4.20二战！紧随队友的脚步！只要开始就不算晚！求拍砖~~

yyjfantasy · 发表于 2013-3-18 13:07:19

大家好~~今天开贴，晚上交出第一篇，先上课去喵~

yyjfantasy · 发表于 2013-3-19 17:37:50

3.18独立
Currently, theswift changes in society have brought the issue of the education to youngpeople into sharp focus. Higher technology, more contacting ways and more abundantmaterial resources all put teenagers to the test. Concerning about the futureof them, I agree the statement that young people are supposed to train theability to plan and organize. Only in this way can they catch the happinessthey want.

Tobegin with, youngsters are required to finish a lot of things in their dailylife, so it is necessary for them to measure time effectively. Probably few ofus have ever stopped to think about how our present-day concept of time.However, people cease to have well-arranged timetable since they graduate fromHigh School. For instance, my friend Tony, who has been an excellent boy duringhis High-School life. But as soon as he attended college, he had a hard timedealing with diverse kinds of club activities. You may say why need he join insuch a lot of clubs. The only reason is that he did not know what he actuallyinterested in! Things went from bad to worse and at the end of the session, Tonyfailed in three courses because of terribly limited time for study.
Also,socially, young people need to be able to discern right from wrong and buildpositive relationship around them. There is various of software for people to acquaint withsomeone strange in today’s society. On one hand it is helpful because peopleare more easily to meet new friend. On the other hand it is danger becausepeople cannot distinguish whether the stranger is good or bad. They must bearin mind that family and real friends are the most import people they have totake care of. When you get sick, it is your parents who are deeply worriedabout you. When you are unhappy, it is your friends who are anxious to make yousmile.
Yetanother thing youngsters should consider is their future. Choosing is a dailyoccurrence. But a choice about career is an important element of individualwellbeing. Losing oneself will ensue if a person keep unable to make a decision.I would like to take myself as an example. When I was a young girl, I neverthought about what I really want to do. Just learning and playing as othersdid, I was not conscious of that I am wasting time. Only when I graduated fromuniversity did I realize that it’s hard for me to find an appropriate job. I couldnot do well in the job I like, on the contrary, I do not in love with the job Icould do. What a pity!
Onthe basis of the above discussion, it is no exaggeration to say that planningand organizing is very important in young people’s life. They must givepriority to improving the ability to control their life.

lihaolan · 发表于 2013-3-19 21:48:36

Currently, the swift changes in society have broughtthe issue of the education to young people into sharp focus. Higher technology, more contacting ways and more abundant material resources all put teenagers to the test（pose a number of arduous test to youngsters）. Concerning about the future of them, I agree the statement that young people are supposed to train the ability to plan and organize. Only in this way can they catch（obtain） the happiness they want.

To begin with, youngsters are required to finish a lot of things in their daily life, so it is necessary for them to measure time effectively. Probably few of us have ever stopped to think about how our present-day concept of time（没看懂。About 后面接名词。）. However, people cease to have well-arranged timetable since they graduate from High School（不要大写）. For instance, my friend Tony, who has been an excellent boy during his High-School life.（语法问题有从句无主句）But（however，） as soon as he attended college, he had a hard time dealing with diverse kinds of club activities. You may say why need he join in such a lot of clubs（从句正常语序why he needs）. The only reason is that he did not know what he actually interested in! Things went from bad to worse and at the end of the session(semester), Tony failed in three courses because of terribly limited time for study.
Also, socially, young people need to be able to discern right from wrong and build positive relationship around them. There is various(myriad) of software for people to acquaint with someone strange in today’s society. On one hand, it is helpful because people are more easily to meet new friend. On the other hand, it is danger because people cannot distinguish whether the stranger is good or bad. They must bear in mind that family and real friends are the most import people they have to take care of. When you get sick, it is your parents who are deeply worried about you. When you are unhappy, it is your friends who are anxious to make you smile.(这段和主题有什么关系。。。。。起码扣下题，，和ability to plan and organise！)
Yet, another thing youngsters should consider is their future. Choosing is a daily occurrence. But a choice about career is an important element of individual wellbeing（变扭。不顺。Making a choice about career will exert profound influence on their future life）. Losing oneself will ensue if a person keeps unable to make a decision.(making decision 和ability to plan 的关系说明下，比如好的计划能力可以做出正确的决定。) I would like to take myself as an example. When I was a young girl, I never thought about what I really want to do. Just learning and playing as others did, I was not conscious of that I am wasting time（of 后面加that 的表达最好不要，可以说be unaware that）. Only when I graduated from university did I realize that it’s hard for me to find an appropriate job. I could not do well in the job I like, on the contrary,(连词不当。。我觉得不是转折吧。都是不幸。) I do not in love with the job I could do. What a pity!
On the basis of the above discussion, it is no exaggeration to say that planning and organizing is very important in young people’s life. They must give priority to improving the ability to control their life.

