arugment 3 求批改求点评

Tong9yu18 · 发表于 2012-11-30 10:54:21

正文：
In this letter the editor who owns a Central Plaza store, recommends the city should prohibit skateboarding in Central
Plaza. To support this recommendation the owner cites the following facts about Central Plaza: (1) the number of skateboard users in the Plaza has increased dramatically; (2) there has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the Plaza. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.First, the popularity of skateboarding increase does not necessarily indicate that the number of shoppers in Central Plaza
should steadily decrease. Perhaps the price of the products in the store happens to increase, or the quality of the products in the store decreased. For that matter, perhaps the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been decreasing over the past two years. In short, without ruling out other possible reasons for the decreased number the editor cannot convince me on the basis that the increasing number of skateboarding caused the decreasing number of shoppers.Secondly, the increase of the litter and vandalism throughout Plaza that the author cites is not necessarily due to the increasing number of skateboarding. It’s entirely possible that the quality of people decreased, or some food shops opened near the Central Plaza
. Since the article fails to account for this alternative explanation for the increasing number of litter and vandalism, the editor cannot make any sound recommendation to prohibit skateboarding.Finally, even assuming that the increased number of skateboarding caused the decreased number of the shoppers and increased number of litter and vandalism, the recommendation rests on two additional assumptions: (1) the number of skateboarding will continue in the foreseeable future, and (2) that the shoppers will prefer the editor’s store than other stores. Until the vice president substantiates both assumptions I remain unconvinced that the prohibition of skateboarding would be profitable.
In sum, the recommendation relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation the owner of the store must provide clear evidence----perhaps by way of a local survey or study----that all the reasons caused the increasing number of the litter and vandalism. To better assess the recommendation, I would need to know the editor’s store’s products are better than other stores and the number of skateboarding will still increase or stay continuously.

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-11-30 11:11:42

In sum, the recommendation relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands.

这里的that应该用which吧。

Tong9yu18 · 发表于 2012-11-30 12:43:37

谢谢指点

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-11-30 20:30:33

In this letter the editor who owns a Central
Plaza store, recommends the cityshould prohibit skateboarding in Central
Plaza. To support thisrecommendation the owner cites the following facts about Central Plaza

1) the number of skateboard users in the Plaza has increased dramatically; (2)there has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalismthroughout the Plaza. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, revealsthat none of them lend credible support to the recommendation. 不知道你有木有抓住instruction来写，但看你最后句肯定是用的模板。再就是呢，中间最好不那么分条写而能组织到一句话里最好。
First, thepopularity of skateboarding increase does not necessarily indicate that thenumber of shoppers in Central Plaza
should steadily decrease. 这里是需要有推理的，而不是迅速指出其他的可能性。这也是argu的要求，必须对自己的结论有推理的过程。下面两段同是如此Perhaps the price of the products in the store happens to increase, orthe quality of the products in the store decreased. For that matter, perhapsthe number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been decreasingover the past two years. In short, without ruling out other possible reasonsfor the decreased number the editor cannot convince me on the basis that theincreasing number of skateboarding caused the decreasing number of shoppers.
Secondly,the increase of the litter and vandalism throughout Plaza that the author citesis not necessarily due to the increasing number of skateboarding. It’s entirelypossible that the quality of people decreased, or some food shops opened nearthe Central Plaza
. Since the article fails to account for this alternative explanationfor the increasing number of litter and vandalism, the editor cannot make anysound recommendation to prohibit skateboarding.
Finally,even assuming that the increased number of skateboarding caused the decreasednumber of the shoppers and increased number of litter and vandalism, therecommendation rests on two additional assumptions: (1) the number ofskateboarding will continue in the foreseeable future, and (2) that theshoppers will prefer the editor’s store than other stores. Until the vicepresident substantiates both assumptions I remain unconvinced that theprohibition of skateboarding would be profitable.

Insum, the recommendation relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render itunconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation the owner of the storemust provide clear evidence----perhaps by way of a local survey orstudy----that all the reasons caused the increasing number of the litter andvandalism. To better assess the recommendation, I would need to know theeditor’s store’s products are better than other stores and the number ofskateboarding will still increase or stay continuously.

Tong9yu18 · 发表于 2012-12-2 10:27:00

谢谢指点啦！

arugment 3 求批改求点评

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arugment 3 求批改求点评