新G argument7 求拍！

zx9203 · 发表于 2012-11-15 11:17:44

In the recommendation, the author advocatesthat Monarch Books open a café in its store taking up the space intended forchildren’s books. This recommendation is based on an observation that MonarchBooks enjoys a large customer base. Also, the author cites a survey to showthat children’s books will become less popular due to the portion decline ofthe whole population. Furthermore, the author assumes that this new business willhelp Monarch Books to be more competitive to challenge Regal Books which hasalready opened a café. At first glance, the author’s argument appears to besomehow plausible, while a close examination will reveal how groundless it is. Wedo not have a look very far to see the invalidity of this argument. Theargument is problematic for the following reasons.

First of all, the author unfairly assumesthat national population census applies equally to the very area where MonarchBooks locates. Yet this might not be the case, for a variety of possiblereasons. Perhaps there is a steadily increase trend of children in this area,or many young couples are planning to have more babies in the coming years. Eventhe percentage of the population under age ten is declining, with theescalating population of all ages, children will still boost in the nearfuture. Also, many other factors influence the popularity of children’s books,such as children’s hobbies and parents’ pedagogies. Without ruling out suchpossibilities, the author cannot justifiably conclude that children’s bookswill certainly become out of date.

Another question that could shed light onthe author’s recommendation is whether worked for Regal Books will work forMonarch Books. This is an extremely complex question since there are hugenumbers of variables at play. For example, if Regal Books is located in a neighborhoodwhere residents are favor in drinking coffee while reading books, it is wise forRegal Books to open a café in its book store. On the other hand, if people livenear Monarch Books complain that the smell of coffee will interrupt theirthinking process in reading books, Monarch Books should consider twice aboutthe proposal. In addition, to achieve a better competition with Regal Books,Monarch Books can initiate unique marketing strategies rather than duplicateRegal Books’ s practice.

Finally, the whole recommendation dependson a flimsy assumption that a café in a bookstore can attract more customers. However,the author provides no evidence to substantiate the assumption. Common senseinforms me that there is little relationship between a café and book sale. As ismentioned in the recommendation, the variability of books on all subjects is amajor factor to maintain a large customer base. If children’s books are removedfrom range of selection, certain amount of people might be reluctant to visit MonarchBooks any more. The argument is unacceptable unless there is compellingevidence to support the connection of the two events.

To sum up, the recommendation lackscredibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strongsupport to what the author claims. To make the recommendation more persuasive, theauthor would have to demonstrate the representativeness of the nationwidesurvey and the applicability of Regal Books’ measure in Monarch Books. Before weaccept the recommendation, the author must also present substantial facts toprove the intrinsic connection between a café and book sale.

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-11-15 14:20:35

建议LZ附上题目和提纲,并在作文签到帖签到

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-11-15 14:37:38

In the recommendation, the author advocates that MonarchBooks open a café in its store taking up the space intended for children’sbooks. This recommendation is based on an observation that Monarch Books enjoysa large customer base. Also, the author cites a survey to show that children’sbooks will become less popular due to the portion decline of the wholepopulation. Furthermore, the author assumes that this new business will helpMonarch Books to be more competitive to challenge Regal Books which has alreadyopened a café. At first glance, the author’s argument appears to be some howplausible, while a close examination will reveal how groundless it is. We donot have a look very far to see the invalidity of this argument. The argumentis problematic for the following reasons.这句话建议能简洁点，然后结合instruction中的要求

First of all, the author unfairly assumes thatnational population census applies equally to the very area where Monarch Bookslocates. Yet this might not be the case, for a variety of possible reasons.Perhaps there is a steadily increase trend of children in this area, or manyyoung couples are planning to have more babies in the coming years. Even thepercentage of the population under age ten is declining, with the escalatingpopulation of all ages, children will still boost in the near future. Also,many other factors influence the popularity of children’s books, such aschildren’s hobbies and parents’ pedagogies. Without ruling out such possibilities,the author cannot justifiably conclude that children’s books will certainlybecome out of date.
作为质疑题目依据和推理的部分，重在质疑并且推理，而不在于指出其他的可能性，指出可能性的时候，也不必要指出很多，一点具体谈谈即可，而不要泛泛而谈，这显得很不专业。
Another question that could shed light on theauthor’s recommendation is whether worked for Regal Books will work for MonarchBooks. This is an extremely complex question since there are huge numbers ofvariables at play. For example, if Regal Books is located in a neighborhood whereresidents are favor in drinking coffee while reading books, it is wise for RegalBooks to open a café in its book store. On the other hand, if people live nearMonarch Books complain that the smell of coffee will interrupt their thinkingprocess in reading books, Monarch Books should consider twice about theproposal. In addition, to achieve a better competition with Regal Books, MonarchBooks can initiate unique marketing strategies rather than duplicate Regal Books’spractice.

Finally, the whole recommendation depends on aflimsy assumption that a café in a bookstore can attract more customers.However, the author provides no evidence to substantiate the assumption. Commonsense informs me that there is little relationship between a café and booksale. As is mentioned in the recommendation, the variability of books on allsubjects is a major factor to maintain a large customer base. If children’sbooks are removed from range of selection, certain amount of people might bereluctant to visit Monarch Books any more. The argument is unacceptable unlessthere is compelling evidence to support the connection of the two events.

To sum up, the recommendation lacks credibilitybecause the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to whatthe author claims. To make the recommendation more persuasive, the author wouldhave to demonstrate the representativeness of the nation wide survey and theapplicability of Regal Books’ measure in Monarch Books. Before we accept therecommendation, the author must also present substantial facts to prove theintrinsic connection between a café and book sale.
LZ的语言水平还是可以的，只是要尽量简洁精练，并且注意我在文中提到的问题

[作文互改] 新G argument7 求拍！

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