第三段有点跑题，要扣紧中心！语法要精进。用词还是挺好的。

yyjfantasy · 发表于 2013-3-21 15:00:53

补作业啊补作业、、3.19综合写作 TPO1
The reading passage investigates the topic of that theemployees’ working time in the United States should change into four days aweek. The professor’s lecture is concerned with the same issue. However, heindicates that this suggestion is unpractical, which throws what the readingstates into doubt. And in the lecture, he uses three specific points to supporthis idea.
First, the lecture argues that the shortened workweek willforce the company to pay more money than before. This is because they need to affordfor more work providing trains and more medical benefit as the growing numberof stuff quantity. The medical payment is always the same whether employeeswork four days or five days a week. In addition, there may be extra offices forworkers. Therefore, the reading is wrong to claim that making the workweekshort will improve the proceeds of company.
Moreover, the lecture asserts that there is no assistancefor the country’s unemployment rate. Since the companies do not want to spendmoney to hire new workers, the primary works will be expected to do additionaljob. So the policy will neither help more people hired nor delight workers. Contraryto the statement in the reading that the advantage to unemployment rate.
Lastly, the lecture also challenges the final points that workinga shorter week will decrease employees’ job stability. Whereas the author ofthe reading claims that a four-day workweek is better for individual stuffs.The professor shows that this claim is indefensible by point out that four-dayemployees are more likely to lose their jobs than five-day employees becausecompanies need to ensure continuous coverage and supervision for the entirework time.

yyjfantasy · 发表于 2013-3-27 19:41:30

26 March
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.
When we attend to a university, we are faced to many chances to reflect our capabilities and talents. Acknowledge learned from academic studies is no longer the only thing we can own, which clearly indicates that students can get nearly the same quantity of benefits from organization or club activities as academic studies.
Psychologically, we may gain a lot of fun during our club time. Attending to an organization which is appropriate for us will not only foster our sentiment, but also enlarge our social hub. From the test-oriented education, we have already learned academic knowledge. And from organization or club activities, our outlook has been expanded. I participated in an electronic piano club when I was a seven-year-old girl. Exercising instruments with peers brought me the motivation to keep on studying. We just enjoy the fascination of music and build strong friendship among us. When I finished exercising a song, I would like to share it with my family and gain lots of praise. This activity afforded me the sense of belonging and fulfillment.
Personally, diverse refreshing activities bring students many chances to be well-rounded. We do not need to be adept in some aspects. But we have to go out and communicate with others. A school is society in miniature. We will absolutely find edifications by meeting different people who are athletic, artistic or adept in some aspects. What’s more, our frustration can be driven off easily when we are together with positive people.
Most importantly, extra-curricular activities can mold student’s character to face their future. It is hard for us to build team spirit and think independence, which are essential ingredients of success, during our class time. Never say a stronger emotional quotient thah full of perseverance, self-control and optimistic. My friend Tony, as an example, used to be a self-abased boy before. However, when he got to college and attend to a speech club, he started to change. In the club he was forced to speak loudly facing to numbers of people. At first, Tony was too nervous to say a word. But later, after tough practice and self-encouragement for a few days, he was able to perform well in the club. Tony told me that he found a better himself and he felt intense self-confidence. How happy did I when my friend successfully became a more remarkable man!
Based on all these arguments, I am sure that students can get many benefits which are different with what they get from academic studies.

