or restaurants which shop hours last 24 hours in a big city ,.so when you work overtime ,you can eat some food outside and also can  get on the last bus,certainly ,you can take taxi either

 

there is another reason why i cast muy preference to the big city.that is there are more entertainment for leisure,there are many pubs or KTV and so on in a big city ,it  is  the begining of the amusement after 18 o'clock ,when  you off duty,you may choose a pub .because it is can relax your tesion in the workplace,so just release and enjoy yourself, it is probably no exaggeration to say that the  people may go to bed early in a small town.

 

undeniably living in a big city is good in many aspects ,however it has its disadvantages,for one thing is the noise ,for another thing is  the air polluttion.but  for my part,i completely agreee  to live in a big city ,because despite the adverse efforts ,to live in a big city has more advantages.

Joypan

偶感觉MM的第一段的标点就有好几个有问题。大小写也要注意。虽然说不是正式的。但习惯总得养成吧？MM多看看模板吧。总结总结。