issue 15 求修改。求拍。

danielchi · 发表于 2013-4-6 20:36:22

15. Educational institutions should activelyencourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.

Should educational institutions activelyencourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them forlucrative careers? I think this speaker makes a inexact generalization. Although,there is no doubt that lucrative careers play important roles in people’s life,it is incorrect to assert that lucrative careers are the most important. My personalconviction is that educational institutions should give more respect tostudents’ choice.

Indeed, people nedd lucrative careers toguarantee a content life. The evidence, for example, that all people on theearth look forward to much money for their desires, familly expenses and childreneducation, obviously, is indisputable. However, cogent as it is, this assertionis too arbitrary to be accepted to a certain extent.

To assert that educational institutionsshould give more respect to students’ choice. One point that should be emphasizedis the importance of interest. This is a widespread viewpoint that interests alwayslead more content lives for students with some beautiful dreams after theirgraduating. Let us take a look at the following instance. Darwin chose tobecome a biologist instead a doctor as which his father wanted he to become. Ifhe compromised, it is entirely possible that Darwin would have a bored lifefull of remorse as a doctor. Hence, it is one of the most credible evidencethat interst is one important factor for my assertion.

Besides, there is another unexceptionablefact that lucrative careers will make students more gainfull and more avid formoney. Nowaday, money is gradually becoming drug in some people’s life. Studentsare clean ones so that we cannot make their soul dirty when they are just studyingin colleges. According to the recent conditions of crime in the world, it iseasy for us to find that crime rate of people who got high education is moreand more. So, the fault of lucrative careers is conspicuous.

To sumup, it is cursory to assert that educational institutions should activelyencourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them forlucrative careers. Taking account for all factors mentioned above, I deem that educationalinstitutions should give more respect to students’ choice.

PS：感觉这篇写的很弱。。似乎是破题不够到位。希望能给点详细的建议。。。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2013-4-7 09:51:02

1. Although,there is no doubt that lucrative careers play important roles in people’s life,it is incorrect to assert that lucrative careers are the most important. My personalconviction is that educational institutions should give more respect tostudents’ choice.这句话跟话题本身关系不大，话题只是说教育机构应该鼓励学生选择能为他们获得利益的职业的学习领域。这里并没有你所说的“most important”，而且也没有提到是否应该尊重学生，所以从开头看来，你没有抓住题目的point

竹林中人 · 发表于 2013-4-7 09:52:09

这个题目应当是讨论这个建议本身的好坏，可实施性，可能的坏的结果等等

danielchi · 发表于 2013-4-8 10:32:50

竹林中人发表于 2013-4-7 09:51
1. Although,there is no doubt that lucrative careers play important roles in people’s life,it is in ...

谢谢宝贵的意见。我自己再好好研究研究。

君泽 · 发表于 2013-4-8 16:22:08

说点修辞问题。Although,there is no doubt that lucrative careers play important roles in people’s life,it is incorrect to assert that lucrative careers are the most important.
两次出现lucrative careers，可以省略一个，不然显得累赘

danielchi · 发表于 2013-4-8 19:38:25

君泽发表于 2013-4-8 16:22
说点修辞问题。Although,there is no doubt that lucrative careers play important roles in people’s li ...

谢谢。
嗯，应该改成they 更好。

[issue] issue 15 求修改。求拍。

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