viviyl · 发表于 2013-3-27 22:26:36

When we attend to a university, we are faced to(with) many chances to reflect our capabilities and talents. Acknowledge(knowledge吧，acknowledge是动词) learned from academic studies is no longer the only thing we can own, which clearly indicates that students can get nearly the same quantity of benefits from organization or club activities as academic studies.

Psychologically, we may gain a lot of fun during our club time. Attending to(可以换个词，participating in) an organization which is appropriate for us will not only foster our sentiment, but also enlarge our social hub. From the test-oriented education, we have already learned academic knowledge. And from organization or club activities, our outlook has been expanded. I participated in an electronic piano club when I was a seven-year-old girl. Exercising instruments with peers brought me the motivation to keep on studying. We just enjoy(ed) the fascination of music and build(t) strong friendship among us. When I finished exercising a song, I would like to share it with my family and gain lots of praise. This activity afforded me the sense of belonging and fulfillment.

Personally, diverse refreshing activities bring students many chances to be well-rounded. We do not need to be adept in some aspects. But we have to go out and communicate with others. A school is (a) society in miniature. We will absolutely find edifications by meeting different people who are athletic, artistic or adept in some aspects. What’s more, our frustration can be driven off easily when we are together with positive people.

Most importantly, extra-curricular activities can mold student’s character to face their future. It is hard for us to build team spirit and think independence, which are essential ingredients of success, during our class time. Never say a stronger emotional quotient that full of perseverance, self-control and optimistic. My friend Tony, as an example, used to be a self-abased boy before. However, when he got to college and attend(ed) to (joined)a speech club, he started to change. In the club he was forced to speak loudly facing to numbers of people(in front of numbers of people感觉介词短语更好一点). At first, Tony was too nervous to say a word. But later, after tough practice and self-encouragement for a few days, he was able to perform well in the club. Tony told me that he found a better himself and he felt intense self-confidence. How happy did I when my friend successfully became a more remarkable man!

Based on all these arguments, I am sure that students can get many benefits which are different with(from) what they get from academic studies.

写的很好，用词丰富，语言流畅，举例也很具体很生动~~

yyjfantasy · 发表于 2013-4-2 22:10:22

1 April
Independent Writing：
Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in?
By the increasing of individual consumption, more and more people prefer to live in metropolis rather than small towns. But it is not my desire. Although modern city can afford me kinds of convenient service, it is too nerve-racking for me to live in.
Economically, the price of commodities in city is much higher than that in small town. If I live in a big city, I will have to pay a large amount of money on basic necessities of life such as cloth and cleaning products, which are cost-effective in small town. Never say the most important thing——the housing price. A house belongs to oneself means a lot. I cannot image that I do not have a house when I am forty years old. But the only way I can own a house is to loan and live in tight budget every day until I pay off the credit. What a horrible thing! However, I can buy a big house in a town almost with ease. So the pressure of survive in a small town is lower than that in a city.
Personally, the agreeable environment of a town can bring me physiological and psychological well-being. I will breathe fresh air and eat organic food. What’s more, I will not worry about living on a sedentary lifestyle. It is stimulating to take care of my own plants and pets, which is also a excellent exercise. On the contrary, if I were in a big city, I will be kind of exhausted by nerve-racking job. Even if I am apart from fierce competition and fine, the densely-populated place cannot accommodate my needs of healthy life.
Socially, the relationship among people is different between cities and towns. In the workplace in a city, the atmosphere is competitive and irritating. Because the lack of communication, everybody seems to be low-profile and keep away from others. The only exception is about bad news, which will go vital in a very short time. As a feeling girl, I look forward to live in a town which is filled with love and care. It is an essential ingredient of perfect life.
For these reasons, I prefer to live in a small town.

