argument 57

byhdhr123 · 发表于 2013-1-14 20:22:47

In the argument,the author suggests that Dura-Sock should discontinue its use of the Endure manufacturing process to make more profit.The conclusion is based on these facts:customers buy socks every three mouths;in a survey the customers rank Dura-Socks's stylish appearance and availability in many colors first.The contention seems logical at first glance,however,after scrutiny there are many specific evidences are omitted.So the conclusion is not as strong as it stands.
First of all,the arguer mentions that despite the products' durability,the customers often buy socks every three months.However,it is not enough to show that the customers use the socks only for three months.On the contrary,it may be an indicator that the endure ability is welcomed among the customers,and customers want to buy more of these kind of socks.And moreover,customers buy socks not only for themselves,and for their family and relatives as well.perhaps it is the enduring propriety that make the kind of socks sell well in the market:every 3 month customers will purchase them again.To strengthen the contention,the author should provide more information about the customers of why they buy the socks every 3 month.
Secondly,the author quotes a survey to indicate that customers prefer stylish appearance and availability of the socks.But a lot of specific details is lacked to support the purpose.First,there may be loaded questions in the survey,for instance,the durability is not even a option in the survey,so the customers have to put a secondary advantages in the first place;the survey is concentrated in the largest market of the socks,but the survey may be too concentrated in a specific area where major people don't prefer endurance.So,to support the idea,the author need to offer more details about the survey to convince readers.
In addition,even though the customs actually don prefer durability of the socks,an increase on profit may be not guaranteed.If Dura-Sock discontinues its use of the Endure manufacturing process,the quality of the socks may decline,and a lot of people may be not willing to buy the socks any more.Moreover,since a lot of customers rank stylish appearance and availability first,there may exist many competitor that are good at making their product stylish and colorful.If Dura-Sock quit using Endure manufacturing process,it may face fierce competition among others.
In conclusion,the recommendation is poorly supported.more specific details have to be included and examined carefully before claiming such a recommendation.To strength the validity of the argument, the speaker must gives us more about the evidences to support his contention.

普渡哥 · 发表于 2013-1-15 10:25:12

after scrutiny there are many specific evidences are omitted.

语法问题。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2013-1-15 17:06:26

In the argument, the author suggests that Dura-Sock shoulddiscontinue its use of the Endure manufacturing process to make more profit.The conclusion is based on these facts: customers buy socks every three mouths;in a survey the customers rank Dura-Socks's stylish appearance and availabilityin many colors first.这么简单的罗列是不是显得语言组织略弱 The contention seemslogical at first glance, however, after scrutiny there are many specificevidences are omitted. So the conclusion is not as strong as it stands.

First of all, the arguer mentions that despite of theproducts' durability, the customers often buy socks every three months. However,it is not enough to show that the customers use the socks only for threemonths. On the contrary, it may be an indicator that the endure ability iswelcomed among the customers, and customers want to buy more of these kind ofsocks. And moreover, customers buy socks not only for themselves and for theirfamily and relatives as well. Perhaps it is the enduring propriety that makesthe kind of socks sell well in the market: every 3 month customers willpurchase them again. To strengthen the contention, the author should providemore information about the customers of why they buy the socks every 3month.这个表达不对，why是副词不能跟在of后面，我建议你直接在about后面接why。

Secondly, the author quotes a survey toindicate that customers prefer stylish appearance and availability of the socks.But a lot of specific details are lacked to support the purpose. First, theremay be loaded questions？ in the survey, forinstance, the durability is not even a option in the survey, so the customershave to put a secondary advantages in the first place; the survey isconcentrated in the largest market of the socks, but the survey may be tooconcentrated in a specific area where major people don't prefer endurance. So, tosupport the idea, the author needs to offer more details about the survey toconvince readers.

In addition, even though the customsactually don prefer durability of the socks, an increase on profit may be notguaranteed. If Dura-Sock discontinues its use of the Endure manufacturingprocess, the quality of the socks may decline, and a lot of people may be notwilling to buy the socks any more. Moreover, since a lot of customers rankstylish appearance and availability first, there may exist many competitorsthat are good at making their product stylish and colorful. If Dura-Sock quitusing Endure manufacturing process, it may face fierce competition among others.
In conclusion, the recommendation is poorlysupported. More specific details have to be included and examined carefullybefore claiming such a recommendation. To strength the validity of theargument, the speaker must give us more about the evidences to support hiscontention.

普渡哥 · 发表于 2013-1-16 09:39:29

最后一段可以好好写写。

[作文互改] argument 57

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