lihaolan · 发表于 2013-4-3 12:29:37

1 April
Independent Writing：
Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in?

By the increasing of individual consumption, more and more people prefer to live in metropolis rather than small towns. But it is not my desire. Although modern city can afford me kinds of convenient service, it is too nerve-racking for me to live in.
Economically, the price of commodities in city is much higher than that in small town. If I live in a big city, I will have to pay a large amount of money on basic necessities of life such as cloth and cleaning products, which are cost-effective in small town. Never say(not to mention) the most important thing——the housing price. A house belongs to oneself means a lot(病句两个谓语动词). I cannot image that I do not have a house when I am forty years old. But the only way I can own a house is to loan and live in tight budget every day until I pay off the credit（在城市加上）. What a horrible thing! However, I can buy a big house in a town almost with ease. So the pressure of survive in a small town is lower than that in a city.
Personally, the agreeable environment of a town can bring me physiological and psychological well-being. I will breathe fresh air and eat organic food. What’s more, I will not worry about living on a sedentary lifestyle. It is stimulating to take care of my own plants and pets, which is also a （an）excellent exercise. On the contrary, if I were in a big city, I will be kind of exhausted by nerve-racking job. Even if I am apart（free） from fierce competition and fine, the densely-populated place cannot accommodate my needs of healthy life.
Socially, the relationship among people is different between cities and towns. In the workplace in a city, the atmosphere is competitive and irritating. Because of the lack of communication, everybody seems to be low-profile（impersonal） and keep away from others. The only exception is about bad news, which will go vital in a very short time. As a feeling（emotional） girl, I look forward to live in a town which is filled with love and care. It is an essential ingredient of perfect life.
For these reasons, I prefer to live in a small town.

语法注意下！

yyjfantasy · 发表于 2013-4-3 18:42:05

2 April
Independent Writing：
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement:
The advice you take from the friends who areolder than you is valuable than that taken from the friends at your age.

There is no consensus on whether it isworthy to take an advice from the friends older than us instead of the friendsat our age yet. Honestly speak, having friends of my peer is an enjoyable thing.We can share our growing time, exchange our opinions and exert ourselves to bematurity together. The company from the friends at my age affords meconsolation and comfort. However, when it comes to friends’ advice, I have tosay that owning friends who are older than me is a lucky thing. In other words,if I get confused, I prefer to turn to the friends older than me for advicerather than the friends at my age.

It is obvious that the older people havemore experience than us, which is including both the positive side and the negativeside. They are able to afford us a wealth of precious enlightenment. I wouldlike to take a story happened lately as an example. At those days, I had toprepare my TOEFL iBT hardly. In the meantime, I was asked to finish a paper bymy professor. What’s worse, I had a great number of lessons to attend. I had atime conflict that I had too much task to do and too limited time to use. In myclassmates’ opinion, I should just relax myself and let the trouble go. But I didnot want to acquire nothing in the end. So I asked for my sister, who is alsomy older friend. She told me that a great management of time is an essentialingredient of success. And then she taught me to make a timetable and to do themost important thing first. My sister’s advice went a long way. I was free frompsychological strain and finished all the three things well.

What’s more, the older friends are notonly know more than us, but also more intellectual than us. When they are facedto setback, they will put the trouble in perspective. Quite the opposite, ifthe same thing comes to me or my same-age friends, we may treat the trouble inan emotional way. My older friends’ words are always motivating and impel me torise to the occasion. Without their help, I will be kind of negative or even goastray.

Also, an remarkable friend who is olderthan me is a role model for me. Their own success makes their advice morepersuasive. My elder brother, who is an enterprising man, always gives me verycontagious words. Following his advice I gradually have the awareness ofhardworking and optimistic, which are both important for my growing time. While,it is impossible to believe my same-age friends’ word for me.

So ,I prefer to take advice from myfriends who are older than me rather than my friends at my age.

jay871750293 · 发表于 2013-4-3 19:49:15

wrod里的填充好像复制不过来，并且后面的引用居然乱码了... 也附了一个word可以方便看哈~~
看了yyj的文章，真心觉得自己写作的积累太少了，好多用法都不懂的...
要向yyj学习咯~~
哦，还漏了一个，最后一段开头应该是a remarkable哈~

There is no consensus on whether it is worthy to take an advice from the friends older than us instead of the friends at our age yet. Honestly speak speaking, having friends of my peer is an enjoyable thing. We can share our growing time, exchange our opinions and exert ourselves to be maturity together1（exert的用法我自己不太懂，对比了一下Oxford，感觉也不太像，如果yyj确定的话就没关系了哈，如果不是很确定的话，最好再琢磨一下吧）. The company from the friends at my age affords me consolation and comfort. However, when it comes to friends’ advice, I have to say that owning friends who are older than me is a lucky thing. In other words, if I get confused, I prefer to turn to the friends older than me for advice rather than the friends at my age.

It is obvious that the older people have more experience than us we do（对比主语时应该把助动词补出来，否则会有歧义哈）, which is including（感觉includes要更顺一点，不过仅仅是感觉…）both the positive side and the negative side. They are able to afford us a wealth of precious enlightenment. I would like to take a story happened lately as an example. At those days, I had to prepare my TOEFL iBT hardly. In the meantime, I was asked to finish a paper by my professor. What’s worse, I had a great number of lessons to attend. I had a time conflict that I had too much task to do and too limited time to use. In my classmates’ opinion, I should just relax myself and let the trouble go. But I did not want to acquire nothing in the end. So I asked for my sister, who is also my older friend. She told me that a great management of time is an essential ingredient of success. And then she taught me to make a timetable and to do the most important thing first. My sister’s advice went a long way. I was free from psychological strain and finished all the three things well.

What’s more, the older friends are not only know more more knowledgeable（是想表达这个意思么？）than us, but also more intellectual than us. When they are faced to setback, they will put the trouble in perspective. Quite the opposite, if the same thing comes to me or my same-age friends, we may treat the trouble in an emotional way. My older friends’ words are always motivating and impel me to rise to the occasion. Without their help, I will be kind of negative or even go astray.

Also, an remarkable friend who is older than me is a role model for me. Their own success makes their advice more persuasive. My elder brother, who is an enterprising man, always gives me very contagious words. Following his advice I gradually have the awareness of hardworking and optimistic, which are both important for my growing time. While, it is impossible to believe my same-age friends’ word for me. So, I prefer to take advice from my friends who are older than me rather than my friends at my age.

1、

Exert-- from longman
file:///C:/Users/asus/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image001.gifto use your power, influence etc in order to make something happen
　file:///C:/Users/asus/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image003.jpgThey exerted considerable influence within the school.
　file:///C:/Users/asus/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image003.jpgEnvironmental groups are exerting pressure on the government to tighten pollution laws.

file:///C:/Users/asus/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image004.gifexert yourself （这种用法后面好像不跟 to do，第一种用法可以跟to do，如下面牛津的例句）
to work very hard and use a lot of physical or mental energy
　file:///C:/Users/asus/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image003.jpgHe has exerted himself tirelessly on behalf of the charity.

Exert-- from Oxford
file:///C:/Users/asus/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image001.gifto use power or influence to affect sb/sth: He exerted all his authority to make them accept the plan. ◆ The moon exerts a force on the earth that causes the tides.
file:///C:/Users/asus/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image004.gif~ yourself to make a big effort: In order to be successful he would have to exert himself.

4.20二战！紧随队友的脚步！只要开始就不算晚！求拍砖~~

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